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How do you replace supply?

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How do you replace supply?

Postby steerfield2017 » Sat Dec 16, 2017 6:58 am

Once you've become self-aware and can recognise your narcissism functioning in real-time, how do you avoid narcissistic thinking?

What activities serve you as a good substitute for narcissistic supply?

I need to be disciplined and practice mindfulness twice a day otherwise everything turns progressively flatter. Finding a healthier motivation seems, from experience, to need good self-awareness and constant introspection, and a suitable/meaningful life pursuit to work towards. And patience; the older I get, the longer the reorientation seems to take.

Has anyone here totally replaced their supply need?

Feels like I'm on the right track personally, but progress has been slow. Recently switched from weight-training to running and finding that pushing through cardiovascular pain-barriers triggers an endorphin rush strong enough to cause controllable hypomania, which produces ample energy propulsion for the day; and there's a snow balling effect to that over time.

Running apparently also boosts learning ability, by stimulating increased neuroplasticity: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17185007 . Meaning, it'll also boost the effectiveness of any other cognitive work you're doing.

Mixing that kind of exercise with therapy and CBT and mindfulness for a few years would surely make some headway. Something like: 10-20km daily run + 2X1hr daily sits of mindfulness meditation + a good diet + CBT vanity avoidance (avoiding mirror reflections, thinking self-indulgently, thinking in terms of 'I', etc.) + changing to a job with zero ego incentive + unplugging from all social media + replacing social media with regular face-to-face contact with friends and family, applying Dale Carnegie social principles, genuinely; etc. etc.

Or is self-improvement a trap of its own?
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Re: How do you replace supply?

Postby realityhere » Mon Dec 18, 2017 4:43 am

Self-improvement for anyone, never mind the PD, is a positive and forward step for both one's own physical and mental health. Self-improvement has benefits beyond just attention to a needy PD.
AWAY from mod duties, please contact another moderator.
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Re: How do you replace supply?

Postby steerfield » Mon Dec 18, 2017 6:17 am

Agreed. The trap to avoid, maybe, is thinking of yourself as superior due to the improvement you end up achieving. Something more common among Ns than nons, but it can be seductive to anyone.

Thinking laterally, it could be argued that improving oneself would also involve ego avoidance and becoming less narcissistic in general --- just depends on your willingness to change.
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Re: How do you replace supply?

Postby MalvaBlue » Mon Dec 18, 2017 9:51 am

The trap to avoid is to feed your image over you.

On Psychforums, this is what some members and mods seem to often fall prey to. Their initial impulse being to speak and learn about the disorder but NPD's natural impulse is to seize the supply to feed the image. This is where discipline is required.
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Re: How do you replace supply?

Postby MalvaBlue » Mon Dec 18, 2017 11:54 am

Realized I did not answer the question: you replace supply by getting in touch with your feelings. You can't just repress narcissism or force interest in others until you make it.
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Re: How do you replace supply?

Postby Jean33 » Mon Dec 18, 2017 8:07 pm

MalvaBlue wrote:Realized I did not answer the question: you replace supply by getting in touch with your feelings. You can't just repress narcissism or force interest in others until you make it.


Well this would actually heal in some way a person with NP in my opinion or maybe partially heal, but as we know NPD is incurable. You don't get much in touch with your emotions besides anger, hate and so on, that's the problem with NPD.
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Re: How do you replace supply?

Postby Arthur » Tue Dec 19, 2017 3:15 am

How do you avoid narcissistic thinking?
Through self awareness... becoming aware of your projections and negative beliefs and how they affect you.
Replacing your narcissistic fantasies with something more realistic or finding a more realistic way of going about achieving them.
Being honest with people about how you really feel, being vulnerable and learning to accept your feelings
Changing your environment

I find it works better for me to find a more healthy way of getting supply rather than just trying to avoid supply all together
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Re: How do you replace supply?

Postby MalvaBlue » Tue Dec 19, 2017 3:52 am

Yeah finding ways to find validation without feeding the image ( supply ).

Dismantling maladaptive mechanisms is crucial. F.e. ( narcissistic ) projection : arises from feelings of panic associated to perceiving the image under siege. And learning how to stay with said emotions, ideally trace them back to their origin and replace them with healthy defenses. Not complicated just tedious.
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Re: How do you replace supply?

Postby KingPingX » Tue Dec 19, 2017 9:47 am

I dont replace supply. Why should I?
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Re: How do you replace supply?

Postby Arthur » Tue Dec 19, 2017 4:19 pm

I'm not sure what type of an answer steerfield2017 is looking for

What type of supply do you want to replace?

Wanting to lift weights, look good, or do well in your field isn't necessarily a bad thing. You just have to be balanced and think about relationships with the people around you

I was thinking of other types of supply that are more destructive to relationships

A narcissist who talks about themselves 100% of the time might feel good if they only talk about themselves 90% of the time and spends 10% of the time listening to someone else

A narcissist who always brags and puts other people down might feel good if they occasionally compliment someone else

A narcissist who insults people when he feels bored or diminished or depressed might sometimes be able to share his feelings with other people rather than insulting them to make himself feel better

It starts to feel good, gives you supply, to know that other people like you and the way that you treat them

But that might not work in every situation

Isn't it possible to continue to do weightlifting or continue in your field but do things in a more healthy way?

I think steerfield2017 is right when he suspects that he might not have the right mentality.
When I discovered I was NPD I also went a little too far in trying to change everything at once and I suspect that might not be the best way to go about it
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