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Looking for community support & people to talk to

Postby Anamnesis » Fri Jun 04, 2021 9:49 pm

Hi everyone
I'm somewhat recently out of a relationship where I was the recipient of domestic violence. My ex parnter had CPTSD from being physically, verbally, and emotionally abused by her father and emotionally and at times physically neglected by her mother. I'm arranging to see a new counselor soon is is trauma-informed and works with domestic violence, hopefully this will be more helpful than my previous therapist.

Its a difficult story to retell, but I feel like I have to revisit some of the things I went through in order to try to move on and heal. It's very confusing for me since I still feel love and attachment towards her despite how awful things were. I would like to say more, but at this moment its difficult to find the words. I'm not sure if I have CPTSD as well at this point or not. I did have some of my own ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) growing up, as my father had a neurodegenerative illness and depression, and since my mom was very busy taking care of him and working I was emotionally neglected. He died when I was a young teenager. I believe if it weren't for attachment problems from my childhood, not receiving the love I needed, I wouldn't have gotten into or stayed in an abusive relationship to begin with. We ended up together for several years, going through cycles, trying to work things out, but never did. I still feel quite unresolved.

I am struggling with patterns like depression, anxiety attacks, bipolar-type mood cycling, and ADHD. I haven't gotten "official" diagnoses for any of these but the ADHD. I think I've had each of these to some extent or another before my relationship, but they might be worse now.

I hope by talking with others in this, I can find support and resources to help with my healing process.
Thank you all.
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Re: Looking for community support & people to talk to

Postby Snaga » Sat Jun 05, 2021 1:36 am

Hello and welcome to the forums!
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Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

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Re: Looking for community support & people to talk to

Postby Anamnesis » Sat Jun 05, 2021 1:43 am

Thanks!
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