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Postby NevaCroix » Fri Aug 24, 2018 6:54 pm

At first, I am sorry if I open up with a tricky topic.
However, I am curious according to revenge - sometimes if someone has done an
something overbearing to me, or you know when I was feeling offended, there was a
lot of wrath.
I am not sure how to handle my deep feeling to get justice.
I can't get by off it - I am hating the hell out of me.

What do you do?

taking revenge?
talking to them in an objective way?
ignore them?
doing sports?

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Re: revenge

Postby Spaced » Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:55 pm

It depends on who they are and what exactly they did. Most of the time I'm likely to verbally confront them immediately. Not in an aggressive "wtf did you say to me you little bitch?" kind of way, more of a "Are you really sure you wanna do this?" kind of way. Eh, it's hard to put it into words without sounding like a douchey internet tough guy.

Basically my fragile ego goes into full defence mode and I feel I have to immediately shut down any further humiliation to save face. In those times when it's better for me to roll with the punches for pragmatism's sake I'll usually ended up having revenge/power fantasies to psychologically 'rebalance' the situation and make myself feel better about it.

Sometimes my sense of injustice and desire for revenge is so strong that I occasionally wonder if I would snap and kill someone. I can literally wish death on people for really trivial things. When I say something like "I wish my ######6 neighbours would die" because they made a loud noise that woke me up in the night people think I'm joking but I actually mean it. In that moment I would genuinely consider their deaths as sufficient punishment for pissing me off. That initial intense feeling does fade but I never forget a slight against me.
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Re: revenge

Postby NevaCroix » Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:49 pm

Your comment made me laugh, because the most people (,,normal ones") are much more affective than me by saying some inadequate things.
I meant everything like I said to one if he or she was misbehaving.
Some people pissed me off because of their unreflective and impulsive behaviour, that I was extremely direct and hurt their feelings.
I recognized that they were hurt, however I was not feeling wrong because of their #######5 patterns. I just defended myself - and at first I was quite polite and friendly.

Sometimes I felt an extreme wrath - and I took revenge, for example: using other people to ,,elimante" the enemy.
Putting gossip about the person, using information I get from closed ones from him or her against them .. etc.
Like you I had massive fantasies and NEVER forget what anybody did to me.

I am not easy to deal if the person acts inappropriate.

When I was studying, I worked at a fashion store, where a collague and then manager (I call him ,,X") freaked me out. After I got some information about him and his life/lifestyle, I realized his behaviour could be due to bpd. Retrospective, it explains a lot now - if you put someone with narcisstic traits and a borderline into a room.
Unfortunately it was kind of fun sometimes because of our dynamic.

However, there were a lot of dumb, unreflective and idiotic people who couldn't control their emotions and acted out because of their private problems. I never respected them and was quite mean in my comments, however this stupid hypocrites were thinking that I was joking.
I remember one situation where ,,X" was questioning and my response was:,,Do I get extra points if I act like I am interested?"
He was kind of surprised and than laughing .. didn't understand me.I was NOT joking, just telling the truth because the consequences wouldn't be negative.
In conclusion I try now to avoid revenge, because I need a lot of energy and I am in a stadium of massive anger.

Spaced, didn't you ever wanted to find another way due to revenge, and devaluation?
Or are you okay with this ,,attitude"?

Many thanks for your response.
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