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How can I learn to be a man?

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Re: How can I learn to be a man?

Postby ebo » Fri Dec 04, 2015 4:49 pm

I see it this way, You may feel like ambiguous because brought up by a mom instead of dad, and the feelings attributed by their behavior tends to color one's own feelings. Manny Boy, I can relate, kids can takeadvantageby aligning themselves with mom, and start their own program of finding a missing link.

I have been in a deceptive relationship , for a long time, been also homeless for a while, because my wife kicked me out, due to moving in with her boyfriend, while they tried to manage their business together. When the business failed, her mom brought her over, and begged for me to take her back.

I love her, always did, and we got back together, so my homelessness ceased, continuing to work, though, until her mom kicked us out from het placed, caused she came back to me, because her mom did not like me.

My kids always take her side, and take swipes at me whenever there is an opportunity, because they know I am 'nice'.

Now we are having big problems again, she has a new boyfriend, who promises her the world, knowing she had a new business and money. He went to Oxford U. And I think he is an opportunist.

I think once her money is gone, with his help, she will again beg to be taken back because, I have promised her unconditional love.

My oldest son likes me, because I babysit his kids,but I hope there is more to our relationship.

Being a man is it easy, if you try to not reoeat a pattern of abuse in your life, and Your dad abandoned You, at an early age. But still, sometimes, you need to man up to whatever, despite not having been prepared for it.
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Re: How can I learn to be a man?

Postby Neverfeelaccepted » Fri Dec 13, 2019 10:22 am

There is no such thing as being a man.
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Re: How can I learn to be a man?

Postby PrivateConstruct » Wed Sep 02, 2020 1:39 am

You'll probably find as many definitions of what being a man is as the number of people you ask, all of them will be different in some way and lots of them will conflict with each other. Pick one you like and which sounds a bit like you, have a little daydream about what a good life for him would look like, then go and play with it.

You're a clever guy but conflicted. At 25 I was conflicted and all my three boys were all conflicted at this age and still are to some extent - that's life. They all handle it in their own way and all are successful up to a point.

I've been a foster carer for 20 years and I've found that given time and security most kids will find the resources within themselves to become reasonably well balanced people.
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