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Playtime

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Playtime

Postby AceThePace500 » Wed Oct 09, 2019 2:40 pm

So I have this weird obsession with playing with dolls or figures. I know they aren't alive and that they don't speak, but I like to pretend they do. I talk to them. I make them have families and children and give them their own stories. I like to take them with me in my purse and only have them out when I am with people who are not judging for this odd behavior. I also like to sleep with them. I can't sleep unless I have one in my arms. I acknowledge that this isn't "normal", but I don't know why I like to do it so much. I am able to have a job and interact with others so it is not holding me back on anything. I hide them whenever there are people over because I fear judgement. I even hide them from my parents, especially my mom. She always yells at me for having them and throws them away when she finds them, saying I need to grow up and act like an adult. She tells me the behavior is " Retarded" And "not normal". I tried to stop doing it, but then it felt like a part of me is missing. I don't know why I like this so much, but I have hated myself and felt shame for not being "normal". I often question myself on why I am like this. I often hate myself because I am not what my mom wants me to be and that I'm supposed to be "normal". The judgements that I receive from my mom have led me to depression and even suicide. I don't know what to friggin do with myself anymore. I just wish I were normal :( I guess I am just trying to ask is this more common than I think or is there a psychological disorder around it?
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Re: Playtime

Postby thegentlepath » Fri Oct 11, 2019 6:21 pm

Some things that are helping me in my relationship with my Mother: Set limits & boundaries. Practice verbal de-escalation. Practice gray rock. Work on independent living skills. Nothing lasts forever. Consider her upbringing & diagnoses. Practice patience for yourself & others. Meditate.

I’m sure some people will think you are “weird”. Some people think I’m “weird” too. Everybody’s “weird” to somebody. It’s on a spectrum, from what I can tell.

What kinds of things does your Mother do that might be considered “weird”?
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Re: Playtime

Postby AceThePace500 » Sat Oct 12, 2019 11:23 pm

My mom thinks that me having dolls is retarded and immature. Which I can see that standpoint because you don\'t see adults doing that. She also criticizes me for things I say and do. It\'s upsetting. She doesn\'t just throw them away. Sometimes she breaks them, drive off to a dumpster to dispose of them, or even burn them. One time I was working on a Broly plush and she took it and immediately burned it in her fire pit. Pi**ed me off. What kinda spectrum is it?',
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Re: Playtime

Postby thegentlepath » Sun Oct 13, 2019 4:15 pm

Perhaps you don’t see adults having dolls because they keep it a secret? Just a thought. In my opinion, the issue here is not having dolls, but living with your Mother. I’m no expert though. If you didn’t live with your Mother, having dolls would be much less of an issue, perhaps even a non-issue.
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Re: Playtime

Postby Oblivion » Mon Oct 21, 2019 2:13 pm

thegentlepath wrote:Perhaps you don’t see adults having dolls because they keep it a secret? Just a thought. In my opinion, the issue here is not having dolls, but living with your Mother. I’m no expert though. If you didn’t live with your Mother, having dolls would be much less of an issue, perhaps even a non-issue.


I second this.

AceThePace500 wrote:I often hate myself because I am not what my mom wants me to be and that I'm supposed to be "normal". The judgements that I receive from my mom have led me to depression and even suicide.


How about being what you want you to be? An adult who secretly plays with dolls, perhaps.

AceThePace500 wrote:My mom thinks that me having dolls is retarded and immature. Which I can see that standpoint because you don\'t see adults doing that. She also criticizes me for things I say and do. It\'s upsetting. She doesn\'t just throw them away. Sometimes she breaks them, drive off to a dumpster to dispose of them, or even burn them. One time I was working on a Broly plush and she took it and immediately burned it in her fire pit. Pi**ed me off. What kinda spectrum is it?',


You're being creative and making things and she throws them in the fire pit? You should think about distancing yourself from her. Move out if possible. Imagine what you and your dolls could do in your own place. You wouldn't have to protect them from being murdered.

Sure it's weird, but it isn't bad. I see no indication in your posts that you need to do worry about anything except your mother.
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Re: Playtime

Postby BrokenNotBaD » Thu Nov 21, 2019 9:43 am

Oh my sweet child, why do people do art, why do people keep jounals, why poetry, why sing.
Some people dress as dolls, *mod edit* the list and creative ideas are endless.

What I'm trying to say is it sounds to me like you are using the dolls as a tool to figure out relationships /motivés of others etc which can be very complex. If using dolls makes it easier for you to think about it or communicate then more power too you as alot if people can't figure their thoughts out.

Your mum for example just wants the best for you, she is seeing her job as making you sociably acceptable to others, she does not see other adults using dolls so she is trying to guide you, albeit in a knee jerk reactive manner. A p a 1
I think the other person who is also concerned about you thinking perhaps you are being repressed advised you to move out, that may or may not be the right move, but please stop and consider your finances, youdqr support network, your travel arrangements etc. Don't make any decisions based on Internet chat rooms who are well intentioned but may not have a full picture of your situation.

Short story having attachments to things can serve a purpose as long as its not damaging to yourself or others, enjoy it for as long as YOU need to. You and only you will know when it's time.

Ps I wish I could send links,*mod edit* Tell people a story behind your dolls if you want to make them comfortable, just don't tell them they are voodoo dolls :)
Last edited by quietgirl2538 on Fri Nov 22, 2019 3:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: removed inappropriate text
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Re: Playtime

Postby Manners73 » Sat Nov 23, 2019 9:34 pm

AceThePace500 wrote:So I have this weird obsession with playing with dolls or figures. I know they aren't alive and that they don't speak, but I like to pretend they do. I talk to them. I make them have families and children and give them their own stories. I like to take them with me in my purse and only have them out when I am with people who are not judging for this odd behavior. I also like to sleep with them. I can't sleep unless I have one in my arms. I acknowledge that this isn't "normal", but I don't know why I like to do it so much. I am able to have a job and interact with others so it is not holding me back on anything. I hide them whenever there are people over because I fear judgement. I even hide them from my parents, especially my mom. She always yells at me for having them and throws them away when she finds them, saying I need to grow up and act like an adult. She tells me the behavior is " Retarded" And "not normal". I tried to stop doing it, but then it felt like a part of me is missing. I don't know why I like this so much, but I have hated myself and felt shame for not being "normal". I often question myself on why I am like this. I often hate myself because I am not what my mom wants me to be and that I'm supposed to be "normal". The judgements that I receive from my mom have led me to depression and even suicide. I don't know what to friggin do with myself anymore. I just wish I were normal :( I guess I am just trying to ask is this more common than I think or is there a psychological disorder around it?


I wouldn't worry about what your mother thinks. If you want dolls then you can have dolls.

I collect them funko pop ones (or what ever they're called). I don't talk to them because I'm scared they might talk back to me but I love them and I sometimes take one to work with me and put it on my desk.

You're perfectly normal. There are much worse things you could be doing.
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