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NPD/BPD Affair Partners

Postby beesknees » Thu Oct 12, 2017 11:06 pm

I have been here before, just haven't posted in quite some time. The last time I posted I was in distress and was accused of being a troll. :roll:

Well in order to be concise, I am a diagnosed BPD that is the mistress of a diagnosed NPD. We both found out throughout the course of our roller coaster that we are both disordered. Which explains a lot. I've know him 24 years. His entire family is disordered, as is mine, just in different ways. His mother is a narcissistic witch and attempts to control his every move as he is her beloved precious. He is a covert. He states that he married his wife because it was what his family wanted. Which I do have evidence of outside of him. We have a child and he has one with his wife. Both are infants. He doesn't really connect with children. I don't know how he will be with that portion of this, although it does concern me quite a bit.

We discuss being together. We have done this dance for YEARS, no matter who either of us have been with, and have gotten to the point where we realize we will only keep hurting the others we keep bringing into this....lunacy. But does he mean it? Is it possible that the seemingly self aware conversations are just more NPD lies so that he can stay married and still have me? I know that none of you know him, but its kind of a if you were him, what would be your mindset? He says that I am the only person who makes him FEEL. So....thoughts?
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Re: NPD/BPD Affair Partners

Postby Akuma » Fri Oct 13, 2017 3:51 am

Relationship questions belong into the relationship board. We dont know your BF, so your questions can't be answered.
Such a relationship will never work though, not only because of the PD dynamics but also because he is married.
There is a good book "Joan Lachkar - The Narcissistic/Borderline Couple". If you can't get therapy, at least grab this and read it.
dx: dissociative disorder + npd
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Re: NPD/BPD Affair Partners

Postby Midwinter » Fri Oct 13, 2017 4:31 am

My thought is...

We do not care. We do not know your boyfriend. I get your emotions are getting to you, and you had an impulsive urge to write this post. But no.
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Re: NPD/BPD Affair Partners

Postby Biggirlscry » Wed Nov 29, 2017 1:49 pm

Midwinter wrote:My thought is...

We do not care. We do not know your boyfriend. I get your emotions are getting to you, and you had an impulsive urge to write this post. But no.


SLAM! Oh my, LOL.... like an innocent bird entering the lion's den looking for succour only to be ruthlessly swatted and tossed out unceremoniously. One wonders if the OP's BF is truly NPD that she could imagine finding warmth and empathy here.... ;)

I must admit however that I found the whole exchange highly amusing and quintessential..... and oddly arousing. But nevermind, that is just my irrational addictive attraction for pwNPD that has lead to the toxic devastion of a litany of past slaughtered relationships that strangely keep coming back round again for another row on the battlefield. Oh the passion and bloodlust of the toxic relationship... isn't obsessive love grand? ;)
Diagnosed BPD, HPD traits, Anxiety, Crazy Bitch

to date me you've gotta be mentally strong, because I will push all your buttons, buttons you didn't even know you had...

"Sweet as sugar, hard as ice, hurt me once I'll kill you twice." - Jeffree Star
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Re: NPD/BPD Affair Partners

Postby Midwinter » Wed Nov 29, 2017 8:06 pm

Biggirlscry wrote:
Midwinter wrote:My thought is...

We do not care. We do not know your boyfriend. I get your emotions are getting to you, and you had an impulsive urge to write this post. But no.


SLAM! Oh my, LOL.... like an innocent bird entering the lion's den looking for succour only to be ruthlessly swatted and tossed out unceremoniously. One wonders if the OP's BF is truly NPD that she could imagine finding warmth and empathy here.... ;)

I must admit however that I found the whole exchange highly amusing and quintessential..... and oddly arousing. But nevermind, that is just my irrational addictive attraction for pwNPD that has lead to the toxic devastion of a litany of past slaughtered relationships that strangely keep coming back round again for another row on the battlefield. Oh the passion and bloodlust of the toxic relationship... isn't obsessive love grand? ;)


If you find that arousing, I can help you onward with more of that. Hit me up. I have a tendency to destroy borderlines.
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Re: NPD/BPD Affair Partners

Postby Hebi » Wed Nov 29, 2017 8:15 pm

Biggirlscry wrote:
SLAM! Oh my, LOL.... like an innocent bird entering the lion's den looking for succour only to be ruthlessly swatted and tossed out unceremoniously. One wonders if the OP's BF is truly NPD that she could imagine finding warmth and empathy here.... ;)

I must admit however that I found the whole exchange highly amusing and quintessential..... and oddly arousing. But nevermind, that is just my irrational addictive attraction for pwNPD that has lead to the toxic devastion of a litany of past slaughtered relationships that strangely keep coming back round again for another row on the battlefield. Oh the passion and bloodlust of the toxic relationship... isn't obsessive love grand? ;)


Thanks for sharing. I don’t think OP was lookin for a reply from you though, sorry.

-- Wed Nov 29, 2017 3:24 pm --

Midwinter wrote:
If you find that arousing, I can help you onward with more of that. Hit me up. I have a tendency to destroy borderlines.


Be careful Midwinter :wink: Biggirl’s favorite pastimes include; mailing evidence of infidelity to her SO’s house for his wife to see, texting long, manipulative messages to her exes after they move on, and arguing with strangers on the internet for replying to her posts. She also enjoys emotional projection, and telling you what to do while also telling you that you are abusive and paternalistic for “telling her what to do.”
“The best way to escape reality without running, is smiling even though, it is obviously fake.”

Devil’s Little Sister
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Re: NPD/BPD Affair Partners

Postby Midwinter » Wed Nov 29, 2017 10:45 pm

Hebi wrote:
Biggirlscry wrote:
SLAM! Oh my, LOL.... like an innocent bird entering the lion's den looking for succour only to be ruthlessly swatted and tossed out unceremoniously. One wonders if the OP's BF is truly NPD that she could imagine finding warmth and empathy here.... ;)

I must admit however that I found the whole exchange highly amusing and quintessential..... and oddly arousing. But nevermind, that is just my irrational addictive attraction for pwNPD that has lead to the toxic devastion of a litany of past slaughtered relationships that strangely keep coming back round again for another row on the battlefield. Oh the passion and bloodlust of the toxic relationship... isn't obsessive love grand? ;)


Thanks for sharing. I don’t think OP was lookin for a reply from you though, sorry.

-- Wed Nov 29, 2017 3:24 pm --

Midwinter wrote:
If you find that arousing, I can help you onward with more of that. Hit me up. I have a tendency to destroy borderlines.


Be careful Midwinter :wink: Biggirl’s favorite pastimes include; mailing evidence of infidelity to her SO’s house for his wife to see, texting long, manipulative messages to her exes after they move on, and arguing with strangers on the internet for replying to her posts. She also enjoys emotional projection, and telling you what to do while also telling you that you are abusive and paternalistic for “telling her what to do.”


Sounds lovely.
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Re: NPD/BPD Affair Partners

Postby dazn153 » Wed Nov 29, 2017 11:00 pm

I was involved with a BPD woman. I am diagnosed NPD. She may be diagnosed herself, but never stated it, but having met many BPD people through my therapy sessions, I can conclude that she was BPD.

BPD + NPD dance is powerful. I would recommend reading this: http://gettinbetter.com/dance.html

You can potentially ruin his life, money, and more. If you want to be a better person, I would avoid this relationship. If you want to "YOLO" it and destroy his family and pass on toxicity to the next generation in which the dance repeats itself with potential suicide, etc., then by all means, go ahead. It's your life.
Diagnosed partially of each: NPD, BPD, Bipolar 2, OCPD, OCD
Psych Ward: 7 days ER: 2x No self-harm + In psychiatric treatment
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Re: NPD/BPD Affair Partners

Postby shanzeek » Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:23 am

@biggirlscry, I like the subtlety of colour and meaning in your signature.

-- Thu Nov 30, 2017 4:26 am --

beesknees wrote: Is it possible that the seemingly self aware conversations are just more NPD lies so that he can stay married and still have me?


I think you answered your own question.
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Re: NPD/BPD Affair Partners

Postby Biggirlscry » Fri Dec 01, 2017 7:17 pm

Midwinter wrote:If you find that arousing, I can help you onward with more of that. Hit me up. I have a tendency to destroy borderlines.



@ Midwinter LOL.... I would be greatly disappointed if you didn't. That D/s sadomasochistic dynamic is essential for the attraction and the explosive sex, and precisely why I like it so much .... of course as @Hebi has so vindictively noted, I am not without my own means of retribution.... not that I am proud of that, but it is the toxicity of the relationship that seems to bring out the worst in both.

So @beesknees I have experienced these relationship dynamics and it is equally the most intense, arousing and passionate connection I have ever experienced and also the most toxic. I don't have any advice as I am still dealing with my own but the addictive quality of it makes it very challenging to turn down so don't denigrate yourself for going back, honestly it is part of the cycle and process I have found. I commisserate with your dilemma and hope you find a resolution that you need.

I suggest doing a search on here for BPD and NPD relationships as that provides a number of post results from the past in which both pwNPD and pwBPD have eloquently weighed in on their own experiences.... I did so and found it very helpful and enlightening.....
Diagnosed BPD, HPD traits, Anxiety, Crazy Bitch

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"Sweet as sugar, hard as ice, hurt me once I'll kill you twice." - Jeffree Star
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