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So sexually frustrated it hurts

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So sexually frustrated it hurts

Postby Xeniaxx » Thu Aug 09, 2018 5:46 pm

It became pretty clear early on, that my sex drive is a lot higher than my boyfriend's. I’d pretty much like him to ###$ me 3+ times each day while in his opinion once a week is ”a lot”. I’m into light bdsm, breath play, hair pulling, spanking, etc… all that stuff, while he likes it completely vanilla. Even his porn preferences is sadly very tasteful. I can only orgasm through hard sex, but he then comes way too fast, before I can reach climax. I've read somewhere you can "train" this by having more sex, but that's the whole problem!!!!
I've kinda given up on initiating sex, because I get so upset when he (granted, softly) rejects me.
I'm a very monogamous person, so opening the relationship is a no-go. And I really love him to death, but it makes me feel very undesired and sad. And it's such a turn off for me to pressure, it makes me feel like he's just doing a chore. I don't want that.

I'm getting more and more frustrated. Any ideas??
I work out and eat healthy. He really likes affectionate touches, kisses, getting his hair pet, etc., it seems to up my chance for sex. I dunno if I should try to put makeup on and dress in sexy lingerie or something, but I don't really have the money right now to buy that :/ Or if I should do lots of yoga and meditation to become happy or something, haha. I guess happiness is sexy or what? Sigh. Please help

He's not taking any medicine, but he had a psychosis in march. Could it be negative symptoms from skizophrenia? I hate the idea of us being sexually incompatible..
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Re: So sexually frustrated it hurts

Postby GuessWhat » Thu Aug 09, 2018 8:03 pm

Well, sex is an important side of a relationship; so I think it is normal that you feel uncomfortable.
Now now, the fact that you are looking for a way is a good thing, others would be more disgusting, like leaving him, or cheating on him.
The fact that he had mental health issue can be the reason of his low libido, to be honest. For example, looks like I have erectyl dysfunction and low testosterone level due the depression, just saying.

The safest way in my opinion is talking with him. You have to say that this situation makes you sad and frustrated. But choice well your words, 'cause in the other hand maybe having more and hard sex can make him "sad". So you both have to find a common way to perform this, going with needs and possibilities that you have (I don't know if he has a job and how much he works, etc.)

Hope I helped you.
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