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Is it worth fixing NPD? And how?

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Re: Is it worth fixing NPD? And how?

Postby Akuma » Wed Apr 11, 2018 4:16 am

throwawayayerye wrote:Oh, well, I guess I'll just go to therapy, since it seems like no one here has gone yet. You were right, Kimera, I was in the wrong place.


Most of our members are in therapy as far as I know. But the question can only be answered with theoretical constructs as heracles has pointed out. If you want I can point you to some of them, but it's a bit liek playing prophet, noone knows if even thse generalized ideas will apply to you.
Therapy itself is necessarily quite individual. I'm in psychoanalytic therapy for example and I've had a lot of interesting side-effects in the few months Ive been in, including lots of dissociative symptoms and hallucinations. It has helped reduce my paranoia already tho.
dx: dissociative disorder + npd
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Re: Is it worth fixing NPD? And how?

Postby dazn153 » Wed May 23, 2018 7:45 pm

You cannot piece together shattered glass. That is what a personality disorder is - your thoughts and brain are fully fragmented.

I have learned to stop the majority of the suffering by just ACCEPTING it is what I am. Then when things are starting to escalate/blow up, you can speak about it maturely to your significant other like a normal human rather than blowing up on them and splitting them "black," which makes it much harder to recover. :D
Diagnosed partially of each: NPD, BPD, Bipolar 2, OCPD, OCD
Psych Ward: 7 days ER: 2x No self-harm + In psychiatric treatment
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Re: Is it worth fixing NPD? And how?

Postby Goldylocks4u » Mon Jun 04, 2018 7:20 am

They come of as charming! They also put on the biggest front to reel you in! Please educate yourself, and leave them alone. You will be glad you did! :)
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Re: Is it worth fixing NPD? And how?

Postby notaspecialperson » Thu Jun 21, 2018 12:35 pm

throwawayayerye wrote:Can anyone with NPD or who has worked with NPD tell me about their experience in therapy?

1. What was your NPD like?
2. What did you do to combat it?
3. What was your life like afterwards?
4. What did you learn from it?


1. Like living in hell. I had a lot of issues with anxiety and fear of abandonment. I found the grandiose fantasies incredibly distracting. I struggled to concentrate at work on anything that wasn't 'special' and my self esteem would go up and down, minute to minute. I hated it, and didn't even know that I had anything wrong with me..
2. I had therapy which treated many of my symptoms. Eventually me and my therapist realised I was NPD, and coming to the understanding that I'm not special, used as a kind of CBT treated my grandiose fantasies, self esteem issues, and existential emptiness/fear issues.
3. Much better. I appreciate the people in my life just as they are and connect with them.
4. Many things, but I feel incredibly nonjudgemental of people with mental health issues, and of people in general.
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Re: Is it worth fixing NPD? And how?

Postby notaspecialperson » Thu Jun 21, 2018 12:45 pm

heracles wrote:Therapy may work for you, as it might for people with a conventional worldview. It works much the same as shamanism does in primitive cultures. I don't belittle it. What bothers me is the dismissive attitude on this forum toward people who prefer self-help or want to discuss their problems outside the conventional psychiatry/clinical psychology box.

I love this!! During therapy I started to have spiritual experiences while I was processing some of the teachings. I feel like clinical psychology is a kind of scientifically validated mysticism, what with many of the ideas in psychology coming from various world religions.

I know I don't frown on self help (and much of the improvement I have had has been due to self help) but then I am new here. I was pleasantly surprised though with what I was able to discover in therapy. I strongly encourage anybody to give it a try because I can honestly say that those methods really do work. The only thing anybody has to lose is money, and you can be a cheapskate to get lots of value from each visit - quiz your therapist then ruminate on what they have to say for a month between each visit :lol: The thing about it is that therapy really is like self help, it's like shamanism - the journey is yours to make, the therapist is simply a guide.
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Re: Is it worth fixing NPD? And how?

Postby Evade » Mon Jun 25, 2018 3:32 pm

To answer your questions:

1. What was your NPD like? Putting aside that NPD is just a label... Just like notaspecialperson said. It was tough, especially when I didn't know what it was. I'd swing from beating the crap out of myself, to thinking I was amazing, in moments. I'd always be on guard, could never relax. If the company I was in wasn't perfect, I'd be sitting over beers not listening to anything anyone was saying, in my own little meta-world, it would be exhausting, life was exhausting, and I'd miss all the good stuff.
2. What did you do to combat it? Therapy. Working out why I am like this helped. Then working on symptoms, using schemas, transactions, and other tools. Then more recently, working on staying present, turning the narrative off, live in the moment, and enjoy being, enjoy being yourself. Next I've got to spend a lot of time rebuilding myself from ground-up, keeping what's real, killing what's not real. And loads of other stuff I'm sure. And other stuff about friends and relations - I've been pretty crap as far as that's concerned.
3. What was your life like afterwards? I'm not afterwards yet, but my symptoms are much, much reduced. My head is a more peaceful place to be. I'm a little scared that I don't know who I am. Who I'll end-up being. But also excited. I've still got things to work on - right now I'm working on not judging anyone, it's hard, but kinda fun too. I don't expect I'll ever be *normal* if there is such a thing, but I'm confident that I'll keep changing for the good.
4. What did you learn from it? How messed-up I am. I actually thought I only had a few issues when I started. I also learned that my parents were/are rubbish parents/people, where I used to idolise them, that was/is probably the hardest thing to come to terms with. One of the main things my therapist has taught me is to not take all too seriously, enjoy setting challenges and laugh when you catch yourself.

You also asked:

Is it worth it? Hell yeah. I'm hoping I've got another 30 years here, at least. I want to live that to the fullest. Already I'm much happier.

I do think therapy helps, but only if:

a) You have the right therapist. There are so many terrible ones around, charlatans who've done a few week-long courses and think they're therapists. I personally now look for ones high in formal qualifications, masters degree in psychology minimum, who is accredited (BACP in the UK), who has done clinical in an institution for some time. This therapist is my third, she's way better than the previous two.
b) You have a real interest in the subject and process, and are invested. I don't see how you can't be, given what's at stake, but the way you describe your sessions, maybe you aren't that interested, or maybe you have a rubbish therapist. I really love coming out of a session with my head spinning, mind blown, then clarity slowly coming in over the next few days. I love the realisation moments in sessions. It's a real roller-coaster.
c) You really do want to change, sounds like you do.
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Re: Is it worth fixing NPD? And how?

Postby BadShrimp » Thu Jun 28, 2018 5:06 pm

Nope. I don't want to fix my NPD and I never will. I love myself too much to care what other people think. I don't have a problem, and my life is awesome because I have NPD.

I can't fix something that is not broken.
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Re: Is it worth fixing NPD? And how?

Postby realityhere » Thu Jun 28, 2018 7:26 pm

@badshrimp,

"Can anyone with NPD or who has worked with NPD tell me about their experience in therapy?"

I presume you've never had therapy for issues raised by your disorder?
AWAY from mod duties, please contact another moderator.
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Re: Is it worth fixing NPD? And how?

Postby CopyCat27 » Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:26 am

Sorry to digress OP but isn't it funny how one can introspect so much about themselves but never really be able to find even a shred of who they are as a person? It's like some sort of machine trying to figure out what it is but the problem is the programming from the start.

Anyhow, not sure if there is a fox for narcissism per say. But what most people say as far as I know is that you should make your life better and therefore the life of those around you. The problem of course is that it's like you are acting and the question is how much can you act. At some given moment your partner or child will see or sense something is off. People are more sensitive to the aura you project as opposed to what you say or do. For example, you could buy someone a gift but that's just a mechanical action. Maybe if you bought them something trite that reminded them of a pleasant moment that could mean much much more. And I think that's the problem in narcissism...

No answers I can give because I ask the same things you ask. You say you have money... keep your eyes peeled for some new forms of therapy coming out. It works mainly on the root cause of narcissism. The emotional trauma of childhood. They suggest that if you are retraumatised exactly as you were in childhood then you can be taught that the abuse shouldn't keep you imprisoned in the vicious cycle of narcissism. I hope this makes sense to you. It's like recommendation of the narcissistic defence mechanism but carried out in a controlled setting with the aim of undoing the false self and allowing the inner self to come out.

https://m.youtu
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Re: Is it worth fixing NPD? And how?

Postby Aals » Tue Jul 10, 2018 7:29 am

It would be very interesting to know how psychedelics or MDMA can help people who have personality disorders. At this point the results for treating PTSD or depression are quite promising, but more research is needed. Maybe they could help people with PDs as well.
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