by redrob » Wed Sep 23, 2020 8:10 am
I totally understand. I have a friend who has mental health problems and has relapsed with alcoholsim and since then I find that even a basic question like 'how's your new kettle?' for example will be totally ignored and then they will be off on their own interests. A lot of their interest is questioning my personality traits, such as 'do you think you are totally honest with yourself?' or seeking answers about theirs from me such as 'do you think I am an intelligent person?'. For some reason I feel I owe them an answer to really quite personal things. Like I am always having to prove my own awareness of myself. Yet if I were to ask him some pertinent questions they would be ignored or turned around on me.
I'm kind of tired of being told their beliefs in what makes a good person by someone who does not practice what they preach and it feels like preaching lately. For example he says people shouldn't shove their own opinions down others throats yet he knows I don't care much for Dr Jordan Peterson, but will repeatedly link me to the same video over and over as if one day I will suddenly 'get it'' . I understand what JP is saying, I just don't feel the same connection that my friend does. Sometimes I think he's doing it to be deliberately frustrating to me. I used to get frustrated but now I have been exposed so much to this behaviour it has just become predictable. Other times it feels as if they are trying to make me feel less 'evolved' than them.
What is sad is that sober, they are great. Intelligent, funny, kind , self aware and a good conversationalist. There is nothing I can do to help they need to want to change however I question whether tolerating passive aggressive or plain nasty behaviour is making me an enabler.
If I have to prove my worth to another, they aren't worth it