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Im about to divorce my wife

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Im about to divorce my wife

Postby John7357 » Tue Nov 20, 2018 4:30 pm

Im about to divorce my wife and i need advice

Here is a situation:

Married 14 years, we have a child.
12 years we lived really well, no fights no problems, everything was great.

She cheated on me 2 years ago, one time. She was really sorry, told me she didn't know how it happened, that she loves me and so on...

We did not lived together after that. 6 month ago she begged me to come back, crying and all that... told me she loves me, she was really serious about it, i know her.

When i came back and we met, i felt like she didnt miss me, no time together, no sex. Within few days i fined out that she chatting with another guy. When i asked WTF? She told me its nothing and she will end it. After she got a job in another city and left for a month.

Last week i found out this:
He came to her for 2 days. I read they chat. She was telling him that she loves him, that he is the only man she wants. That she decided to leave me and marry him. And she told him that she thought she was pregnant but test showed negative.

I called her and said that its over, i want a divorce. I showed her their chat and asked her how could she do that to me? I loved her very much.

Her response was: I didnt want to hurt your feelings. I love you, i want to be with you. I made a mistake, i am very guilty. BUT!!! I didnt had sex with him!!!! Its just words and we broke up.

I was speechless, i said what about pregnancy? Its black on white - you wrote it!!! She denies having sex with him.

People please help me, am i crazy? I have a photo!!!

So here are the facts:

She was with him.
She was in hotel, i have a booking.
Selfie with him
Copy of her chat
They broke up, he left to another state

All things aside:
She loves me, im her only family and she will regret everything.
I love her and we had really good family.

Now she asked me mo meet and talk, she wants me to forgive her.

Here is what i need help with:

Should and how to forgive her? Will she respect me?
How to maker her admit that she had sex with him and what if she didnt?
How can i trust her?
How to know that she really sorry?
I haven't had sex in long time, she tells me she under stress, if we decide to stay together, i need to have sex regularly or i will find another woman. How can i make it a condition and not just words???

If i forgive her it will be only on my terms, how to talk to her to get right result?

Thanks for reading and I appreciate any advice
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Re: Im about to divorce my wife

Postby mf1438 » Wed Nov 21, 2018 1:07 am

Cut your losses. Find someone who will respect you and treat you like a decent human being.
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Re: Im about to divorce my wife

Postby Squeakyclean » Fri Mar 15, 2019 1:32 am

It sounds like you are a very good guy and a great catch. She continues to play games with you. I agree with cut your losses and move on. You deserve better.
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Re: Im about to divorce my wife

Postby BethleftRich » Sat Apr 27, 2019 10:28 pm

Hello, so sorry and I myself am going through a divorce now. My husband would not give once inch, refused to take any responsibility for his actions. We were together for 5 years and If I didn't leave, I would still be suffering mentally from his various abuses. Now I am in counseling each week and it helps. Good luck, I hope your wife comes clean and gets help for her infidelity issues. If your wife does this over and over, spare yourself the grief, and like others here said, move on. You will be doing yourself a favor in the long run. I realized the only person I can change is myself, not my husband, so Beth left Rich and is on the road to happiness once more! You can do this too, for yourself and your children.
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Re: Im about to divorce my wife

Postby GlibEpiphany » Wed Jul 31, 2019 7:10 am

Would love if you posted an update on what happened. My thoughts...
She definitely cheated you should try to get her to tell you why. If she won't come clean about her misdeads then she wasn't worth trusting in the first place. Once you have a big event like an affair it is usually a good time to beat out new "terms and conditions" for your relationship usually cause they will agree to whatever
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Re: Im about to divorce my wife

Postby Aries411 » Sun Aug 18, 2019 6:14 pm

I am a little late to the discussion, but here are my two cents..

Most of us have a line that should never be crossed and that is often at infidelity. I think the first time it happened, it is possible to patch things up as long as both parties are willing to work at it. As you said, there was no change from her. Afterwards, she continued hiding many things and this is only the things you found. They are probably many other things that are still hidden. I really believe that marriage is built on trust and if she isn't willing to work on it, you will be wasting many years with her. A marriage cannot be saved by just one side. Both have to hold onto the rope.
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Re: Im about to divorce my wife

Postby cora567 » Thu Aug 22, 2019 3:03 pm

If she had admitted her mistakes honestly, then it would have been possible to somehow resolve this issue.
But, she not just cheats, she lies and denies the obvious. This is simply disrespectful. She behaves in a way, that it seems she is not interested in this marriage.
It's hard to leave after many years, but better late than never.
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