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Explain this experience to me.

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Explain this experience to me.

Postby Juji » Tue May 25, 2021 8:21 pm

I have a friend with similar self esteem issues. We are both quite critical of ourselves. I'm a natural skeptic of all things spiritual or otherworldly so I'm wondering what this experience means....

I had a repeating dream in childhood. A little girl walking through a field, picking wild flowers. I know the girl is me. Behind her, I can see there is a horrible black cloud following her. She is completely unaware. It's hard to describe the all consuming fear of the cloud's presence, but 50 years later, I can still feel it.

So I was explaining to my friend that I have difficulty doing a real evaluation of my weaknesses because when I do, this horrible force takes over dragging me down to hopelessness and depression. (It feels just like the cloud to me.) I told her that I have constructed a sort of mental wall against this force. While we discussed it, I could feel it responding like a deep black cobra in my chest waiting to strike outside my mouth.

(I've dealt with this feeling for at least 50 years.) So the friend looked at me oddly and asked if she could cast out this entity. I don't believe in that stuff, but I figured it was sending good intentions my way so, why not? She commanded the "thing" to leave.

So the weird part to me is that I felt it leave instantly and it hasn't come back. I'm confused. Is this some mental disorder on my part? Am I just highly suggestible? Is it overcoming some unknown trauma? Something else? If it had left gradually, I wouldn't be so mystified. But it was instantaneous. Weird.
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Re: Explain this experience to me.

Postby Snaga » Wed May 26, 2021 12:10 am

Hello, and welcome to the forums!

That's an interesting story. First off, I'm not sure I'd question a gift horse too closely. If it seems to have worked, then it worked.

I'm quite comfortable with the idea that it was exactly as described- that something was cast out. Having said that, if you don't believe in it, then.... I just wouldn't question it too much, but rather, enjoy it and see what happens now.

If you're suggestible, we certainly don't want to suggest anything that would undo this feeling. But I mean I can't think of any mental illness you wouldn't likely have not already had- which would mean you'd gone through a cycle of 'black cloud'-tranquility, multiple times I think. I mean closest I could think of might be bipolar and well that's have been at least a bit of a seesaw, I think.

Did you feel as if this force was part of you in any way? My mind wanders to the dissociative disorders, DID or OSDD- not all alts are human.

Maybe someone else can provide some insight, but given that you don't believe in 'that stuff', to me that rules out any sort of placebo effect. Which to me, makes it possible that it is just what it looked like. But that's just my opinion.

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