Before I say anything, I feel its important to provide some background detail. I tend to be more emotionally dependent on my friends & others than the average person, and my happiness & optimism stem primarily from close ones. Unfortunately, I'm also what some would describe as a "hopeless romantic," and as a result, I'm always hopeful that I meet, I guess, "the one." When I feel down, I usually think of the dream girl, and I remind myself that there's someone out there who is like that.
As a result, a lot of my motivation also stems from this dream girl. And I believe therein lies the biggest problem. Sometimes I download & save pictures of anime girls or real life girls who possess qualities similar to those I look for in my dream girl, whether physical or personality-wise. I use these photos to, essentially, remind myself of that dream girl. These photos are all obtained through the Internet.
Please note, when I look at these photos, the main thing I focus on is not the actual women in the photos; it is the dream girl whom the subjects of the images remind me of. My goal here is not to derive sexual pleasure, nor is it to stalk or obsess over the women in them; it's solely to help myself feel hopeful about "the one & only," through which I feel motivated to try harder in life.
However, I've often wondered if this kind of behavior would be considered off, perverted, or obsessive. I haven't really come up with a conclusive answer so far. I'm sorry if this offends anyone or this behavior is considered perverse. Any thoughts / suggestions?
Thanks.