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Relationship Issue

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Relationship Issue

Postby Magnetar315 » Mon Jul 09, 2018 4:59 pm

So I have been in a relationship for nearly 3 years then we got separated. I feel hurt more than anytime in my life I have never felt such pain in my life. Normally i would have very short relationships get dumped and be okay in very few days without even bothering to go back with any of them but this time it is not the same. After we left each other i tried a lot to gain her back but I seemed to have been saying the same stuff about changing and making things work this time for nearly 6 months before we end up this way. The only difference this time is that i was diagnosed with NPD after she left by few days so I went back to her to ask her to come back again telling her where the real problem is and my plans about fixing thins up and never letting myself on the autopilot ever again etc. She has medical background so she is kinda aware of NPD and she is unable to believe anything would change or even I love her. She has all doubts about the narc supply and withdrawal thing or merely wanting the relationship not necessarily wanting her as a person. But I do really love her I just can't find a single way to win her trust back and she wants a 6 months break and I'm so terrible at waiting and I'm in serious pain that I can no longer move on with my life or do anything. It has been about 1 month since she left and I'm still unable to realize that she is gone, I didn't even have the slightest idea to move on yet all I think about is gaining her trust so that i can win her back but the whole problem is that I'm unable to make her believe that this time things are different and I'm now aware of the defect so I started dealing with it.
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Re: Relationship Issue

Postby Akuma » Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:11 am

If you love her then why dont you give her the 6 months and get a therapist in the meanwhile.
dx: dissociative disorder + npd
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Re: Relationship Issue

Postby girl234 » Fri Sep 07, 2018 5:10 pm

As a narcissist the most important thing to do with recovery and healing of your life is to not expect it to improve quickly and to not give up or become angry just because it's painful to do the thing. You can do your own research to ensure the painful thing is the right one that works for people with your particular personality, but when you find that it is true then you do need to actually do it and not give up. So when you keep in contact with this woman just be sure you are really doing it and then she may believe you eventually. And again that is the while point. When she doesn't trust you, you didn't show up somewhere you never called you never apologized pre emptively and the reason is because you were in a car accident, she SHOULDN'T trust you automatically. When she says you're required to bring the papers from the he hospital to prove it then do so happily because only after many months or a year with 0 times when you lied that the person should trust or start to believe you automatically. For example. If she is indocteinated into assholes' psychiatry then perhaps she will ostracized regardless of anything because of the diagnosis. If that happens then please just improve yourself the same way anyway because it ends your own internal pain eventually and it makes your relationships happier of people you care for. In that case you may find another girl because if your narcussism improves then you will be able to have a relationship for real more easily so the chances go up a lot. However of she is not fully in doctrinated just believing psychiatrists and a narcissistic victim "support group" where they do is throw vitriol and demand for you to not be with your partner who is a covert narcissist and try to make sure you as the victim kill.yourself because of them. If she is not like that if she has the possible ikity not to believe those people, then she can come back when you improve just please remember that improvements are expected to be slow and so is her trust as well, but it can happen but only as long as you keep on doing it and don't give up and just start yelling at her again or quitting your therapies because one day made you have a bad memory and felt painful. It will feel painful on those days but the memories are required to "cure" it.

Of course this is also assuming that you are actually a covert narcissist. If not then the paragraph might still be kind-of true but not necessarily and it depends on what is the real thing that you actually have if any.
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