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Mirror-Touch Sysnthesia, Empathy Etc.

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Mirror-Touch Sysnthesia, Empathy Etc.

Postby MTS » Thu Jun 28, 2018 7:31 am

So, I've been trying to find as much information on a condition i have, and still trying to get a research group to attend to so i could do an fMRI.

(Mirror-Touch Sysnthesia)

Here's something i wrote that explains how i feel:
What I knew before Mirror-Touch-Feeling-Empathy Reflection Synesthesia.‎

So i figured out how and why I feel empathy and touch the way I do.‎
Being caused by connecting and processing all the physical and emotional situations I’ve experienced ‎in my life time, breaking them down into the deepest layers they can provide(only given to me by my ‎own logic and probability – meaning I think I know how humans work and by experience my theory ‎becomes my truth).‎
Personally, without taking any responsibility on the nature of Empathy and Emotion, I think I achieved ‎a Nerve Connection; a neuron cognitive connection if you will, and due to this so called “Skill” I was ‎able to connect to my inner feelings and physical experiences..‎
I can feel my hurt beats, my blood flows, the skin on my palm stretching when I reach out with my ‎fingers and in some lucid moments, even my eyelids rubbing against my eye.‎
And I remember, and I create some kind of mapping in my memory, sub-consciously.‎
I even write down Queue-points and try to elaborate as much as my mind lets me.‎
Any by that, I try to create my own inner code for every emotion and feeling, physical, neurological ‎and even “Spiritual”, and by doing that,‎
I remember.‎

That was the first step of the recognition on how the “I AM” works, and why I feel the way I do.‎
Afterwards, came the “Empathy Stage”, and the inner process became social as well, and by ‎communication, touch, I started to reflect on my self those feelings using the code I made in my sub-‎conscious. ‎

I’ve began to map feelings, others feelings, the ones they make me feel, and the ones I feel by ‎myself.‎
I’ve began to try and figure those specific human situations, all of them, to this kind of “Table of ‎Human Elements” that can be found in my Sub-Conscious and still even its in unreachable place, I felt ‎like im aware of it, and in any given moment, that inner Logarithm has been leading me since than.‎

That’s where the “Control became Reality”.‎
I won’t say for sure, that every person I’ve came to contact with has been reflected by me into me ‎since I don’t treat everybody with the same deepness level of Empathy and with the same level of ‎emotional understanding.‎
Plus, some people are not connected to themselves and therefore they don’t feel emotions as ‎intensively as me, so I can’t feel anything with enough stimulation and therefore, no Catharsis.‎

The Next stage after the Social Mapping and defining my Inner Logarithm by becoming a whole I began ‎my reflections.‎
And all those feelings, rather being physical or emotional, felts like some type of “Echo” that been ‎going through my body and mind.‎
The touch came like nerve-beats, on my own body, and in full clarity I understood why.‎
By that physical synchronization, I created a high level of empathy and understanding that I wish they ‎have made a better word than “Telepathy” for it, but it sure was there.‎
I felt like times slows down sometimes and those feelings I reflected were not only my own.‎
Every interaction, being aware to the person in front of me, made time melt and only the ability to ‎understand was left to go wild inside my head.‎
Every word was pronounced in perfect harmony, the dialect felt like Pure Mathematics that was right ‎in every way, and by that created this reality, where I made this emotions into a part of the creation ‎itself, and inside my head, my consciousness served me as a god.‎

Ofcourse, I tried to stay as objective and skeptical as possible, but the more I tried, the more I got ‎overwhelmed by those reflections of emotion and touch. ‎
Pain, Loneliness and sadness, feelings that did not belong to me, became my truth.‎
Even that was only an “Echo”, And without being able to control it, I observed it, and just like that I lost ‎all sentiments by fault like a Euphoria addictive maniac.‎

And then came the pleasure moments, those moments when people just want to lift their hands and ‎smile, and deep inside, in the “inner-monologue” I could feel him crying cause of happiness, and it ‎made me drown inside a sea of ecstasy and rapture, almost dropping a tear of joy from my own eyes.‎

As a man, Woman always felt different to reflect than other fellow males.‎
The touch of my hands against her throbbing body, soaking heat from her, and radiating pleasure at ‎the same time.‎
Seeing her craw in pleasure as I grab her ribs, and just put my palm against her neck, using Empathic-‎control, because I know how much she needs it right now.‎
Her breathing, that same well known rhythm, like music, that same old song I heard over and over ‎again, and I understand why she sings it.‎
I know what she wants to feel now, I know what should be the next thing I do, and she feels confused ‎and like she needs to give back, but every time I stopped her.‎
By letting me make her feel that, I get from her something I can’t give to myself.‎
And I feel how between every moan, every gasp of joy, out of pleasure I reflect.‎
I get overwhelmed, in my stomach, in my chest, head and arms, experiencing the same emotion and ‎the same feeling, the only one I have not yet added into my logarithm, because I’m a man and she’s a ‎woman, and by her giving me that one feeling I can not comprehend, I discovered both worlds, ‎through you.‎

To feel real truth, that what drives me, because I know how.‎
In the past I used to think all this moments are just some kinds of a god complex problem, and me ‎being narcissistic and unrealistic.‎
I’m not a masochist anymore and I don’t step aside.‎
I can say surely enough I found my ZEN, and I’m on a voyage for self-exploration and developing this ‎skill called synsthesia.‎

I can’t read minds, I’m just very aware.‎
I don’t give up to logic nor to emotion, and I’m not a bad person for using my surrounding to ‎experience pleasure, because for me to do so, I need to make them feel pleasure first.‎
If you feel skeptical, I thank you for that, because it is the most human thing you could be doing.‎
And if you feel a storm of emotions, let it soak in and try to remember how you made it a part of you.‎
I know how you feel right now; I feel it to, from you and with you.‎
By writing this to myself I take no responsibility and just being radically honest.‎

If you’ll touch the back of your neck now, and move it down slowly, trying to overflow it with love, I’ll ‎feel that electric wave going through your hands and legs, and how the stomach is storming with raw ‎energy.‎
That is, for me the most Exemplary Sysnthesia ideal I achieved.‎
MTS
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Re: Mirror-Touch Sysnthesia, Empathy Etc.

Postby pamelaperejil » Sat Jul 14, 2018 3:15 am

Sounds like a first rate exercise in mindfulness.
previously: pleasnpetrichor, perejil

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
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