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No attraction. Am I doomed?

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No attraction. Am I doomed?

Postby antgly » Sat Aug 21, 2010 11:46 pm

I'm a 19 years old male. From 12 years old, I've been attracted to guys. However, for about a couple of months now, I've felt no attraction for anyone in real life though I still manage to jk off but it's very weak and to crushes from the past in my mind. My erections are very weak as well.

I've noticed that I'm not eating well (135 lbs.) especially as well as I used to. All of this went downhill after I came out to my parents. I still sense attraction but it's very weak in comparison to the past. Also ever since that happened I've been feeling constant fatigue and headaches. Also I don't exercise much.

Please don't doom me by telling me that I'm turning asexual or something like that. I hope that there is something that I can do to get it all back.
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Re: No attraction. Am I doomed?

Postby SmallTalkRed » Tue Aug 24, 2010 2:39 am

hi antgly,
Please know that it is OK to be yourself. Many Adults live joyful lives without their
parental blessings. Don't be so hard on yourself. Accept who you are now. Life brings
many changes.
Did your parents accept you w/unconditional love? If that is a true statement look to them
for support emotionally.
If they did not, you are going to have to rely on your strength to see yourself through this.
It is better to be yourself always.

Red



antgly wrote:I'm a 19 years old male. From 12 years old, I've been attracted to guys. However, for about a couple of months now, I've felt no attraction for anyone in real life though I still manage to jk off but it's very weak and to crushes from the past in my mind. My erections are very weak as well.

I've noticed that I'm not eating well (135 lbs.) especially as well as I used to. All of this went downhill after I came out to my parents. I still sense attraction but it's very weak in comparison to the past. Also ever since that happened I've been feeling constant fatigue and headaches. Also I don't exercise much.

Please don't doom me by telling me that I'm turning asexual or something like that. I hope that there is something that I can do to get it all back.
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Re: No attraction. Am I doomed?

Postby myke » Wed Sep 01, 2010 3:54 pm

that;s normal
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Re: No attraction. Am I doomed?

Postby MAc09 » Thu Nov 25, 2010 10:10 am

It's up to you to decide if you want to identify as asexual. Not wanting to go down on a girl doesn't mean you are though, asexuality is about sexual attraction (and I understand that that is quite a difficult thing to define).

You asked if any sexuals didn't like the idea of sex then changed their minds. I would say probably most did as teenagers at least. Personally, I never thought I would go down on a girl, but when I was in a long term relationship and we were getting more sexual it was something I wanted to do. But there are some things that I never thought I'd want to do and I never have.

Also, it's okay not to want to go down on a girl and still identify as sexual. Everybody has things they wouldn't do sexually so if this is the main thing that's bothering you, don't worry about it. Your girlfriend will have things she would never even try (however bizarre) and so she should respect that if oral sex is one of the things you wouldn't do. I know it's a scary thought, but I would suggest figuring out exactly what you want, what you could do and what is out of the question then, if it's appropriate, talk to your girlfriend. You don't have to mention asexuality.

Good luck :)
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