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I HAVE munchausen's!!!!

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I HAVE munchausen's!!!!

Postby I HAVE MUNCHAUSEN'S » Sat Jan 16, 2010 8:15 am

Hi all,

I have a factitious disorder AND Munchausen's syndrome. I have been in many hospitals in multiple countries feigning illnesses etc. I have been put in jail for lying to the police to get to be in the victim role. It has ruined and totally encompassed my life. I am trying to beat this thing but it's not easy. I also want to raise awareness about this disease. So if anyone out there wants information or if you also suffer from it and want to share/talk, please please write me. I know I can help. It's hard admitting you have this because you run the risk of never being able to get away with it again. That's scary for people like me because getting into hospitals is a coping mechanism for life; one where you know you are doing it but can't control it. Hard to believe? Yes! Hard to understand? Yes! I know but it is that way. It's almost like an addiction. Someone who does heroin, knows they are doing heroin and that it's not good for them but they find it hard to stop. Anyway, enough for now! Come talk to me!!!
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Re: I HAVE munchausen's!!!!

Postby Chucky » Sat Jan 16, 2010 10:10 pm

Hi,

It's good that you at least know you have this problem, but now that you've accepted it, I want to ask you if you're prepared to actually try to get 'better' by going to a doctor about it? If you can admit to us here that you have Munchausen's, then you can admit it to others too, including doctors.

Kevin
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Re: I HAVE munchausen's!!!!

Postby I HAVE MUNCHAUSEN'S » Sun Jan 17, 2010 6:37 am

Chucky,

I am way ahead of you.I am seeing multiple forensic psychiatrists and going for all the neuro-psych tests that they want to do to try and not only figure out my brain but learn about this rare disorder. Most people don't cooperate nevermind admit to it so they are taking advantage of my willingness. I also let it be announced in court so the world can know. I don't care about secrecy anymore. Only one other person documented in the world has been cured of this and I plan on being # 2. But that's why I am here. I am here to talk willing and openly about it as well as offer understanding and support to those who still struggle with it because God, if there is one thing I understand, it's the emptiness that is felt, the yearning that's the driving force, and the sadness of the condemnation that goes along with it.
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Re: I HAVE munchausen's!!!!

Postby Chucky » Sun Jan 17, 2010 9:11 pm

That's great to hear, I HAVE MUNCHAUSEN'S. Getting rid of the secrecy 'veil' is something that I have noticed bringing positive results too. I try my best not to keep anything a secret anymore, as it really is best to talk about problems (to the right people though). I imagine there have been more who have been c'ured' of Munchausen's though. Where did you hear about this one other person (who had been cured)?

Kevin
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Re: I HAVE munchausen's!!!!

Postby I HAVE MUNCHAUSEN'S » Sun Jan 17, 2010 9:44 pm

Kevin, (sorry I called you "chucky" last post)

I heard about her through Dr. Feldman's website and I think she was written about in one of his books. Over the years when I was trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with me, I bought all his books. Then my friend wrote him asking for help (she has a factitious disorder too) and all he did was publish our story in one of his books. He is supposed to be one of the leading experts on this disease. I am so glad to hear that you are being open about it too. People don't realize how big a deal that is considering it seems to be exactly against the nature of someone who has Munchausen's because then it cuts off the ability to get into a hospital which can be scary. Right? Anyway, I haven't done anything in 14 months and I am proud of that.

www.munchausen.com I think is Marc Feldman's website. He works in Alabama.
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Re: I HAVE munchausen's!!!!

Postby Chucky » Sun Jan 17, 2010 9:58 pm

Hi,

I don't have Munchausen's Syndrome but I have other things that I have avoided keeping in secrecy. To some extent, I know what goes through the mind of someone with Munchausen's though, but I can control the urges that would lead me that way. Thank you for the link and such. It really seems like you have had the benefit of dealing with a respected doctor. Not all are so lucky.

Kevin
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Re: I HAVE munchausen's!!!!

Postby CarmenRose23 » Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:30 pm

Ya, I’ve seen Marc Site…

So you are working with him? I’m confused… I thought you said he just published your story.

God that can be FRUSTRATING! I’ve contacted Louisa Lasher who seems to be one of the leading experts on Munchausen By Proxy, which I believe my Mother may be suffering from… it seems like either that or she’s a Sociopath… Perhaps By proxy is what happens when a sociopath develops Munchausen… Louisa Lasher said, “Certainly suspicion indicators are there for your being the victim of MBP - but without my conducting the specialized investigation and determination process necessary.” But that at least is something.

I have a question I would like to ask you…

Do you ever have the temptation to harm your pets or someone in your care instead of yourself?

My Guess is that in a Non sociopath that would beyond imagining, but at the same time I think that the drive behind Munchausen could be too strong to resist and if you were FORCED to move to a victim instead of acting on yourself it might end up being very tempting. Please let me know what you think and feel on this matter…

Also THANK YOU… what you are doing is VERY brave, and it is a truly heroic thing… knowing what you are going through will help lots of people.
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Re: I HAVE munchausen's!!!!

Postby I HAVE MUNCHAUSEN'S » Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:15 pm

Hi CarmenRose23,

Just to clarify, I'm not working with Dr. Feldman. Years ago my friend wrote to him for help. He never responded but then when his next book came out, our story was in there. He had changed our names but it was our story. I am not impressed with him. He also made assumptions about us that weren't true based on one letter, never treating us. But that's old news.

I have never had any temptation to harm pets, children or anyone else. I am exactly the opposite. I had a pet for 10 years before having to give him up because I was moving and the move for him at his age would have been too stressful. I have no children of my own but I have babysat, even as a volunteer for single moms, and have never hurt or had any urge to hurt a child. In fact, I find that having someone or a pet to depend on me prevents me from going out an faking things because I can't leave them or in the case of pets, I didn't have anyone to come over and feed them so I couldn't travel far away to another hospital or even locally have an extended hospital admission.

I have so much guilt about the harm I have caused people with my faking things that I bend over backwards, often sacrificing myself, almost to make up for it.

Now that's me. Other people are different.I have heard of cases where someone with Munchausen's has graduated to hurting their children. I understand the need to be in the victim and the heroic role but in me it just manifests differently. For example, my ideal career would be search and rescue or the like but now that I have been deemed mentally ill, there is no chance of anything like that.

I haven't read your other posts, so I am not familiar with your story. I have never heard of Louisa Lasher but I am going to look her up. No doctor will commit to anything on this subject readily. Everyone says, "it's possible so and so has it BUT......" At least that's my experience. So her comment is typical. You're right at least it's something.

Let me know if I can help more. What is your goal? To determine if you are a victim of MBP? I understand the NEED aspect of someone who does assume the victim role in this way, if anything.

All kind wishes!
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Re: I HAVE munchausen's!!!!

Postby CarmenRose23 » Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:54 pm

I am not so much looking for conformation rather I am looking for ways to protect my family from my Mom… So I am really looking to understand what is going through her head.

But I know that I am either a Survivor of a Sociopath or a Survivor of MPBS.

See I think that the Typical Munchausen (if there is such a thing) remains self abusive… to me it doesn’t seem logical to make the leap from poisoning yourself to poisoning others… now going the other way I could see but only out of last resort. Of course people have done it… but it always makes me wonder if the drive was always to hurt someone else but the opportunity wasn’t present until the by proxy symptoms emerged.

Do you have any idea?

You know dear I did Search and Rescue when I got over Borderline, You CAN become search and rescue once you get well.

My Mom has always strived to assume the hero role.
You seem as different from my mom as night and day... and trust me that is a good thing
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Re: I HAVE munchausen's!!!!

Postby MarieJ » Thu Dec 06, 2012 11:14 pm

Hello All,

I have recently being diagnosed by my psychiatrist with having Munchausen Syndrome. I suffered abuse as a child and learned that if I had a physical ailment, I would receive attention. That developed over the years and only manifested itself with romantic relationships. It got to the point where I was even planning ahead what I would do next. "Acting out" ranged from faking heart palpitations to faking dangerous sleep walking to faking passing out. I even have almost 10 specialists that I don't need! On top of the affection that I received, it was also a rush.. It's hard to explain.

I endured severe condemnation and wanted to punish myself because I hated myself for deceiving those close to me. I felt like I must be a horrible person or that I must be crazy, and I thought I was the only one who had this addiction. I literally couldn't stop. I found that confessing my "dark secret" was a huge key because then I was exposed and the option of faking wasn't there anymore (which, yes, is VERY scary). I'm so glad I found this forum because I don't feel so alone anymore.

Currently, I'm still in therapy and we're discussing treatment options. I'm no where near close to being cured or past this, but my acting out has lessened considerably.
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