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Physical abuse sparked an unhealthy obsession with weapons

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Physical abuse sparked an unhealthy obsession with weapons

Postby rawdiscovery » Wed May 01, 2019 7:15 am

I was bullied and physically abused by one of my parents as a kid.

I became hollow as a person after the latter happened and felt like I needed to protect myself 24/7 and couldn't ever relax.

When I got older, I got obsessed with weapons and firearms.

At some point I started to have imaginations that I couldn't control.

Someone would get close to me in a way that is completely harmless or they could be doing nothing at all and my brain imagines myself hurting them before they can hurt me.

With the obsession with weapons, when a weapon is in my thoughts or something I had touched recently, than the imaginations would get considerably more violent

I have complete control over myself and do not act on any of these impulses. But the thoughts are damaging to me and I want to stop them.

Does anyone have any idea what this is or how I can stop it from happening in my brain?
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