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Help with 15 year old son if you could...

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Help with 15 year old son if you could...

Postby DistressedDad » Wed Mar 13, 2019 2:05 pm

Hello All.

Very fortunate to have found this forum and reading though the threads is very helpful. Thank You for posting!

I am not sure if this is proper protocol or the right place to post but I am asking for some guidance/suggestions with my son. After a lengthy open discussion with him and our (Me and my Wife) observations I have summarized in no particular order his traits/feelings.I was hoping to post them here for you to give us your thoughts on a plan of action for us. If it is not proper for me to post this here, please delete it. Thank You - DistressedDad

Was adopted at birth - No history on birth parents other than birth mother may have been on drugs (marijuana) during pregnancy

Was a heavy shooter type gamer for months (several hours a day).Have since curbed the allowed time per day

Years ago while gaming in Mindcraft felt need for all building to be structured, perfect and completed evenly

Feels the need for uniformity and equalness. If scratches left side, must scratch right side

Does subtle mind and touch drills

Compulsive nail biting and obsessive need to not let small hangnail or skin remain

Needs reassurance and acceptance by Father

Feels like he causes undue stress in family environment

Overthinks/analyzes things

Worries about outcomes

Feels like he lets people down

Smells finger tips after biting nails and scratching scrotum

Feels need to subtly flex & release muscles in equal actions, left and right quad, calf,etc

Sometimes counts steps/chewing food in equal repetitions

Repetitive motion until feels sequence perfect. Will redo until feels perfected

Feels need for symmetry and exactness

Has mental rituals

Anxiety with new experiences, meeting new people, new places.

When plans/family trip is planned, feels the need to know what the plan is going in, what time do we leave, then what after we get there, what are we going to do, who’s going to be there

Anxiety with the anticipation and buildup to the event/experience

Fears something bad is going to happen

Fears something going to happen to Mom & Dad

Feels he is judged by strangers when walking in a new place, restaurant, gym,etc

Worries about how he’s perceived by peers

Feels need to be accepted

Feels no sense of self

Feels like head cloudy/sees through fogged glass

Difficulty pooping in public.Worries other will smell or hear him

Gets song in head and has difficulty letting it go

Generally unorganized

Difficulty in consistently following a structured plan

Has no routine for daily tasks or pre-bed wash up

No difficulty falling asleep or sleeping through night

Talks in sleep

On rare occasion sleep walks

Generally in bed by 11am, and home schooled, so sleeps till 11am

Takes a little bit for him to get going in the morning

Not good at making plans/coordinating event/activity with friends

Does not care about physical appearance to others (big pimples on face)

Does not like attention drawn to him

Is a very good athlete, like to be told he did well, but does not like others to think he thinks he’s a show off or great. Would rather be under the radar

Disorganized bathroom counter, floor (towels & clothes) and bedroom mess

Average student

Difficulty in completing a task/assignment which requires deep thinking or thought process

Difficulty in putting thoughts down on paper in extended writing/paragraphs. One line explanations. Sloppy writer

Difficulty in expressing combination of thoughts in deep conversation

Appears to be a generally a really good and happy kid

Easy going personality

Not disruptive or attention seeker

Rarely cries or seems sad

Never a troublemaker or has any type of outburst

No addictive behavior other than caught vaping on a few occasions
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Re: Help with 15 year old son if you could...

Postby phoenix1 » Fri Mar 15, 2019 1:17 am

To be blunt a lot of that aligns with my OCD (The specific form I have is called pure O) I do not have a clinical diagnosis for autism but my autistic friends think I am. I am extremely introverted, I have less than 30 people I'd call friends, no social media, etc. People love being around me and think I'm the happiest thing in the world LOLOLOL. I made average grades in school as well, I'm very good at what I do now. Your son probably has something he's VERY good at or just comes absolutely naturally.

My best advice is have a qualified care professional assess him. I spent years not know wtf was wrong with me.

If it makes you feel better, I have a ton of mental damage completely unmedicated (drank a bit too much early on LOL) but I function perfectly well in society. No criminal history/legal trouble, excellent finances, I'm an engineer, hold a steady job, travel, etc. I spend 99% of my time alone, but I wouldn't say I'm a detriment to anyone or anything.

Not trying to boast or anything, but some aspects of crap mental health are actually SUPER helpful in many ways (for me at least) so please don't worry.

Like I said, your best bet is a certified professional.
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Re: Help with 15 year old son if you could...

Postby RottenFish » Sat Mar 16, 2019 3:42 pm

Your son has the same traits I did when I was 15. I was diagnosed with OCD and BPD, with severe anxiety. I've seen several therapists since then, and none really made me feel better. They only made my OCD worse, since OCD is so poorly understood by clinicians.

Medications destroyed me, so I am not a fan of psych drugs. I function better without those vicious psych drugs.

Try to get the professional opinion of at least 3 psych doctors because in today's world, so many patients are incorrectly diagnosed.
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