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Encouragement of a suicide

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Encouragement of a suicide

Postby McNulty » Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:42 pm

I knew this girl some years back. I'm not quite sure what her deal is. She can be a VERY sweet, caring, and affectionate person. But, underneath the surface lies something else. She has a vicious dark side. Mainly because she has a short fuse. So, over seven years ago, her and I had a BAD falling out which resulted in her decking me, and somehow HER obtaining a restraining order against ME! How she did that remains a mystery to this day. I got really low and depressed about it. For so long, I thought that that whole thing was all my fault. Back in 2014, I attempted to patch things up. It had been five years at that point, so I figured that maybe, just maybe we could reconcile. Well, I couldn't have been more wrong. She was STILL raging mad at me for something that had happened five years earlier. She almost punched me again. So, with the flowers that I was going to give her in my hand, I ran away from her! I ended up giving the flowers to some random young lady who was walking across the mall parking lot.

Well, fast forward to today. That same crazy girl COULD possibly be in some legal trouble for encouraging a suicide. Although the probability of any legal consequences is low. What happened was, at some point over the last few years, she met this guy who, sadly, is now no longer with us. She CLAIMS that they were "just friends". I have my doubts about that. At any rate, the two of them had a nasty fallout. Like me, this guy got VERY low and depressed. Like me, he even shouldered ALL of the blame. And, like me, she absolutely REFUSED forgiveness. She said that she didn't want to try and work it out. Apparently, she is NOT a fan of reconciliation. Well, this poor guy took it hard. REALLY hard. He did everything in his power just to TRY and get her to talk to him, even if only for a moment. She refused. So, he asked for just one more thing from her. A goodbye hug. He said that if she would just give him a hug and they could say goodbye on more civil terms, then he would be done with the whole thing and he would not try to contact her again. She said no. His response was that he would take his own life if she declined his request. Her response to him was "DO IT!!! DO THIS WORLD A FAVOR AND GET OUT OF IT FOREVER!!".

He was told that fall outs with her were very common. I mean, SHE seems to be the common denominator in every instance. But, the poor guy thought he could fix things with her. She was told that it did not sound like he was playing around and that a few minutes of her time to go and give him a hug and say goodbye on civil terms could save his life. And, of course, she still said no. So, he went home and took his life. Suicide is horrid anyway. But, it is REALLY sickening that a guy who was only 39 years old is dead now because of a nasty individual. Perhaps he loved her, had deep feelings for her, that sort of thing. It's heartbreaking. I heard that the girl broke down and cried when she heard what had happened, which is WAY out of character for her. Maybe this will be the wake up call that she needs. Who knows. At any rate, she must now live with this. Now, and from now on.

The guy's family is looking into going after her legally. They think that she is liable because he told her that he would kill himself and not only did she not alert someone, but she actually encouraged him to do it. Personally, I would LOVE to see her have to pay in some way. But, that will never happen. In the eyes of the law, failing to prevent a suicide is not a crime. Now, his family COULD be on to something with the fact that she actually encouraged him to do it. There is recorded audio of her saying it. But, even if it did make it court, all she would have to do is say that her hot temper got the best of her. I just think that it is sad that there are people out there who will not only treat suicide with such indifference, but actually tell someone who is having suicidal thoughts to "do it". She claims the he needed help. That is true. He did. But, so does she. But that will never happen. She is too arrogant to seek help.
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Re: Encouragement of a suicide

Postby PerplexedMan » Tue Feb 28, 2017 11:08 am

What a despicable person. Who does she think she is?
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Re: Encouragement of a suicide

Postby McNulty » Mon Mar 06, 2017 1:30 am

She is despicable. That is a good word for her. She won't stop and look in the mirror. She never once thought that maybe the problem is her. I count myself lucky that I got away from her when I did. All it takes is one argument with her and everything goes haywire and it stays that way. I have never seen such a grudge holder. Why live in a state of constant bitterness over petty crap that happened year and years ago? She is a dangerous individual. She lures people in with her charm. Things seem okay for awhile. Then, slowly the true person comes out. She is narcissistic as well as an emotional abuser. Looking back, she abused me more than I realized. Now, she has gone and cost someone their life. It's so tragic. I hope the guy's family gets some justice. They are pursuing it pretty heavy.
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Re: Encouragement of a suicide

Postby saila » Mon Mar 06, 2017 2:00 am

How did you obtain these informations, of intimate happenings between other folks? The presentation sounds more like that of an omniscient narrator in a novel.

Who made the recording? The guy himself? So he killed himself, after going with a recorder to the woman awaiting or provocing (?) aggression, and to then damage her by killing himself? What person would perform this action?!

Or is an eavesdropper involved in this story, who didn't bother to help the guy, to the ends of damaging the woman? What type of person would perform this sort of action?

I am not yet sure who is acting in the story, and who might be victim.
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Re: Encouragement of a suicide

Postby McNulty » Mon Mar 06, 2017 1:51 pm

I'm just going by what someone told me. Someone contacted me and said "hey, do you remember this person?". Of course, they said the girl's name. Anyway, they go on to tell me what happened. The guy is dead. I read the obituary. Given her history, I'm not surprised that it is being stated that she encouraged him to commit suicide. Is there REALLY a recording? Well, who knows. That does seem a bit far fetched. However, (according to what I heard) he stated in the note that he left that he recorded her encouraging him to commit suicide. Again, I am going by what I was told. And, keep in mind, I was once involved with this female, so I know her and her callous nature.
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Re: Encouragement of a suicide

Postby saila » Mon Mar 06, 2017 3:57 pm

Even if your account and judgment is near accurate.

You are still extremely biased because of personal involvement. And there is to much hearsay and chinese whispers involved.

Fact is also, that a healthy person should not commit suicide because the partner is a prick or somehow abusive or aggressive.

And you should have gotten over this long since theoretically/ideally.

If you think it is correct and useful, you can still annunciate stuff, or offer yourself as a witness. But you should be sure of the facts and yourself before doing such a step.
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Re: Encouragement of a suicide

Postby McNulty » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:30 pm

You mean I should have gotten over whatever issues I had with the female? Oh, I have. It's her that never got over it. I just recalled the fall out that we had when I heard about this whole situation with this man's suicide. I'm not still angry at her. But she is still angry at me. But, this is how it goes with her. Anyone in a friendship with her only has one time to argue with her, and the friendship never recovers. Should anything come from of this whole ordeal, I'm not sure I could be a witness, due to having been involved with her at one time.
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Re: Encouragement of a suicide

Postby saila » Mon Mar 06, 2017 6:16 pm

But you still seem to require reconsiliation.

And that would be the best way, also. But there are loads of unresolved conflicts with unconciliatory status, that are just cut-off. I consider that normal.

If someone else still holds a grudge against you that is somewhat uncomforting. But if you are open to fair settlement, but the othe isn't, that is not your problem. And there is only the way of bearing this tension, or forgetting it. Going there and demand consiliation from someone who doesn't want to I consider a violation of the free will of another individual. But also If she is unable, then it makes no sense.

Another thing is, that we have your account. In conflict settlement it is entirely required having the opposite party to make an account of her view.

Without that, no complete picture can be made, hence it can not be expected to come to a final conclusion from at least my point of view.
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Re: Encouragement of a suicide

Postby McNulty » Mon Mar 06, 2017 7:45 pm

You make some excellent points. Honestly, I would LOVE to reconcile with her. It's weird, because not too long ago, late last year, actually, it LOOKED for a moment like we MAY finally reconcile. Just to see what would happen, I sent her a friend request on Facebook and she accepted it. So, to be 100% certain, I sent her a message (after she accepted my request) and asked her if this meant that maybe we could work towards some type of settlement. She responds, "all is good". Ok, so I take that to mean that the whole ugly incidents from years ago was finally behind us. Well, that would not be the case. It turned out that she still holds the grudge. So, naturally, I was (and still am) confused. Why did she accept my request to begin with? And on top of that, we still remain on each other's friends lists. In fact, she has even shared a few videos on my page. Yet, she is still mad at me but she has not removed me nor blocked me. It's weird.

You are correct, it is quite unnerving knowing that someone still holds a really old grudge against me. Especially knowing that she is hot tempered.
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Re: Encouragement of a suicide

Postby saila » Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:02 pm

I know a case of a divorces pair with grown-up children. It took them more than a decade until they could exchange some words and meet at burials, etc.

Then they met some times visiting their grand children.

Tensions broke up, and quarreling aros. Once again.

Simpley because there are structures in each others personality, that you don't get a long with. It sickens you, you don't know how to cope. You don't speak the same language.

An maybe classical approximation - delimitation conflict. In that case the man has somehow wish for reconciliation. At the same time he shows patterns in communication that can only been interpreted as aggression by that woman. Even if some of the analysis of the ex-husband are correct.

What to do?

Going seperated ways. For heavens sake. Leave it be.

If she accepted you as a facebook friend, be glad. You ain't going to get more. Surrender to the fact. Give up.
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