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Am I a covert narcissist or do I have BPD?

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Am I a covert narcissist or do I have BPD?

Postby lamajdi » Tue Jul 24, 2018 9:29 am

I am constantly engaging in self referential thinking, I compulsively tell lies and I’m highly sensitive but love attention. I also project a lot of my thoughts and feelings onto people these mainly revolve around my insecurities. I feel like once I’m close to people they’re gonna abandon me but I don’t know whether this is me projecting the fact that I’m going to abandon them. I intellectualise a lot of my emotions and feel very inconsistent emotionally depending on these referential thoughts. I struggle to be in the present and can be quite manipulative at times as I hate talking about myself. So talk using blanket statements. I have a lot of psychological defense mechanisms that I recognize are unhealthy and tend to rotate friendships. I feel like people tend to like me but then I usually end up abandoning them. I am quite dissociative and do have issues with addictions. I’m very impulsive and change my mind a lot. At times I hate talking at times I’m incredibly narcissistic and self centered and at times just do not care about anyone. I also change my mind so much I find it hard to make decisions. I feel so strange rn, I feel like I do not know myself and just want to understand why I feel the way I do. Any further questions just ask.
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Re: Am I a covert narcissist or do I have BPD?

Postby Psycho Delica » Mon Jul 30, 2018 5:25 am

Sounds like it's time for you to see a psychologist.
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Re: Am I a covert narcissist or do I have BPD?

Postby kaloya123 » Mon Jul 30, 2018 6:53 am

This is BPD for sure, something else in addition is also possible but BPD for sure. Let me guess - you abandon people fisrt, because you don't want to be abandoned by them, right? :D :D :D
OCD+NPD+antisocial behavior (but not ASPD)
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Re: Am I a covert narcissist or do I have BPD?

Postby dazn153 » Mon Aug 06, 2018 6:41 pm

We cannot diagnose you online... I highly recommend that you see a psych. Once you know, we can begin helping!
Diagnosed partially of each: NPD, BPD, Bipolar 2, OCPD, OCD
Psych Ward: 7 days ER: 2x No self-harm + In psychiatric treatment
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Re: Am I a covert narcissist or do I have BPD?

Postby serena33 » Thu Aug 09, 2018 10:49 am

Hi Hon, I have friend so much like you. Are you my friend, lol?

I agree with the others, you probably would benefit from a formal diagnosis. Then again, my friend got his `formal diagnosis' and I believe it was so superficial and inaccurate, it hasn't helped anyone is his life to properly understand him or adjust their expectations appropriately.

At least two people in my friend's life who have known him for over 8 years say he is most likely Borderline PD, with Vulnerable NPD as primary defence mechanism. I tend to agree with it.

To be honest, its not a horrible set of personality traits when you understand them, from a friend's perspective. Its just hard on people around you when you're not diagnosed and can't give them an explanation for your behavior.






lamajdi wrote:I am constantly engaging in self referential thinking, I compulsively tell lies and I’m highly sensitive but love attention. I also project a lot of my thoughts and feelings onto people these mainly revolve around my insecurities. I feel like once I’m close to people they’re gonna abandon me but I don’t know whether this is me projecting the fact that I’m going to abandon them. I intellectualise a lot of my emotions and feel very inconsistent emotionally depending on these referential thoughts. I struggle to be in the present and can be quite manipulative at times as I hate talking about myself. So talk using blanket statements. I have a lot of psychological defense mechanisms that I recognize are unhealthy and tend to rotate friendships. I feel like people tend to like me but then I usually end up abandoning them. I am quite dissociative and do have issues with addictions. I’m very impulsive and change my mind a lot. At times I hate talking at times I’m incredibly narcissistic and self centered and at times just do not care about anyone. I also change my mind so much I find it hard to make decisions. I feel so strange rn, I feel like I do not know myself and just want to understand why I feel the way I do. Any further questions just ask.
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Re: Am I a covert narcissist or do I have BPD?

Postby SummerStorms » Thu Aug 30, 2018 8:52 pm

lamajdi wrote:I am constantly engaging in self referential thinking, I compulsively tell lies and I’m highly sensitive but love attention. I also project a lot of my thoughts and feelings onto people these mainly revolve around my insecurities. I feel like once I’m close to people they’re gonna abandon me but I don’t know whether this is me projecting the fact that I’m going to abandon them. I intellectualise a lot of my emotions and feel very inconsistent emotionally depending on these referential thoughts. I struggle to be in the present and can be quite manipulative at times as I hate talking about myself. So talk using blanket statements. I have a lot of psychological defense mechanisms that I recognize are unhealthy and tend to rotate friendships. I feel like people tend to like me but then I usually end up abandoning them. I am quite dissociative and do have issues with addictions. I’m very impulsive and change my mind a lot. At times I hate talking at times I’m incredibly narcissistic and self centered and at times just do not care about anyone. I also change my mind so much I find it hard to make decisions. I feel so strange rn, I feel like I do not know myself and just want to understand why I feel the way I do. Any further questions just ask.


You sound a bit like me, lol!
My Dx among other things was 'cluster B and C traits'. I can see some of a bunch of those in me and read a lot about them. I also find myself manipulating, but more 'don't hurt me!' type. I find that I can't bear to have anyone think badly of me and I think about that a lot. I have read that 'can't stand to have others think badly of me' is true of some Narcs. I'm guessing (that's a guess not a diagnosis I'm not a doctor) that i have some of the NPD part of the cluster B traits.

I find myself constantly trying to sound better, more likeable, more whatever will cause the person I'm communicating with to like me... and sometimes to influence them to go my way as well. The 'wanting to influence them' and manufacturing/changing/editing the way I talk could be narcissism. If you find yourself doing that? Maybe. (Again I'm not a doc.)
This also has overlap with BPD though, as am constantly feeling like I'm telling tiny lies due to language editation. And it's hard to feel like I'm telling the truth even when I am. I hear (from my psych) and read that that part's more BPD.
Another part of BPD can be very black and white thinking, either something is awesome or it's totally bad/broken and seeing context or grey can be harder. I have this, but I'm also bipolar type 2. And I misread people's intentions, and think any vaguely critical posts, words or looks tend to be at me (the world revolves around me type of thing, lol.)

Do your fears of abandonment have any links to events in childhood that you know of? For me there is and it's very clear and obvious. (Unfortunately, till the past six years, I've lost friends regularly and more through their having enough of my nonsense and lack of self esteem and going, than my leaving them. There has been significant progress these last six years though and i have a partner and two very close friends and am actually optimistic about it, and that optimism even feels honest to me.)

Good luck out there, pardon my rambling, and I agree with the other commenters, getting a referral to a psychiatrist for potential diagnosis, if you can, and a psychologist for therapy, if you can, would be good.
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Re: Am I a covert narcissist or do I have BPD?

Postby MeAgain » Sun Sep 09, 2018 10:09 pm

I have to remind people that Covert and Closet Narcissists ARE Borderlines; but with moderate narcissistic defences. Middle Spectrum Narcissists; that is low level NPDs. Whereas, typical BPDs have only low or mild narcissistic defences.
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