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How do I show affection to people I’m not into sexually?

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How do I show affection to people I’m not into sexually?

Postby TheMagicGuy1 » Wed May 16, 2018 7:09 am

Didn’t know what section to ask this in.

But I have a hard time showing affection to friends and family.

The only person I show affection to is my girlfriend because I view affection as a sexual thing. To cuddle and hug and kiss, and say sweet things and I love you, at least for me, is soemthing you do with your partner.

I have a hard time giving my mom a hug or a kiss on the cheek. It just feels awkward. I end up just saying I love you guys to my parents and that’s it.

Anyone else feel like this? Is this normal? Or what does his mean?
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Re: How do I show affection to people I’m not into sexually?

Postby SerenityAndWellBeing » Mon May 21, 2018 11:44 am

This is not something unusual, it depends a lot about how affection was expressed in your family. And this is affected by how affection was expressed in their family and so on. It is about intimacy and fear and shame in expressing it. It is not a must or necessarily better hugging or kissing all the time the family members. Saying i love you is actually already important and one thing that is not done and expressed in many families.
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Re: How do I show affection to people I’m not into sexually?

Postby quietgirl2538 » Mon Jun 04, 2018 6:01 pm

I actually feel like this. My mom would make fun of me if I said something nice like I like you a lot. You're a great mom. I really think she thought it was funny but to me, as a young kid, it wasn't funny. I got my feelings hurt. Nowadays it's still hard to show affection. Except to my husband. I love him and I say I love you. So yeah, I think how you feel seems pretty normal. Just my 2c.

It's even hard to be affectionate with my kids now that they are older. When they were babies or toddlers, I could pick them up and hug them and kiss them but once they got older, it's awkward. They are teens now. Maybe it's just me, but I think we pick up that affection isn't the norm for us as a family, when we were growing up, so then it passes on to our children too.
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