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Centre of Attention

Postby vcrpamphlet » Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:16 pm

Is there a pathology for this behaviour that isn't defined by narcissism or histrionics?

What if someone lacks certain narcissistic qualities, but has a profound need to be the centre of attention, else recede into introversion. If someone else is seen to be getting the same attention, it inspires a strong internal reaction.

Can that pathology be strong enough to become distinctive from NPD?
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Re: Centre of Attention

Postby vcrpamphlet » Thu Nov 08, 2018 2:32 am

To add, this relates to something that happened recently in my personal life:

Situation was, there's a female party who expressed a certain fondness in my direction, with a few others in the room listening, and another male party with some attachment to that female, later passed their reactive aggression over the display towards me personally; it was bizarre in how transparent it was. It's a behaviour observable in them going back a few years now. They're probably a case for covert narcissism, but it still stands out as a more salient feature than you'd expect of narcissism alone.
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Re: Centre of Attention

Postby Akuma » Fri Nov 09, 2018 4:49 am

Tbh my impression is that you are both secretly into each other lol. You seem to care a lot about his feelings and his way of showing them and he seems to care a lot about women getting your attention. Maybe you should get a room. ;)
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Re: Centre of Attention

Postby vcrpamphlet » Fri Nov 09, 2018 3:16 pm

It’s fascinating when usually helpful posters are unhelpful. :)

If you can leave your fantasies at the door, you might be better able to see the situation clearly.

It’s a room containing several people: a female makes a positive comment about a male; shortly thereafter, another male makes a negative comment about that same male - both to the same audience of listeners. Worth also mentioning that the second male has a habit of inspiring several women to circle and validate them - his behaviour in the situation I’ve described is understood to be related to the thread title because that’s just his tendency. If he’s not the centre of attention, it’s like a sizeable part of him disappears. The insertion of a female attachment is useful as an opportunity to see the bahaviour complicated by jealousy - his attachment to her, makes the sting of that particular conversational spotlight being placed on me instead of him hurt enough that his response has become useful in recognising and explaining the broader problem.

A relatively common trait, with him more extreme than I’ve seen before. It’s more specific to female attention, but any attention seems to count.
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Re: Centre of Attention

Postby Oneira » Fri Nov 09, 2018 4:03 pm

I agree with akuma.i had the same fantasy.have you ever thought maybe he is gay and wants you.and he just doesn't want you to be with the girl.
That is a possibility.
Also often people that want attention don't mind genders,is whoever gives it more.
They don't evem care much about attacment,they will just chase attention above all
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Re: Centre of Attention

Postby vcrpamphlet » Fri Nov 09, 2018 5:00 pm

Now I see why biases are coming into these responses. The "fondness" from the female towards me, wasn't romantic in any way - but could still be interpreted as praise. There's zero sexual energy in the scenario. The other male might be insecure about whatever virtue they saw as the focus of the comment towards me, but assuming there's romantic attachment is a bit like assuming that cricket batsmen have extra bulge in their groin because of an erection they have. Moreover, it also betrays the fact of your own one.
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Re: Centre of Attention

Postby Oneira » Fri Nov 09, 2018 5:26 pm

My own? Like i am attracted to same gender?
Well i meant it as a compliment and not to annoy you.
Maybe sexual attraction means more to me than praise .not sure.
But is true the sad part a lot of people would put above allthings attention for example or admiration.
Its their drug.
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