Wally58 wrote:I am so sorry that you are going through this on a weekend.
You aren't alone with this. I hate it when people judge me too. I have dreaded having to answer for (stupid) mistakes I have made. I try to tell myself that I am a better person than that and it will soon be put behind me.
When ever I have a new regret, I feel all the old regrets that I've ever had hit me all at once. I just wanted to get the meeting over-with as the waiting was making for crazy-thinking.
Be honest with yourself and to human resources. Tell them exactly how and why it happened.
"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment."
Best of luck to you, Manners.

@Wally58, the way you've said this tells me you know the feeling. I do too.
All too well.
Manners73 wrote:Thank you Wally.
It did kind of put me back to how I used to feel when I was in trouble with the police or something when I was younger. I've really tried so hard over the years to clean up my act and be a grown up person and take responsibility and I've really struggled with it.
...
This is
exactly how I feel whenever I disappoint myself and behave in ways I thought I'd overcome. I loathe laziness and incompetence and cannot hide contempt for egomaniacs. And
my attitude always gets me in trouble. Next thing I know, I'm sitting in the Human Resources office. At every job.
As I type this, you probably know for sure one way or the other.
Regardless of how things went, please know that you are not alone in struggling to deal with arbitrary and illogical institutions.
Realize that
these institutions are neither logical nor fair. Above all,
they are self-perpetuating. They all want people who get the job done and who do not make waves. You are perfectly capable of prioritizing accordingly, whether at your current post or elsewhere.
You have overcome FAR worse things in life. You can do whatever it is you need to do next. You've made it this far, haven't you? No thing has taken you down yet. At this point, no outside thing can. Only your mind can and, when push comes to shove, you can take charge of that mischievous thing, too.
Your future is in your hands. Strong, good hands indeed.