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Playtime

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Playtime

Postby AceThePace500 » Wed Oct 09, 2019 2:40 pm

So I have this weird obsession with playing with dolls or figures. I know they aren't alive and that they don't speak, but I like to pretend they do. I talk to them. I make them have families and children and give them their own stories. I like to take them with me in my purse and only have them out when I am with people who are not judging for this odd behavior. I also like to sleep with them. I can't sleep unless I have one in my arms. I acknowledge that this isn't "normal", but I don't know why I like to do it so much. I am able to have a job and interact with others so it is not holding me back on anything. I hide them whenever there are people over because I fear judgement. I even hide them from my parents, especially my mom. She always yells at me for having them and throws them away when she finds them, saying I need to grow up and act like an adult. She tells me the behavior is " Retarded" And "not normal". I tried to stop doing it, but then it felt like a part of me is missing. I don't know why I like this so much, but I have hated myself and felt shame for not being "normal". I often question myself on why I am like this. I often hate myself because I am not what my mom wants me to be and that I'm supposed to be "normal". The judgements that I receive from my mom have led me to depression and even suicide. I don't know what to friggin do with myself anymore. I just wish I were normal :( I guess I am just trying to ask is this more common than I think or is there a psychological disorder around it?
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Re: Playtime

Postby thegentlepath » Fri Oct 11, 2019 6:21 pm

Some things that are helping me in my relationship with my Mother: Set limits & boundaries. Practice verbal de-escalation. Practice gray rock. Work on independent living skills. Nothing lasts forever. Consider her upbringing & diagnoses. Practice patience for yourself & others. Meditate.

I’m sure some people will think you are “weird”. Some people think I’m “weird” too. Everybody’s “weird” to somebody. It’s on a spectrum, from what I can tell.

What kinds of things does your Mother do that might be considered “weird”?
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Re: Playtime

Postby AceThePace500 » Sat Oct 12, 2019 11:23 pm

My mom thinks that me having dolls is retarded and immature. Which I can see that standpoint because you don\'t see adults doing that. She also criticizes me for things I say and do. It\'s upsetting. She doesn\'t just throw them away. Sometimes she breaks them, drive off to a dumpster to dispose of them, or even burn them. One time I was working on a Broly plush and she took it and immediately burned it in her fire pit. Pi**ed me off. What kinda spectrum is it?',
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Re: Playtime

Postby thegentlepath » Sun Oct 13, 2019 4:15 pm

Perhaps you don’t see adults having dolls because they keep it a secret? Just a thought. In my opinion, the issue here is not having dolls, but living with your Mother. I’m no expert though. If you didn’t live with your Mother, having dolls would be much less of an issue, perhaps even a non-issue.
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