What is this? *TW* (understanding dark concepts)

I had no idea where to put this. I was just wondering if anyone knew what this was and what I could do?
Basically, I have difficulty understanding multiple different concepts. For example, rape. I don't understand what's so bad about it because everything bad that could end up happening from it is something I'm okay with. I do abuse myself somewhat, so the pain and possible physical scarring? I don't care. Mental scarring? I honestly don't get it, I do that to myself sometimes anyways. Ect. I just basically have a hard time understanding things. Murder. So what? Abuse? So what? Everything, everything and anything. I don't get it. I don't get what's so bad about anything. I have trouble understanding these if I'm okay with it. I can usually sympathize with people and understand how they're feeling with ease. However, when it comes to rather dark, scarring topics like this. I can't understand why. Does anyone know what this is or what I can do about it?

I'm not sure I follow. You sympathise with people, but don't understand why.... why you wouldn't want to get murdered, for example?

You could think perhaps it doesn't matter that much because people don't do those kinds of things without reason. I don't know.

If you look at the whole whole picture, yeah. You could pretty much make sense of anything that way.
But the laws are in place to prevent people from mass murdering everyone they would like to murder and just run rampant.
That's what these morals are for as well in some sense.

I don't know.

For example, some people really tend to think of all kinds of things as disgusting... where actually, the only need for finding things disgusting is to actually not get sick. And there's lots of things people find disgusting that you don't even get sick of yet if it would happen. I wouldn't want an insect to be pulled out of my glass of water. Even though there is a small risk of it being dangerous if I'm correct, the disgusting reaction is usually extremely exeggerated. But it does have function, although mostly not as important.

So yeah, you could maybe as well think "all those things are okay, as long as you don't get sick".
That could be something I could partly agree with. It is in fact just there for a practical reason, but there's no sense in going over the top.

But it should to some extend be a little obvious for anyone to know that these are bad (that you named), maybe just by knowing out of the top of your head and not intuitively understanding them. But just knowing about them is in fact enough.
Just don't do anything stupid, until then you're fine even if it does feel a little out of place. Usually it doesn't really matter how you think about things, just if you act on them or not. That makes the difference, again: usually.

Well for me specifically, rape is hard because it's about trust. I sort of agree in that yeah, if a stranger on the street raped me, I think I would be a lot less scarred (but I wouldn't know because that isn't the situation I faced.) But for me, it was someone I was supposed to trust, someone I love (I was sexually abused by my dad from a very young age.) So now it's very hard to trust, even those who are truly innocent (like my new adoptive parents) I want to love. And it's very hard to live life that way, because it feels like I will always live this way.

Maybe you can LISTEN to survivors (please don't talk to them about it, just listen, because it would probably be triggering for them to hear that you don't get it!) to see it from their perspective, if you can't imagine their perspective on your own.

Like instead of looking at the giant picture (like the rampant murder example,) or looking at your generalized picture of what you imagine for yourself, or looking at fictional accounts (because media tends to glorify things like rape and murder,) see how these things have affected actual victims.

I sympathize with you on "who cares if I get hurt?" feelings, because I am suicidal. I feel like I don't care if I go get raped, go into a coma, or even die. And when I'm truly at my lowest, I think about how rationally, the world would literally be better off if all of humanity were to die off.

But those feelings lift a little bit when I am more stable and less depressed. So, as your mental health gets better, I think your world view may shift a bit too. When I feel better, I start focusing on the small positives that start happening in my own reality, and don't get stuck in hypothetical negative thought loops as much.