This seems to be the area to put this down... but, I hope you just understand my predicament.
When I was young, the guys who were little were very clickish... so much so, that if I called on the phone for a friend of mine to play, if someone called just after me, I would leave the house, be on my driveway and see my best friend running down the sidewalk running away from me to be with someone else, hoping I did not see him.
These were my best friends.
I would come to this persons house, and her mother told me that he went out already. She would ask me, "Why wasn't he with you?" Oh, she was mad. But, I knew a BETTER friend called... so...
That was that!
At night it was different. No one was lkeft out... I was called upon. I was a body. Someone who could make night fun happen... and I enjoyed it... and was out usually before anyone asked me to... because there were friends around.
During the day? I might be called for a game of baseballl... last one picked... no one showing me how to be better at that game...
So, guys... that's the way it is, right? Jock, burnout, geek... or worse nothing.
Nothing meant just that. If you went to a middle school or highschool dance, you were a wallflower, those who bided their times near the walls at the dance making fun of kids, but wishing we had the courage to ask some to dance without a bunch of bullies crowding in making you as fool?
But, me? I was a special wall flower! I did not need to be at dances or social gatherings becasue I was always there unseen... because my type of wallflower grew inside the walls.
These are the guys who eat there lunch so fast to get out of the lunch room, and if in highschool, go to the library and hide somewhere. We knew that school better than any other kid. If someone said that the light switch between 203 and the janitors closet was going bad... we knew it was. We knew everything abouyt that school for survival!
Did we graduate? Yes!
College... yes...
Except have you ever wanted to go out with a girl though your soul aches to do so... and you feel not good enough... so you fantasize to music... and just dream of the perfect relationship where you are the prince.
You find a professor who seems to be a good friend... too good... and creates something that will forever haunt you to these days for the rest of your life... a sexual attack? Coming from no where... and scares your life forever?
That is as far as I am going on the testosterone thread of a bunch guys. This stuff is never told about... it's so tabboo that the very mention is a destructive entity. This stuff belongs on the sexual abuse forum that women actually welcome men into it. All I have found in men's issues is just... never that.
Delete this whole thing... I don't really care... really...