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Should I send this to my new therapist?

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Should I send this to my new therapist?

Postby priscgrove » Tue Apr 10, 2018 11:55 pm

"You’re either going to despise me or find me very interesting. I’m unsure if therapy will work for me because I tend to know the same amount as therapists who merely just have a degree in psychology or especially social work. I nearly completed one myself before becoming bored. I know more about myself than anyone ever could. It’s hard for me to do therapy because I know this, and because there are a lot of negative things that I have no desire to change, and also because it’s hard for me to abandon my attempts of charming other people. It’s difficult for me to be honest about certain things, because I want people to like me and I want to have control. I’m the last person you’d suspect under ordinary circumstances and it’s with great difficulty that I write this to give to you but it’s the only way I can be sure I’ll be honest and have any chance of success with therapy. I want to say I’d prefer a male therapist, and that if I’m at all threatened by you as a woman I will probably not be honest about a lot of things. I’ll probably overcompensate now by being very over friendly in our sessions if I can’t help it.

So, naturally I may be a very difficult patient to treat. The reason I’m here at all is because I become very depressed and suicidal at times, and because of my OCD. I’m going to make this very simple. I want to stop having repetitive urges/actions and thoughts. I've tried a number of things with no luck. As far as my depression goes, I feel I have it relatively under control most of the time, my antidepressants do a good job. The only things I struggle with are a feeling of emptiness from lack of empathy and connection with other people, hypersensitivity to criticism, and intense jealousy. I would really like to treat and overcome these things, but this becomes complicated when I really don’t want to abandon my feelings of superiority, or my inherent desire to manipulate people. However, I do want to be a better person, it's just a challenge for me to be more considerate of others.

I hope that this explanation makes your life a little bit easier, and that you can know in advance if I need to see someone else."
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Re: Should I send this to my new therapist?

Postby throwawayayerye » Wed Apr 11, 2018 12:52 am

Well, my gut feeling is it probably doesn't matter too much, unless you aren't paying them or they are sought after, but I'm not a therapist.

You could make it sound better. They say in order to be treated you have to be at a point where you are willing and eager to change. There are many points there that demonstrate unwillingness to change. I don't know if your phrase ordering is just poor though, maybe you could say "I am aware that I am [blah blah a bitch blah] but I feel [some bad things blah blah] so I would like you to be aware upfront that I may be a difficult patient. Knowing this, would you be willing to proceed?" or something.

Good luck

Edit: actually the first couple sentences might piss them off. Maybe reword a little?
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Re: Should I send this to my new therapist?

Postby priscgrove » Wed Apr 11, 2018 1:02 am

Very true. It seems to be unnecessarily off-putting but that's how I was trying to convey myself intentionally, cause in actual sessions I would be pretty bad, too. Thanks for your feedback but it was a rough, general idea I haven't fine-tuned it. More curious if I should send anything at all? I'm not sure if I want to do therapy... I'm just supposed to, and it's free. I was excited about it initially but now I'm unsure if it will even work.
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Re: Should I send this to my new therapist?

Postby Quoth » Wed Apr 11, 2018 1:07 am

I personally wouldn’t. Just be specific with the therapist about what you want to work on.

A lot of this looks like extraneous waffle attempting to control someone’s perception of you.
as if in a broken jug for one backwards moment
water might keep its shape
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Re: Should I send this to my new therapist?

Postby priscgrove » Wed Apr 11, 2018 1:27 am

Quoth wrote:attempting to control someone’s perception of you.


Oh my god you're so right, somehow I didn't even notice that.
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Re: Should I send this to my new therapist?

Postby Akuma » Wed Apr 11, 2018 4:21 am

priscgrove wrote:Very true. It seems to be unnecessarily off-putting but that's how I was trying to convey myself intentionally, cause in actual sessions I would be pretty bad, too. Thanks for your feedback but it was a rough, general idea I haven't fine-tuned it. More curious if I should send anything at all? I'm not sure if I want to do therapy... I'm just supposed to, and it's free. I was excited about it initially but now I'm unsure if it will even work.


Well thats your borderline. You will wave like this all the time and the oscillations might become stronger first, not weaker. If its important to you you will have to find an anchor to stay put even if your emotions tell you otherwise. Also, what Quoth said. >_>;
dx: dissociative disorder + npd
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Re: Should I send this to my new therapist?

Postby priscgrove » Wed Apr 11, 2018 4:23 pm

I'm just starting to think that maybe I should only attend therapy for my OCD symptoms, and avoid addressing anything else because it becomes too convoluted. The reason I was going to warn her at all is because she doesn't even know my diagnoses at the moment.
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Re: Should I send this to my new therapist?

Postby Akuma » Wed Apr 11, 2018 4:28 pm

What kind of therapy is it?
dx: dissociative disorder + npd
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Re: Should I send this to my new therapist?

Postby priscgrove » Wed Apr 11, 2018 7:28 pm

CBT
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Re: Should I send this to my new therapist?

Postby Knoxious » Wed Apr 11, 2018 10:55 pm

I'd just read it if i were you. You went through the trouble, you want to do it, it will give your therapist something to think about..

I mean, it will get out there one way or another so why not expedite the process?
- Knox
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