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Physical abuse sparked an unhealthy obsession with weapons

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Physical abuse sparked an unhealthy obsession with weapons

Postby rawdiscovery » Wed May 01, 2019 7:15 am

I was bullied and physically abused by one of my parents as a kid.

I became hollow as a person after the latter happened and felt like I needed to protect myself 24/7 and couldn't ever relax.

When I got older, I got obsessed with weapons and firearms.

At some point I started to have imaginations that I couldn't control.

Someone would get close to me in a way that is completely harmless or they could be doing nothing at all and my brain imagines myself hurting them before they can hurt me.

With the obsession with weapons, when a weapon is in my thoughts or something I had touched recently, than the imaginations would get considerably more violent

I have complete control over myself and do not act on any of these impulses. But the thoughts are damaging to me and I want to stop them.

Does anyone have any idea what this is or how I can stop it from happening in my brain?
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Re: Physical abuse sparked an unhealthy obsession with weapons

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Mon Dec 30, 2019 3:00 pm

rawdiscovery wrote:I became hollow as a person after the latter happened and felt like I needed to protect myself 24/7 and couldn't ever relax.

When I got older, I got obsessed with weapons and firearms.

[....]

Someone would get close to me in a way that is completely harmless or they could be doing nothing at all and my brain imagines myself hurting them before they can hurt me.

[...]

^
I know this is old, but in regards to this and the violent "imaginations," have you ever read up on post traumatic stress disorder or complex-post traumatic stress disorder?
They collect information to stock pile in their souls, saying, "I will tuck this into my subconscious for later use."  ~ unknown
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Re: Physical abuse sparked an unhealthy obsession with weapons

Postby handsomejaack » Sun Feb 09, 2020 12:04 am

i think that works
the trauma of abuse sexually as a kid has me interested in weird porno and fantasy stuff, perhaps i just am sick and born like this but i think that kinda trauma can affect your mental, i dont have a fixation on weapons, im honestly not even into guns at all, weapons is something i try to avoid, because with my disorder im known to act before i think .
to quote the joker to batman
"you are just one bad day from becoming like me"
put a gun or weapon in my possession and one bad day and i know i will end up in prison.
but you arent alone in obsessions at all
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