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Has Anyone Here Changed Their Legal Name?

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Has Anyone Here Changed Their Legal Name?

Postby Oblivion » Thu Aug 25, 2022 9:51 pm

To say my family was toxic is an understatement. Sometimes just hearing my full name is triggering. For years I've been playing around with the idea of changing it. Most of my friends are nons, and they say it's a silly idea. Recently though, it's become more appealing to me.

Earlier I was ruminating over the ugly past when I imagined what it might be like, for example, to fill out a form or an application or something and not have to write in that goddamn name. A sense of peace overtook me and I realized that while my friends were right about it not changing the past, if I look at it as symbolic, it has meaning. A lot of meaning. I think I'm gonna do it.

One thing that troubles me is whether or not a name change would complicate matters involving my benefits. I currently get Social Security disability, food stamps, plus a few other perks. Yearly recertification can be a nightmare since I have OCD. More than once I've been denied benefits I've been getting for years based not on my eligibility, but on paperwork details or documents that were "out of order", whatever that means. Bureaucracies are literally wrapped in red tape, and I worry that a name change would screw things up. The hoops they make you jump through are complicated for someone with OCD and it's almost impossible to get questions answered if you have a problem.

So this is my question: would a name change be simple? I'm prepared to have to notify SS, SNAP, HEAP and all the other places (not to mention things like banks and utilities) of the change, but if anyone has any experience with this, or has done it themselves, It would be helpful to know a little about what to expect. Thanks.
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Re: Has Anyone Here Changed Their Legal Name?

Postby Snaga » Thu Aug 25, 2022 11:35 pm

Well, women get their (last) name changed all the time. Instead of a marriage certificate, you'll be waving about your court order approving the name change. I would think Social Security and the driver's license office would be relatively painless, things like EBT I don't know.
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Re: Has Anyone Here Changed Their Legal Name?

Postby DepressedLibra » Mon Aug 29, 2022 9:26 am

For years I have thought about changing my legal name and starting a new life. I have thought about becoming someone completely different, changing my name, and everything about me and trying to start life over again. Losing all my friends and family, live in a different state, or a different country all together, making some very drastic life changes, and changing my name. I kind of gave myself two options one I been saying the "s" word most of my life to end my misery or option two change my name and become someone completely different. completely drop all forms of my identity and forget who I am to become someone completely different in life so I can rewind and start over in life.
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Re: Has Anyone Here Changed Their Legal Name?

Postby emptywithinme » Fri Sep 30, 2022 7:06 pm

Just reading through these responses, you guys aren't alone with this. Though, for me, it's more about representing my gender identity and who I really am. I'm still trying to figure that out and recognize this isn't the forum for this. I have studied tribal cultures where a child is given a name, then they reach puberty and receive a new name. Some are given the name, others choose it. When you realize this does happen in other cultures, it makes you realize there are different ways to live and be, and it's okay really, if you want to change your name. A lot of people have multiple names throughout their lives, including nicknames. I don't discount them as an aspect of identity. We have many roles and identities throughout our lives.

What's wrong with choosing a new name, if it really makes you happy? Or even a new identity. I believe most of us want to improve who we are. I am going to say it's important to love the parts of you that you believe are not lovable or acceptable. But you can still choose whatever name you want. I've known coworkers in the past who changed their first name just because they hated their birth name (and they were not transgender). There's nothing written in stone we have to love or want our birthname, sometimes I think it's unfair someone else chose it for us anyways. My birth name is extremely rare and unique, but that means I spend my life correcting others when they mispronounce it or try to teach people how to pronounce it and they just can't grasp it. It's honestly, annoying and exasperating. Choosing my nickname/trans name has been a blessing because no one struggles with it. Half the time I'm just like, "Call me this instead." And it makes everything easier.

Down the road, I will do a legal name change. I'm still sorting out my gender.
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Re: Has Anyone Here Changed Their Legal Name?

Postby Snaga » Sun Oct 02, 2022 1:29 am

emptywithinme wrote:I'm still trying to figure that out and recognize this isn't the forum for this.


Ah but we do have a couple forums for it :D so if you ever feel the need to talk things through...
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