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How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby thegentlepath » Fri Oct 04, 2019 4:58 pm

I agree wheresmyphone. Channeling my angst into working hard beats the alternatives. When I’m able, that is. Sometimes I can’t seem to help wallowing in self-pity, but pobody’s nerfect. If I can be still & accept it in the moment, it tends to pass eventually.
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby thegentlepath » Mon Dec 09, 2019 6:35 pm

I’m feeling more comfortable than I was at around the others there. I’m slow to warm to people, if I ever do, & it’s okay. Sometimes others take it personally at times, but that doesn’t mean I have to take it personally that they’re taking it personally.
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Mon Dec 30, 2019 4:01 pm

In my last place of work, I tried to be social by staying on whatever conversation topics they were on, and by joking around with one of my coworkers.

I found that almost every single one of them soon decided I would be a good confidant and wanted me to play therapist.

After that, I became avoidant of them because I wasn't sure how to tell them to stop.

As for my boss, I avoided them a lot too as to "not offend."
They didn't like me too much because I refused to suck up to them, and although I try to be respectful and follow guidelines, I almost never see anyone as an authority. I pretend sometimes - if I have too.
I can't deny I didn't learn from them though.

thegentlepath wrote:It’s tiresome though, but everything’s tiresome...


I've found in most situations, socializing is difficult because it is boring as hell / tiresome.

* I don't care about your weekend Karen/Kyle or what movie you saw. I don't care about your family life or that you got enaged or how badly you want children. I don't care about your troubles with your significant other or any other of your complaints. I don't care about the hot tub party you were at or the rude driver who cut you off, I dont care that you went snow boarding and I probably don't care about any of your other special interests either... *

If possible, I try to find a way to joke or "play," so I can enjoy having to socialize too.

At my current place of work, I get along great with anyone who is passionate about the job and that's where my conversations stay at.

If someone is lazy / a poor worker, I become a "focused heads-down worker" so that they don't piss me off.
I'm also "focused heads-down" if they want to go too far off topic because then there's an expectation for it to continue at a later date.
I also dont want them to think I'll be their therapist/confidant.

I couldn't be happier with my current boss, she's respectful and appreciative of me and acts like I'm a valuable employee.

I can tell she has had some type of past; she's tough and quite strict and even though she's cordial and friendly, she's not mushy and glib.
I really enjoy conversations with her.
She's one of the few females that I can effortlessly get along with.

She showed almost a friend level of genuine care / concern for me and offered to be a supportive a few times when I had some issues come up.

I froze and then distanced myself; however, I'm touched, and I value/have loyalty towards her because of it.
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby thegentlepath » Thu Jan 02, 2020 10:56 pm

DaturaInnoxia wrote:In my last place of work, I tried to be social by staying on whatever conversation topics they were on, and by joking around with one of my coworkers.

I found that almost every single one of them soon decided I would be a good confidant and wanted me to play therapist.

After that, I became avoidant of them because I wasn't sure how to tell them to stop.

As for my boss, I avoided them a lot too as to "not offend."
They didn't like me too much because I refused to suck up to them, and although I try to be respectful and follow guidelines, I almost never see anyone as an authority. I pretend sometimes - if I have too.
I can't deny I didn't learn from them though.

thegentlepath wrote:It’s tiresome though, but everything’s tiresome...


I've found in most situations, socializing is difficult because it is boring as hell / tiresome.

* I don't care about your weekend Karen/Kyle or what movie you saw. I don't care about your family life or that you got enaged or how badly you want children. I don't care about your troubles with your significant other or any other of your complaints. I don't care about the hot tub party you were at or the rude driver who cut you off, I dont care that you went snow boarding and I probably don't care about any of your other special interests either... *

If possible, I try to find a way to joke or "play," so I can enjoy having to socialize too.

At my current place of work, I get along great with anyone who is passionate about the job and that's where my conversations stay at.

If someone is lazy / a poor worker, I become a "focused heads-down worker" so that they don't piss me off.
I'm also "focused heads-down" if they want to go too far off topic because then there's an expectation for it to continue at a later date.
I also dont want them to think I'll be their therapist/confidant.

I couldn't be happier with my current boss, she's respectful and appreciative of me and acts like I'm a valuable employee.

I can tell she has had some type of past; she's tough and quite strict and even though she's cordial and friendly, she's not mushy and glib.
I really enjoy conversations with her.
She's one of the few females that I can effortlessly get along with.

She showed almost a friend level of genuine care / concern for me and offered to be a supportive a few times when I had some issues come up.

I froze and then distanced myself; however, I'm touched, and I value/have loyalty towards her because of it.


I just can’t make myself social right now. I’m standoffish & weird. I made a mistake where I volunteer. :oops: This is why I don’t want to work outside the home: having to explain my behavior. I don’t know. Your guess is as good as mine.
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Fri Jan 03, 2020 11:49 pm

You made a mistake?
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby thegentlepath » Sun Jan 05, 2020 4:08 pm

DaturaInnoxia wrote:You made a mistake?


Hi DaturaInnoxia,

I think I made a mistake, but I’m not sure. Everyone makes mistakes. Making a mistake is compounded by my difficulty with communication. Some days are better than others. It doesn’t help that I also have resting witch face. :evil: So I should just talk & smile, but I’m like: no. I just want to work. If people think I am an incompetent, conceited witch, I have to accept myself anyway. Pobody nerfect. :|
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby handsomejaack » Wed Jan 15, 2020 9:10 am

Focus on my work
Being bipolar gives me a huge advantage over the "normals" i have a lazer focus and energy for days in a small period of mania i secured 2 new positions and got employee of the month.
i use my bipolar as a tool, when it works good its really good
But
These obsessive focus and tunnel visions can lead me to be so hyped to learn new things and excell and as obsessive as i get i know in a week...a day....or even and hour that focus can go away just as fast,( its like "ok im over it..lets move on") so you have to take advantage of that window and just do your thing let the bipolar take you to new heights, but realize it can leave you so grab it and ride it.
I use that focus to fool the bosses into thinking im really passionate about my work when really its just an excuse to avoid contact as much as i can with the "normals"
My disorder isnt a set back its a tool that needs to be harnessed, being "normal" like them would lead to a very boring life..
thats how i cope at work with the "normals"
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby Justddrown » Tue Jan 21, 2020 3:30 am

Throw out the term “normal” it implies superiority by setting yourself apart. Just think about it, all I’m
Saying. It doesn’t seem like good reinforcement of ego and could help in isolating yourself more. Recognize other people it helps in seeing yourself.
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby thegentlepath » Tue Jan 21, 2020 5:30 pm

Hi Justdrown,

Thank you for the reply. Isolation is a survival mechanism for me, it’s true. I call it solitude. :D I prefer being an outsider. Always have, always will. Not sure I want to reinforce my ego. The word Normal is my own personal shorthand for those who do not outwardly display signs of mental illness in the workplace. Scratch the surface, & I’m sure it’s a much different story. Does that make sense?
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby poxalis » Tue Jan 21, 2020 11:50 pm

i quit.
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