SO I'm dealing with a certain set of symptoms here that I'm trying to put together.
I had an extremely traumatic childhood. Often times I wonder if anything around me is real and have trouble identifying with myself as a person. I have no sense of self worth in the negative or positive. I simply don't understand the idea.
In social situations I often have a complete lack of empathy or emotional response to other people, but while watching movies I can become entirely over emotional. If I attempt to get close to people those friendships tend to degrade rapidly after reaching a sort of climax. I have no sense of sarcasm, but that's not to say a lack of humor. It appears that I have trouble communicating in that I try to say how I'm feeling to other people, but I always get a completely misunderstood response. I'm completely introverted, but I try to talk to other people out of guilt thinking that its something I need to do. I hate small talk, but if someone speaks on something I'm intensely interested in, I can enjoy a conversation. I often have moments where it feels like everything is moving around me and I'm just watching it happen. I'm intensley agitated at the sight of lumps or dents on flat surfaces and at the prospect of talking on the phone. I do have emotions, but lack affection for other people. I've suffered extended periods of insomnia and will often times choose to not sleep if I find a topic that I'm interested in which case I will obsess over it or hours on end regardless of need for sleep. I have very little sense of the purpose of anything, yet this generally doesn't depress me. Also my responses to pain seems to be completely desfunctional in that I laugh hysterically in proportion to the amount of pain.
Altogether this creates a number of problems in my interactions with other people and I'm wondering what this could possibly be.