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How do I survive Christmas

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Re: How do I survive Christmas

Postby cirkusrat » Wed Dec 26, 2018 1:57 pm

Parador wrote:I have no problem being alone. I used to I guess. But people can get used to things. Being adaptable is important.


I've been alone for almost a week now and I think I'm getting used to it. But it's still really hard. The fun thing is that before I moved into this dorm, I lived all by myself so I was always alone. I somehow survived it, but I'm happy to not be that alone anymore. I wonder what makes being alone so hard. I think maybe it's because when I'm alone, I'm left with my problems to deal with and the silence makes a lot of space for thoughts and worries. I'm trying to enjoy the silence and loneliness though. A few days ago I met a guy from one of the other hallways, he told me he doesn't really celebrate Christmas, so I asked him what he was gonna do these days, and he said: "enjoy the silence of the dorm". I was relieved because I'm not the only one being alone these days then, and he made the silence and emptiness seem like something you can actually enjoy. So I'm trying to enjoy it, too.

-- Wed Dec 26, 2018 3:04 pm --

RottenFish wrote:Due to my OCD I spent holidays alone too. I actually enjoy it. It gives me time to relax and replenish.

For example today I'm spending the day using my massage pad and foot bath I bought last year. All this while listening to beautiful relaxing music. It's like a day at the spa.

When I hear everyone's chaotic family Christmas stories, I'm more than glad I'm alone. Ther'e's no one around to ruin this beautiful day. :wink:


Thanks for your reply :) I think it can be very helpful and therapeutic to take care of yourself and do nice things for yourself, just like you do. I'm trying to do so, but my OCD makes it really hard for me, because it keeps me from doing all the things I'd like to do. For example, I'd love to do some kind of crafting, but my OCD tells me I'll never be clean enough so I'll make the things dirty, and it's a living hell whenever I have to go buy something, especially if it's things I have to keep for a long time (unlike food), because I have a lot of intrusive images and I feel like they make me dirty. So when I touch the things I want to buy they'll get dirty to and I can't touch them. It sounds so stupid writing this, but it's so hard to see that it's not the truth.
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Re: How do I survive Christmas

Postby cirkusrat » Wed Dec 26, 2018 2:21 pm

phoenix1 wrote:I had onset of OCD in August of 2015 (virtually overnight) Christmas has always been a struggle. The first was the worst because I didn't know what was wrong with me. I literally would lay in bed and cry.

I have Pure O, and really tried to hold it together. I kept telling them I couldn't stop thinking of killing myself, or really violent things, it was awful. I used to get drunk as hell because it would slow down the thoughts, only to get worse when I was hungover.

One of the things I used to do, and still do, is make tea and coffee and just sit. I would read a book or whatever, and just mindlessly watch TV.

I guess the only thing I would suggest is be kind to yourself, IT'S OK TO FEEL BAD OR WEIRD OR BROKEN.

Also, stay off of or delete social media, because in reality no one cares and it's not real. They only post the best moments (or fake ones) me me me look at how awesome I am, etc.

Part of going through my OCD was realizing that I'm completely alone, on my own. No one is coming to save me, and I have to be content on my own, alone. It was quite the adjustment, but now I really enjoy it. No drama, no BS, I can bring what and who I want into my life.

You learn QUITE a lot being alone, it's a tough adjustment though.

Relax, take a bath or shower, curl up and watch a movie or do something that calms you. I personally enjoy music or documentaries or whatever.

Merry Christmas <3 :) It will get better I PROMISE.


thanks a lot for your reply phoenix, your words are really helpful and comforting.
Oh yes, I remember those days where I didn't know what was wrong with me either, I didn't know that the things going on in my head were OCD, I thought I was just a weird and bad person. I'm sorry to hear you also had to go through that. Your coping strategies seem good. I'll keep them in mind. I believe you're right about being kind to yourself and accepting that you're feeling the way you're feeling. I also stay off of social media because it will probably only drag me deeper down seeing other people's "perfect" lives.
I want to try to relax and for example, watch TV, but then on the other hand, a part of me tells me I should rather be productive and try to solve all my problems, try to get my life together, because I'm 20 and I feel like I've wasted so many years of my life suffering from OCD, so I want to get rid of it now so I don't have to waste more years. But then the other part of me tells me that I can't solve everything right now, and that I have to wait for therapy which starts mid January, so I might as well relax.

I'll keep your words in mind and try to do things that I enjoy. Thanks a lot and merry Christmas to you too, happy new year <3 :)
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Re: How do I survive Christmas

Postby quietgirl2538 » Wed Dec 26, 2018 6:50 pm

I empathize with you. When I was in the military for 5 years, it was very lonely being stuck doing watch. I was away from family and friends (unless I made new ones at my unit). I just remember seeing those with families get off and spend time with loved ones. The single people were usually the ones standing watch because we were either designated that job or the married people would ask if we could switch with them. I always said yes if they asked.

Merry Christmas to you. :wink:
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Re: How do I survive Christmas

Postby RottenFish » Sat Dec 29, 2018 3:21 am

I feel everyone's pain. I've been living with OCD for 19 years now. I know how bad life can be when our intrusive thoughts prevent us from enjoying even the most simplest pleasures in life.

All I can say is OCD is like a terrible human enemy. It can't disappear, but we can learn to live with it without fearing for our lives.
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Re: How do I survive Christmas

Postby cirkusrat » Sat Jan 05, 2019 12:50 pm

quietgirl2538 wrote:I empathize with you. When I was in the military for 5 years, it was very lonely being stuck doing watch. I was away from family and friends (unless I made new ones at my unit). I just remember seeing those with families get off and spend time with loved ones. The single people were usually the ones standing watch because we were either designated that job or the married people would ask if we could switch with them. I always said yes if they asked.

Merry Christmas to you. :wink:


Hey, sorry for not replying till now. New Years was a bit stressful and I've been very tired. I started medications last week so maybe it's one of the side effects. Thanks for your understanding. I can imagine what it must feel like, seeing everyone leave and being left all alone, kind of. And it feels good to know that others had similar experiences too. Thanks, I hope you had a merry Christmas and happy New Years, too <3

-- Sat Jan 05, 2019 1:54 pm --

RottenFish wrote:I feel everyone's pain. I've been living with OCD for 19 years now. I know how bad life can be when our intrusive thoughts prevent us from enjoying even the most simplest pleasures in life.

All I can say is OCD is like a terrible human enemy. It can't disappear, but we can learn to live with it without fearing for our lives.


Hey I'm so sorry. 19 years is a lot of time. Were there periods in your life where the OCD was easier to handle? I've had it as long as I can remember, too. I keep thinking that I don't want to waste more years of my life due to OCD keeping me from living the life I want. Did you get any therapy?
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