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Blacking out, but not really

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Blacking out, but not really

Postby pierogi » Thu Jan 24, 2019 5:22 pm

A while ago I started experiencing something odd: when I come into contact with something that is extremely unpleasant and hurtful for me (I don't really feel that it is, I have to recognize that it is, based on my previous experiences), I don't feel hurt, my eyes just close on their own and I sort of go limp. I'd compare it to blacking out, but I retain my consciousness. I'm just somewhere in my body, like a small, floating... thing in the black space filling my shell, far too weak to control it. Then I have to wait for a bit and convince myself that I CAN move and I get back to functioning.
I can't really recall when it started, since I used to block out and ignore it. Recently though, I started to give in - it mostly happens when I'm sitting down, so nothing happened to me so far, but I'm not sure if I will be able to stand when something like that happens to me outside home.
Has anyone dealt with something like that here? How do you keep yourself safe when you're this way?
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Re: Blacking out, but not really

Postby Una+ » Sun Jan 27, 2019 12:22 am

You are dissociating. That experience of going into a boundless void inside your body is a variant of the more common out-of-body experience.

I used to dissociate like you do before I got treatment with a psychotherapist training in treatment of trauma and dissociation.
Dx DID older woman married w kids. 0 Una, host + 3, 1, 5. 1 animal. 2 older man. 3 teen girl. 4 girl behind amnesia wall. 5 girl in love. Our thread.

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