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love

Postby karenk » Sat Jun 02, 2018 9:50 pm

I just spent a few hours with my adult children into little grandchildren and I don't feel any love towards them and it makes me so uncomfortable and sad I didn't realize as a mother when my children were growing up that I didn't love them in the sense that I was supposed to so I thought it was all normal but now I see it and it really bothers me to the point where I don't want to be around them does anybody else feel like this
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Re: love

Postby Absinthe » Sat Jun 02, 2018 10:00 pm

You’re a grandmother? If this lack of feeling isn’t new, how have you dealt with it up to now?
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Re: love

Postby karenk » Sun Jun 03, 2018 2:09 am

After my daughter I thought I had postpartum depression but looking back in through all the years I just never really had a deep sense of love for my children I never mistreated them I just emotionally held love from them
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Re: love

Postby realityhere » Mon Jun 04, 2018 10:12 am

@karenk,

Are you able to go back to your own family history of how you were treated as a child? If there was parental physical, sexual, verbal/emotional abuse or neglect in a child's life, this history is often repeated from the now grown adult to his/her own children. Unfortunately it's a cycle that repeats itself down through generations in a family. Is there something that occurred in your early life that can perhaps explain why you feel no sense of love for your children?
AWAY from mod duties, please contact another moderator.
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Re: love

Postby ShowJumpingRabbit » Mon Jun 04, 2018 8:50 pm

karenk wrote:I just never really had a deep sense of love for my children I never mistreated them I just emotionally held love from them


In order to be able to pass love along you need to have been shown how to, if you're lucky, you've been shown when you grew up, if not, you'd probably have to learn. Most people have no idea how to love, but they are able to learn fast, should they want to. Disordered people get the short end of the stick, in the sense that, there are so many hardwiring to undo, that it takes a much longer time to get here.
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