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Old Family Secret

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Old Family Secret

Postby cooperman » Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:19 pm

Never told anyone else any of this before! Just wanted to share.

Several years ago I was wondering why we didn't associate with other members of the *mod edit* and found out a family secret! First I was told that my grandfather (born 1918) was the result of a rape and later after his death I was also told that it was his uncle (his mom's brother) that raped her and probably caused her death later!

She suffered from epilepsy and during one of her episodes, he raped her! The story was that she didn't feel well and was left back at the house while her brothers and sisters went to the fields. Her mom later sent the brother to check on her and that's when it happened.

I was also told that few years (2 years?) later she had a bad seizure and the doctor gave her something to make her sleep, but to be sure to wake her up in 6 hours, no later. It was told "he" (her brother) decide it would be better if she got her rest, she was never wake up!

My grandfather was taken in by his aunt who he thought was his mom until her funeral when "the uncle" said to him (aged 6) "What are crying for? She ain't even your maw!" Then he was tossed from house to house until he wound up at his "the uncle's" house, sleeping in a shoddy room attached to the barn, treated as slave labor rather than family until he left at 16 or 17! I believe it was around this time he found out all about his conception and his real mother's death.

I know the abuse didn't happen to me, but I still have feelings and outright anger at not only the rapist, but also at the others who had to know about it, that didn't want to press charges, to keep it a secret and that treated my grandfather less than dirt! All of which are long dead!

Have I the right to be mad, to have feelings of inferiority because of my families defects and health problems! How many generations until it doesn't matter anymore?
Last edited by Snaga on Tue Jul 10, 2018 3:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edit for privacy please be aware of the need to be personally unidentifiable
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Re: Old Family Secret

Postby pamelaperejil » Sat Jul 14, 2018 3:09 am

cooperman wrote:I know the abuse didn't happen to me, but I still have feelings and outright anger at not only the rapist, but also at the others who had to know about it, that didn't want to press charges, to keep it a secret and that treated my grandfather less than dirt! All of which are long dead!

Have I the right to be mad, to have feelings of inferiority because of my families defects and health problems! How many generations until it doesn't matter anymore?


You have the right to your feelings, of course. My only advice would be not to dwell on this *so* much that it poisons your life, as anger often does. I'm sure your grandfather would agree that the best way to "make up" for what happened is for *you* to live as good a life as possible. That said, of course nothing is stopping you from making some act of remembrance: erecting a plaque, planting a tree, etc.
previously: pleasnpetrichor, perejil

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
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