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Hospital stays and munchausen by internet

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Hospital stays and munchausen by internet

Postby DWish97 » Sat Feb 18, 2017 9:23 am

It's been five years. I still do this and it gets worse. In my opinion munchausen syndrome is a chronic spectrum disorder, that gets worse as time progresses. It's just not fun anymore, and I feel so paranoid. I used to be so smart, I knew everything about my fake illnesses but now I can't remember any of it, i just keep pressing on without knowing any of my $#%^ and I just don't know how much longer I can do this. I want to be sick, I want to make these lies a truth and get what I deserve. I just want this SO badly... It doesn't make sense. Why would I want this? I complained when I had bronchitis, yet I desperately want cancer or some other equally horrific disease. This isnt fun anymore. It's not, its way past that stage. Now it's just torture and paranoia. I'm so scared that I'm going to get caught, and I know I will if I keep this up any longer. I've already tried many times to get help, nobody believes me... figures. I tell a professional "I have munchausen syndrome please help me..." they say "you have borderline personality disorder" I believe that maybe I do, but I have munchausen tendencies and nobody wants to acknowledge that. I go to my therapy sessions, it's all just talk about my mood. I want to talk about this sick thing that I do. Just for once. I want someone to believe me when I tell them the truth. Instead they just believe the lies. It makes me so upset. I believe that I belong locked up in the hospital, I cannot function in the real world. This obsession with being sick just takes over. My heart is so done with this... I just wish my mind would agree.
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Re: Hospital stays and munchausen by internet

Postby Veritatem » Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:23 pm

I'm sorry your so lost with this. Have you read Dr Feldman's books? If you haven't you should as it may give you a better understanding of yourself

I'm sorry you are not getting help. That is really not acceptable. I understand your need to talk about what you are doing. Could you ask for a new therapist?

Good luck and please know your not alone. This will stop one day when you can replace your needs with other healthier things.
Take care x
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Re: Hospital stays and munchausen by internet

Postby Veritatem » Mon Mar 06, 2017 7:34 am

Dwish97
P.s I hear you.....and I believe you
Do you want to expand on here?

This thing got worse for me in my mid teens -early twenties. Spent approx 9 consecutive years in total mostly in hospital. In and out constantly. Medical and psyc.
I wish I could have altered it earlier. So much lost time.

What worked was findng distractions, getting busy. For me it was finding something that gave me purpose, making a positive contribution to the world by helping others starting with finishing my education.

For you it may be different. What makes you light up inside? What makes you feel alive or good? What are you goid at? Do more of that x
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Re: Hospital stays and munchausen by internet

Postby Selfless74 » Thu Jan 04, 2018 6:29 am

A year.

But when I think about being locked up in a hospital somewhere, I think more about that I probably should be in prison somewhere.

By the grace of God, I am not.

Work and going back to school.

It does get better. There is always hope.
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Diagnosis: Factitious Disorder, recovered (1 year on 1/17/2018)
PTSD

Medication: Lamotrigine (100mg twice daily)-indication, nerve pain, helps mood too.
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Re: Hospital stays and munchausen by internet

Postby Selfless74 » Sun Jan 07, 2018 1:57 am

Admitting this one is the hardest thing you will ever do. To be able to come out and say this is what you need help with and to have some guy argue with you? Makes them a fool.

When I finally began to work a program, that was when my life really began to change.

Borderline Personality? So? Guess what? I have a borderline personality. In the Emotions Anonymous videos on YouTube, there is a gentlemen who has BPD, and that is how he prefers to treat his mental health issues. And more power to him!!! Your recovery is free.

Everyone has always been like, "You need a shrink." My father did even. Problem is when you've always had one on retainer, you and the friends and family are reluctant to believe you can live better without one when this is also supposed to be something (therapy) that you learn to live without for periods of time.

When my father brought it up last time, I nipped it in the bud. As a recovering alcoholic, I put it to him in terms he gets. "Bunch of pills. Too much money in the doctor's pocket."' When that stuff will stunt your emotional growth?

Subject as far as he sees it? Subject is now closed.

Your recovery program is what saves you from this. To me, the antidepressants and Xanax you can get from a shrink, don't help-they do not treat honesty. Only this does.

BPD is an emotional dysregulation issue. Anything you do with a 12 step program is going to help that too.

Because it takes a bigger person to rise above it, and find a way to help yourself. Turned me into a productive member of society. I'll take that.
Selfless74

Diagnosis: Factitious Disorder, recovered (1 year on 1/17/2018)
PTSD

Medication: Lamotrigine (100mg twice daily)-indication, nerve pain, helps mood too.
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Re: Hospital stays and munchausen by internet

Postby Selfless74 » Mon Jan 08, 2018 12:58 pm

They say that the allergy (in the case of AA, alcohol) is the one thing you crave that changes you. For some, alcohol, others, drugs, I guess in some way of putting it-social media, and any chemical that doesn't change you negatively.

In self damaging behavior, the odd thing is that you feel better after it is over. Psychologically.

If I could explain it or change it, like anything else, I would do it.
Selfless74

Diagnosis: Factitious Disorder, recovered (1 year on 1/17/2018)
PTSD

Medication: Lamotrigine (100mg twice daily)-indication, nerve pain, helps mood too.
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