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Wanting to win??

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Wanting to win??

Postby lark265 » Mon Apr 30, 2018 12:51 am

I read in another forum how Narcissists may just want to get back with an ex because they just don't want to lose. I think I can relate to this. When I am "let go" (dumped), it tends to devastate me even though I wasn't that happy in the relationship. A major paradox. It has been inexpiable to me. I hate it. I was explaining this to my sister one time and she said that I "just want to win." This made sense. I didn't know why but it made sense. Was my poor little ego bruised so much I couldn't take it? Wow, that's not cool. I suppose the "healthy" thing would be to miss someone because you love them and the relationship was good. But that just isn't my experience.
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Re: Wanting to win??

Postby dazn153 » Wed May 23, 2018 7:13 pm

lark265 wrote:I read in another forum how Narcissists may just want to get back with an ex because they just don't want to lose. I think I can relate to this. When I am "let go" (dumped), it tends to devastate me even though I wasn't that happy in the relationship. A major paradox. It has been inexpiable to me. I hate it. I was explaining this to my sister one time and she said that I "just want to win." This made sense. I didn't know why but it made sense. Was my poor little ego bruised so much I couldn't take it? Wow, that's not cool. I suppose the "healthy" thing would be to miss someone because you love them and the relationship was good. But that just isn't my experience.


To us, it is ALL about winning. We want the last laugh. We want to see how much pain they suffered. We want to be the one in control who dumps.

But if you allow yourself to be dumped and then realize that you are not dead (hopefully), you realize that maybe it isn't so bad? The trauma isn't so bad?
Diagnosed partially of each: NPD, BPD, Bipolar 2, OCPD, OCD
Psych Ward: 7 days ER: 2x No self-harm + In psychiatric treatment
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Re: Wanting to win??

Postby Rena83 » Sun Jun 03, 2018 3:47 am

Well, with me I want to win too and I'm NPD. So if you stick me with a person who wants to win it's like two lions fighting to death. I've had fights last weeks, I've had them threaten jobs, sanity, hurt people mentally, even other family that watch it.

So...idk. Just pick an easy loser and you'll always win.
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Re: Wanting to win??

Postby Goldylocks4u » Mon Jun 04, 2018 7:32 am

I was in 2 year relationship with a Narcissist! It was the biggest eye opener of my life! Read the red flag’s early on, and leave them be if you want a worry free no stress life!
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Re: Wanting to win??

Postby realityhere » Mon Jun 04, 2018 8:08 pm

Sent PM to you, Goldylocks4u. Pls check upper left corner of your screen and click on (1 new message).
AWAY from mod duties, please contact another moderator.
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