No Future

Not sure how to convey this because I have difficultly expressing my true feelings + theres a lot going on in my life, so I'll break it down. I'm in high school. I have very few friends but rarely talk to them outside of calling/texting because I feel like an embarrassment/too shameful to be seen in public. I've had this mentality for years but recently its gotten worse due to some dumb impulsive choices (I cant even remember what I did exactly which makes things more difficult) I made this school year.

So far my goal has been to put myself out there more but I think I overextended myself (for the reason mentioned above) I've pretty much ruined my chances at having relationships with people I want to get to know, mainly because they associate with people that dislike me (which I don't blame them, since its my own fault. Like I said I made some dumb decisions)

Another issue is that I'm so distant and bad at conversation that I seem to come off as someone who think themselves better than everyone else. I really don't want to be seen this way but it is what it is

I want to go out and be involved with a community outside school but I'm always paranoid I'll somehow run into the people who dislike me and they'll thwart my attempts at belonging and I won't even have the social tools to do something about it

I know this looks silly and dramatic to anyone whos past this point of their life but I'm so lost. I live in a relatively close-knit area so its difficult to find people when youve rarely interacted in the past few years and have a bad rep following you and unsure how to fix it.

Any advice/reassurance/whatever is welcome

I remember the high-school 'cliques' and how difficult it was to feel accepted by them. Social skills are only learned by interaction. There is a balance out there somewhere.
Don't try to move things along too fast. These will find their own pace.
All I can suggest is to 'just be yourself'. You have some qualities that others can respect and admire. Stick with them. The same goes for accepting who others are.
High school was awkward for me too. I was trying to find and develop my own identity at the time.
Best of luck to you.