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Do I need a friend?

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Do I need a friend?

Postby Justddrown » Sun Dec 09, 2018 3:15 pm

I have a partner and we enjoy all of our time together and I know when something is an issue that’s who you go to talk to and most of the time that’s fine my concerns easily go dismissed though but that’s ok I imagine that works between other couples as well. But their’s some sort of lack of presence in my life that I used to turn to a few friends for. I had to drop a couple over the years due to not returning the same loyalty towards me that I showed to them. One of them is stationed in Japan he was always the go to to laugh at myself. I’ve begun to think of him and how we would make light of things when we needed. I think I may need that now. I really don’t have close friends anymore and certainly none that I’ve known for 20 years left. The ones I do I don’t want to drag down because of everything I hide and they shouldn’t have to suffer over my mistakes. I come on here and I post things which is pretty bad considering the content of these posts and knowing they’re being read. I like the idea of things like Santa Claus or the idea that an $800 cooler is superior or that I’m being watched and waiting for a response like I’m leaving a long winded nonsensical voicemail or text. I like the idea of believing nobody I’ve ever known is reading this so I can call the truth delusion and feel free to monitor my own self for a while. That won’t happen coming here but I don’t have many places to turn alone in whatever this is. I feel like if I’ve become such a big deal then why haven’t I been contacted. This love helps but I’m losing faith man. Because I’m worried I’ll be like this forever battling myself to absorb the help and change ways. But it’s too distant. This will, make no mistake be something that will continue to be unsettling for me for the rest of my life if the silence isn’t broken. Like a mysterious phone number mix up and the ability to hold a conversation well with a complete stranger. That’s not a common trait...
Justddrown
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Re: Do I need a friend?

Postby Justddrown » Sun Dec 09, 2018 7:52 pm

Can you edit posts? I’d kind of like to remove this. I’m under the weather and that screws with my head. I’d rather not post something like this that isn’t very composed. Also, I’m really not losing faith in all of this. Just hard to know what to make of things.
Justddrown
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 113
Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2017 4:51 am
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 6:07 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


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