The long road to recovery

I feel like recovering is taking forever. It's like I am fighting two different personalities. One personality wants me to reduce my medication dose; the other wants me to keep it the same or possibly raise it. This sounds like Bipolar, but I think I have schizoaffective or schizophrenia. I was once told by a Bipolar patient in the psychiatric unit that Bipolar involves one's mind being split into two "sides", and that the two "sides" are fighting each other. I don't think this is accurate, as Bipolar does not mean one has a split mind, or does it? I don't know.

I suppose my situation could be worse. I have heard stories of people with Schizophrenia not knowing that they have been ill for decades. So I am grateful that I do know. If I were not on medication, I would probably still be insisting that I am not mentally ill. Or that the medication is evil, etc.

Anyway, I am thinking about increasing my Olanzapine. I am currently on 30mg, but I have heard of patients being on as high as 50mg. This was said to me by an APRN I was seeing a while ago. And another psychiatrist told me that he had a patient who was on 45mg. My current psychiatrist indicated that he has had patients on a higher dose than 30mg, the dose I am on right now. Years and years ago, I was actually on 40mg Olanzapine for a period of about several months. Too bad I didn't stay on that dose; it probably would have helped me if I did. Maybe I needed that dose.

so sorry that you're going through this, it sounds tough.
I wish that you find something that works for you so you can feel your very best soon!

Maybe if you think that a higher dose would be better it could be true, unless there's something about increasing it that would do more harm than good... I don't know about this, but I really hope you can find an answer and I wish you all goes well!

Thanks, I appreciate your support. I think I am going to give my current regimen a little more time before making any finalized decisions. I hope you are doing well.