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My mom says I am a narcissist?

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My mom says I am a narcissist?

Postby wasabisauce » Sat Sep 01, 2018 1:58 pm

Hello,
Was hoping to seek some help and advice please as I am a bit confused.
So my mum got in a bad abusive relationship with a man who was alcoholic, destructive and all sorts.
She started getting into all these narcissistic/co-dependent relationship patterns and reasons. No clinical diagnosis but he does attend AA meeting.

Anyway, one day my mom lost her rented house due to neither of them having a stable income.. I took her in (am 22 and I left their house to get away but still I couldn't have my mum on the streets).

Anyway, recently whenever am unhappy with her she says am exactly like her ex, that I abuse her and that I am a narcissist.
I've read all the symptoms and it's making me really question myself. If I am unhappy I don't just put up with something. I don't want to be like them because it seems like hell.

It resulted in me asking her to leave but due to huge drama I ended up being the one leaving and living with a friend. Even though its my house I just can't deal with the door slamming, fighting and crying for anything I say.
I have to agree with everything she says.
She's never supported me through hard times always been more focused on relationships.
I just don't know how to navigate this forward.
Should I go see a professional? Some days I do feel crazy other days I feel really focused but overall I am not clear.

I could be narcissistic - I make a living as a stripper so I heard its quite high in my profession and I do identify with some of the list.
I just can't tell if its me or her that is destroying the relationship. I don't have many friends!

thank you
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Re: My mom says I am a narcissist?

Postby Psycho Delica » Wed Sep 05, 2018 1:46 am

Regardless of who the narcissist is, your mother is a grown woman and should not be impeding into her adult daughters life to this degree. Why doesn't she have an income? Is she elderly and frail? If not, she should be working and supporting herself and providing YOU with an open door policy filled with love and support, not moving into your home and then creating chaos. If she's not happy living with you to the degree where she is slamming doors and calling you an abuser, then why isn't she out of there? Sounds like parasitic control to me. And the fact she managed to get you to leave your own home while she remains makes it sound like the abuse is coming from her, not you. Im sure you're no angel ethier, but no one is. We're only human and all have our breaking points and can at times act out. But all in all, the fact she can't support herself and has to live off you and still fights with you makes me think it's time to start withdrawing yourself from her and limiting contact.

Basically, I don't know how on earth you can go about it, but she needs to GTFO of your house and woman-up and leave you to live your life. You don't have to put up with her sh!t anymore. Sounds like there's not much in it for you anyways.
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Re: My mom says I am a narcissist?

Postby Akuma » Wed Sep 05, 2018 4:48 am

Well she plays this right, she abuses your caring for her and has put you in a position where you cant let her go without feeling like an egoist - while in fact she has set up this scenario of course.
I would contact a social worker so something along those lines and see what can be doen about the situation. Depending on which country, maybe even go to the police. Or maybe theres a chat or phoneline in your city/country for family troubles you can call.
dx: dissociative disorder + npd
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Re: My mom says I am a narcissist?

Postby Philonoe » Wed Sep 05, 2018 10:31 am

wasabisauce wrote:So my mum got in a bad abusive relationship with a man who was alcoholic, destructive and all sorts.

Anyway, one day my mom lost her rented house due to neither of them having a stable income.. I took her in (am 22 and I left their house to get away but still I couldn't have my mum on the streets).

Anyway, recently whenever am unhappy with her she says am exactly like her ex, that I abuse her and that I am a narcissist.

I've read all the symptoms and it's making me really question myself.

wasabisauce,
like other posters say : what you do is very nice for her. You opened your door because she had no income. Then you left your own home because she was impossible to deal with.

If I am unhappy I don't just put up with something. I don't want to be like them because it seems like hell.

at least it is for people around :|

Should I go see a professional? Some days I do feel crazy other days I feel really focused but overall I am not clear.

I think you were extremely strong in dealing with them, then be able to be autonomous, then offering her a house.

Just ... take care for yourself. You need to be able to sort what is acceptable or not. And set boundaries with her.

It might be necessary to see a (good) professional to be able to set boundaries with her, protect yourself, both practically and internally.

I just can't tell if its me or her that is destroying the relationship. I don't have many friends!

She seems to take so much energy :(
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Re: My mom says I am a narcissist?

Postby MeAgain » Sun Sep 09, 2018 8:37 pm

Cluster B is a contagious condition that gets passed from parents to child.
30mg Citalopram SSRI Antidepressant
40mg Propranolol Beta Blocker

A mere imp of Satan
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