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For the people who never had a friend

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Re: For the people who never had a friend

Postby star dust » Tue Jul 24, 2018 2:52 am

ariaQuin wrote:
star dust wrote:...I think our culture is now more about ‘networking’ for selfish purposes than anything pure or real or true. We’ve become obsessed with how we appear. It matters more to us than real feelings and experiences. What matters more is others know and can see we had the experience. Who cares if you’re on holiday with company you despise, as long as you take lots of selfies. Stick a smile and a filter on it and it’s all good. It’s sad...


This! :D

I've always considered my refusal to create a facebook account (and other socmed accounts) as one of the best decisions that I've made. It is extremely hard to find genuine people online. Nearly everything is a trade. Experiences lose their essence as they are seemingly reduced to being mere advertisements of idealizations and worth are often evaluated based on the number of likes.

With my identity and abandonment issues, my online invisibility significantly helped in managing my BPD. On the other hand, as a form of compromise, I kept the same mobile number since I first had my own phone. When I feel lonely, I just tell myself that should my "friends" really want to talk to me, they'll know how to reach me. True enough, I was able to find them and they were able to find me. My mobile number is more than a decade years old and the number of people I can significantly call friends can be easily counted. However, I just don't care. I'd rather be with a few people who really accept and support me (regradless of my current dominant 'personality') than go chasing after a high number but feel empty in the end.


I want to delete my Facebook account too so badly but I have some useful contacts on there that could come in handy at some point. So I keep it there. I really want to delete it again though.
I go through periods of deleting it. Then I get it back.
I impulsively post stuff though so it’s really annoying. And then look back at it and think... why did I think posting that was a good idea...
yes, social media is not good when your sense of identity and mood changes so much lol..
And if I get no likes or just 1 like I feel embarrassed. ‘oh great so now everyone’s going to know I have no friends’ lol
And I feel like people think I’m fishing for attention, which I’m not. I just use it to voice my opinions now and then.
And yes everything is so a trade isn’t it. I’m only now beginning to realise that. You like my post I’ll like yours. The most likes I get are when I update my profile photo and it’s mainly from men. Which just annoys me. Cause then not only do I have no friends it makes me look like a slut.
And totally, I’d take just one decent friend over 1000 sh*t friends any day.
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Re: For the people who never had a friend

Postby ariaQuin » Sun Sep 30, 2018 1:13 am

star dust wrote:I want to delete my Facebook account too so badly but I have some useful contacts on there that could come in handy at some point. So I keep it there. I really want to delete it again though.
I go through periods of deleting it. Then I get it back.


I understand how that feels. Also, when you suddenly delete your account, people might come up with various ideas and conclusions on why you chose to disappear. It'll then be even more stressful for you have to explain it to them and not everyone will (or even willing to) understand. You'll then be more vulnerable. x(

star dust wrote:I impulsively post stuff though so it’s really annoying. And then look back at it and think... why did I think posting that was a good idea...
yes, social media is not good when your sense of identity and mood changes so much lol..
And if I get no likes or just 1 like I feel embarrassed. ‘oh great so now everyone’s going to know I have no friends’ lol
And I feel like people think I’m fishing for attention, which I’m not. I just use it to voice my opinions now and then.
And yes everything is so a trade isn’t it. I’m only now beginning to realise that. You like my post I’ll like yours. The most likes I get are when I update my profile photo and it’s mainly from men. Which just annoys me. Cause then not only do I have no friends it makes me look like a slut.
And totally, I’d take just one decent friend over 1000 sh*t friends any day.


True... I hope it's not the case but that really is the truth. x(

You also get to question whether it is really you that they "like" or just an aspect of who you are. It gets even more terrible when you find out that the part that they indeed like is just a public persona that was created in order to be accepted. But due to the cold and harrowing loneliness that we feel inside, there are times when we unknowingly take that offer of friendships. Even though we know that they are not really earnest just so we wont be so alone anymore. We keep up the pretense and not immediately realizing that we also keep on hurting ourselves in the process.

All we really need are genuine companions for the loneliness is made even more difficult by our conditions. However, it is more heartbreaking when we are finally noticed yet are not truly seen for who we are. x(

It's ironic how in the age of social media, we seem to be more alone.
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Re: For the people who never had a friend

Postby RottenFish » Thu Dec 20, 2018 2:26 pm

When I am the only person in a room, I don't feel alone. But when I am in a room filled with people, I feel alone.

This is why I'm not on any social media sites, they make me feel so lonely ...
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