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What is wrong with me ?

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What is wrong with me ?

Postby mcke098 » Mon Feb 08, 2016 5:12 am

Hello everyone , I just suscribed here.. I'm not sure if I am posting on the right section and I am sorry for that. I am having some problem and I dont know what's wrong with me and I live in a small town so if I go see a doctor he might know me and I dont want him to know.. Before doing that I would like to see if you guys can help me. So , in general im a person filled with anger and hatred, I dont know why.. I hate going in public , even when my friends are talking to me I ignore them for a while .. then I go out with them and it comes back.. I start hating seeing people and I want to stay alone. Going in public make me angry and sad , I dont know why but this is the way I feel. I want to be alone ! Also , when im alone the only thing that make me feel good is listening to weird thing on youtube.. Like : Dark instrumental music , dark ambient music.. I once did listen to video of people screaming of pain recorded in psycho hospital and I felt good and liked that.. Everything related to creepy , serial killer music or dark things I feel alive and is the only thing that make me feel good. I listen to that kind of thing which is not normal.. I dont know what's happening to me.. I have a really good life , I live at my parents house and buy me pretty much everything I need and they treat me very good. I am 18yr and im like that since 16.. I have ALOT of friends , I never got bullied.. I sometime look myself in the mirror for 30 min and I dont even know who I am , I don't know whats going on help I really need it !
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Re: What is wrong with me ?

Postby Taylor23 » Fri Feb 19, 2016 5:02 pm

Your hobbies are just different that most. There is nothing wrong with you in fact I was very similar to you when I was 18. I loved researching serial killings and mass murders. I eventually went to college and got a bachelors in criminal justice and now i'm working to become a forensic scientist.
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Re: What is wrong with me ?

Postby FreakOfTheDemonDoll » Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:23 am

mcke098 wrote:Hello everyone , I just suscribed here.. I'm not sure if I am posting on the right section and I am sorry for that. I am having some problem and I dont know what's wrong with me and I live in a small town so if I go see a doctor he might know me and I dont want him to know.. Before doing that I would like to see if you guys can help me. So , in general im a person filled with anger and hatred, I dont know why.. I hate going in public , even when my friends are talking to me I ignore them for a while .. then I go out with them and it comes back.. I start hating seeing people and I want to stay alone. Going in public make me angry and sad , I dont know why but this is the way I feel. I want to be alone ! Also , when im alone the only thing that make me feel good is listening to weird thing on youtube.. Like : Dark instrumental music , dark ambient music.. I once did listen to video of people screaming of pain recorded in psycho hospital and I felt good and liked that.. Everything related to creepy , serial killer music or dark things I feel alive and is the only thing that make me feel good. I listen to that kind of thing which is not normal.. I dont know what's happening to me.. I have a really good life , I live at my parents house and buy me pretty much everything I need and they treat me very good. I am 18yr and im like that since 16.. I have ALOT of friends , I never got bullied.. I sometime look myself in the mirror for 30 min and I dont even know who I am , I don't know whats going on help I really need it !

You sound like me only I have been through bullying and life struggles and mental issues.
I've somewhat embraced my darkness but I draw limits and try to keep it on the down low.
The only thing about me is I don't have any friends, like in a literal sense, no real life or online, I dropped out and still live with my parents, I live a secret life.
I'm a mentally disturbed man looking for other mentally disturbed people.
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Re: What is wrong with me ?

Postby darsymiller » Mon May 22, 2017 4:14 pm

You have special hobbies, but everyhing is ok with you.I remember myself when I was 19...but now i am successful tutor!
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