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Living in Limbo and never doing

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Living in Limbo and never doing

Postby Mobywhale » Mon Sep 16, 2019 4:08 pm

I apologize if this is in the wrong section I wasn't sure where else to put it as I dont know what is wrong with me. I will be turning 31 tomorrow and for the last 20 years I can recall myself saying this is the year that I am going to change. This is the year I will make things happen. I never do. For as long as I can remember I have always had big hopes and dreams and goals. I am thrilled about working on them and being successful but when it comes to actually doing them I never start. I have a bookshelf with hundreds of self help books that I haven't read. There is always an excuse (not a good one) as to why I don't start. Often times I blame other people. I refuse to do things that are good for me. It is an uphill battle to force myself to brush my teeth once a day or go to bed at a decent hour. I am constantly fighting with myself not to just sit down at night and eat tons of garbage food or get lost in porn. Everything to me is always greener on the other side. I always say if I just had that then I could make this work. I have had excellent jobs and opportunities and always make excuses to not start them or find reasons to quit. I was on a ssri for a while and it just made me not care but I still acted thensame way while I was on it. I went to therapy for over a year until she wasn't able to help me anymore. Now that I am off I am scared to death and cant just push these issues under the rug. My life is in a constant loop of nothing. No change or growth just excuses. I am not working and am running out of money. I am pushing those who support me away. I am jealous and even angry at those who are successful in my field but know that I am just portraying my disappointment of myself onto them. I dont know why I do this. I know exactly what I need to do in life but my damn brain wont ever let me do it. I want to change and I want to grow. I just dont know how. Any advice as to what is wrong with me or how I can go about fixing this would be so very much appreciated. Thank you for reading.
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Re: Living in Limbo and never doing

Postby eterea107 » Tue Sep 17, 2019 9:32 am

Hi, Moby.

How about writing down three goals and just work on those for now?

The following come to mind:

1) Find a job, even if it is just part time. It doesn’t have to be in your field of work, if you want to try something else. Just something where you feel comfortable in (initial anxiety is normal when starting a new job, of corse).

2) If you aren’t already, perhaps start doing some things every week to help those supporting you. Perhaps you could help them out with tasks at home or offer to run errands for them. That’s a way of giving back. Cleaning or cooking at home are ongoing home responsibilities—maybe mow the yard or something like that?

3) Do something for yourself—you can check out a book to read for pleasure at the library, start a new sport or exercise, reconnect with a friend that you went to school with?
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