I might be the most evil person in history

So let me start off by saying when I was about 6 or 7 I was reading a magazine at a local store while my mother went shopping. This woman came over to me and whispered in my ear “your evil”

To this day I 100% believe her! I can be one of the nicest person you can ever meet on the outside and how I conduct myself in public. On the inside is a whole different story. The only reason I am still alive is that I couldn’t do that to my mother because she’s one of the other nicest person you could ever meet.

So here is why I may be the most evil person in history.

If some men in blacks suits kidnapped me blindfolded took me to a room with a red button on a table.
And said “if you press this the world would explode and life cease to exist I would press it so fast my fingers would bleed! I am not kidding you I wouldn’t even hesitate!

When I’m driving and some speeds past me because I’m going 10 over the speed limit but that’s not fast enough for them and flips me off like I’m doing something wrong . I wish I can use some kind of super power and fly their car off into the sunset and 10,000 mph and hope that’s fast enough for them!

You want to honk at me because I come to a complete stop before turning onto a major road? I wish I could obliterate every atom in their body!

I see news stories about a suspect who killed a bunch of people get into a shoot out with officers and are killed. Do you know how jealous I am of that officer that got to snuff their life out???? Must be so rewarding!!

So you see I hate the P.O.S human race with every fiber of my being and long for the day this disgrace vile race is cleansed !

You should consider seeing a therapist, but let me tell you a story.

I was also told I was evil at childhood for no reason, and now look at me, the mere thought of accidently walking on an ant makes me think I'm evil, and it disgusts me.
See, I'm not in your mind, but you have NOT done any of those things you are talking about. You were told you were evil as a kid, and you probably think you ARE evil for not controlling those thoughts, yet you have written this post in PsychForums, and it means you think that's disgusting.
What I mean is, I suffer from OCD, and let's just say, it's the evil thing in you. It knows you don't like a thought so it brings that same thought over and over again in your head to disgust you! But I'm not a therapist, so you should probably seek therapy.

I think I'm evil a lot. I have horrible thoughts about other people and get very chewed up about it, but I've never done anything to anyone and I hope I wouldn't. People give me a lot of $#%^ because they think I'm weird or whatever and my brain hangs on to a lot of these things and sometimes I lie in my bed and wish people would just die. Some guy masturbated at me in the park a couple of years ago and I went through all the normal shock and confusion and then a couple of days later I got so angry and just wished I could catch him and *mod edit*. And it was a really satisfying fantasy I won't lie but also really evil and messed up. And I wouldn't ever really do that either. So am I evil? I mean yeah I think it about myself but other people tell me they're horrible the same ways and would think the same way also if someone indecently exposed to them. I don't know. I'd say unless you've actually committed an atrocity or are feeling compelled to do so then you're no worse than a lot of people.

I'm OCD, and have a history of intrusive harm thoughts. But those are unbidden and used to be distressing to me.

But sometimes not all my mean thoughts are intrusive, and I can tell the difference. I'm not distressed. Usually not too extreme, but I might have wanted folks to drop dead before, among other things. Pretty sure we're all capable of some pretty nasty thoughts at times.