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I get this feeling... Does anyone else?

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I get this feeling... Does anyone else?

Postby star dust » Wed May 09, 2018 10:06 am

Without going into my history or anything, I want to know if anyone experiences anything similar to this or knows what it could possibly be.

I get this feeling. I've had it all my life, the first time I remember having it I was about 5 years old.
It comes on all of a sudden, with no apparent trigger. It is physical, extremely strong and overpowering in it's intensity. It overtakes my whole body and how I feel. It's very disturbing. And makes me feel horrible emotionally too when it takes over.
The strange thing is, even though it's physical, I can't really describe what it feels like.
It almost feels as though my skin all over my body is making me feel disgusting. But it's inside my body too. It goes right through me.
That isn't exactly how it feels but it's the best I can attempt to describe it.
It feels as though, I am disgusting. My body is disgusting. My body is.... Shameful. Or wrong. I can't explain it. I've got it now and it won't go away. I feel like it has a colour too. The feeling, has a colour. It's grey. A lightish grey. And it's thick and... fuzzy. And it's inside me.

And when I have it I can't bear to be around people. I don't want people physically anywhere near me. I don't want them to touch me. The thought of a human beings flesh being anywhere near me makes me feel ill. I feel like I can taste and smell them.
And they're disgusting. The thought of even the slightest touch, even with someone's arm or finger brushing against me makes me feel completely violated.
I hate it when it happens as it really changes my mood and how I feel.
And, when I don't feel like this.... I really like being touched. I'm not the most touchy feely person in the whole world, but I have a massive sex drive and I'm hypersexual. And I never have a problem being touched then. I love to be touched. I've never had it in that kind of situation either.
I don't get the feeling all the time. Not even once a month. But sometimes it comes and goes for days at a time. Like it is now. The past few days I've had it very, very strongly several times. And it's been horrible as I was around loads of people. And it made me want to just lock myself in a dark room away from everyone and away from humans. It makes me want to not be in my body, but I can't get out my body. Or get it off me, but it won't go. I feel violated by it. And sickened.
I want to get out of my body because it makes me feel sick in a way I can't describe.
My skin wants to vomit.

I wish I could give a better description of it. But that's really the best I can do with words. I can't translate it into the English language. It's a very physical and very specific feeling but is simply not describable with words but I've done my best.
I've wanted to understand it all my life. As a child it made me feel very confused. I remember asking my mum what was wrong with me but my 5 year old description wasn't great and she didn't understand. I've since wondered if it's possible it's some kind of strange flashback. It does feel like a memory that's the thing. Even though there are no images or memories with it.
Any thoughts ? Does anyone have anything similar?
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Re: I get this feeling... Does anyone else?

Postby Wally58 » Wed May 09, 2018 9:26 pm

I haven't had sensations like that while awake, but I have had a few dreams of my body slowly sinking through a gray, misty paste or slime.
It was nauseating and I felt apprehension, but neither to the point of vomiting or terror. I wasn't suffocating either.
There were hazy lights below me as I descended. I don't think that the dream ever had an ending, but when I awoke, I was shaken and disoriented for a few hours afterward.
I did discuss this with my doctor who said that it may have been a primal experience remembered. She said that some people can actually remember the sensations of their birth and the tactile and auditory, possibly sight senses can record the descent through the birth canal. It is more of an imprint, rather than a memory.
It makes sense to me and I accepted the explanation. Although there is some skepticism of being able to recall events or sensations this early in life. I hope that this helps.
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Re: I get this feeling... Does anyone else?

Postby star dust » Wed May 16, 2018 12:37 am

@Wally58

What you said sounds crazy. I do believe it's possible to remember things as far back as birth. I think perhaps everyone does however it's stored in a part of the brain that isn't conscious.
I believe memories of absolutely everything that has ever happened to us is stored in our deep subconscious.
I feel like a part of my brain remembers every moment.
Have you ever had a memory come back to you from decades ago, or early childhood. And it's something you've not thought of since it happened? I have. But what I find fascinating is that in order for it come back into your conscious awareness, it must have been inside your brain the whole time. Stored in there. You just never had the access to it before. I think it's the same with all memories.
The mind is a fascinating thing.
I don't know what my sensation is. I haven't had it since posting this, luckily. It will no doubt return at some point though. I've just always wondered what it was.
Perhaps it is something similar to what you mentioned.
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Re: I get this feeling... Does anyone else?

Postby CammieMe » Wed May 16, 2018 1:58 am

star dust wrote:Without going into my history or anything, I want to know if anyone experiences anything similar to this or knows what it could possibly be.

I get this feeling. I've had it all my life, the first time I remember having it I was about 5 years old.
It comes on all of a sudden, with no apparent trigger. It is physical, extremely strong and overpowering in it's intensity. It overtakes my whole body and how I feel. It's very disturbing. And makes me feel horrible emotionally too when it takes over.
The strange thing is, even though it's physical, I can't really describe what it feels like.
It almost feels as though my skin all over my body is making me feel disgusting. But it's inside my body too. It goes right through me.
That isn't exactly how it feels but it's the best I can attempt to describe it.
It feels as though, I am disgusting. My body is disgusting. My body is.... Shameful. Or wrong. I can't explain it. I've got it now and it won't go away. I feel like it has a colour too. The feeling, has a colour. It's grey. A lightish grey. And it's thick and... fuzzy. And it's inside me.

And when I have it I can't bear to be around people. I don't want people physically anywhere near me. I don't want them to touch me. The thought of a human beings flesh being anywhere near me makes me feel ill. I feel like I can taste and smell them.
And they're disgusting. The thought of even the slightest touch, even with someone's arm or finger brushing against me makes me feel completely violated.
I hate it when it happens as it really changes my mood and how I feel.
And, when I don't feel like this.... I really like being touched. I'm not the most touchy feely person in the whole world, but I have a massive sex drive and I'm hypersexual. And I never have a problem being touched then. I love to be touched. I've never had it in that kind of situation either.
I don't get the feeling all the time. Not even once a month. But sometimes it comes and goes for days at a time. Like it is now. The past few days I've had it very, very strongly several times. And it's been horrible as I was around loads of people. And it made me want to just lock myself in a dark room away from everyone and away from humans. It makes me want to not be in my body, but I can't get out my body. Or get it off me, but it won't go. I feel violated by it. And sickened.
I want to get out of my body because it makes me feel sick in a way I can't describe.
My skin wants to vomit.

I wish I could give a better description of it. But that's really the best I can do with words. I can't translate it into the English language. It's a very physical and very specific feeling but is simply not describable with words but I've done my best.
I've wanted to understand it all my life. As a child it made me feel very confused. I remember asking my mum what was wrong with me but my 5 year old description wasn't great and she didn't understand. I've since wondered if it's possible it's some kind of strange flashback. It does feel like a memory that's the thing. Even though there are no images or memories with it.
Any thoughts ? Does anyone have anything similar?


I can't relate much to your experiences but there's something in your childhood that made you develop such things. I don't know if its a kind of trauma that triggers. However, have you talked to a health professional about it? I think they would be able to give you the best answer to your situation.
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Re: I get this feeling... Does anyone else?

Postby star dust » Wed May 16, 2018 5:08 pm

@CammieMe

Yeah it has to be from childhood as it is the exact same distinctive, overpowering feeling since I very first had it as a young child. It doesn't exactly impact my life greatly, it can change my mood at the time and make me feel extremely uneasy and uncomfortable in my body, but due to the fact I don't really experience it that often, it's not really causing me problems in life, I guess I'm just intrigued by it. My whole life I have wondered what it is and what it means, mainly because it's such a physical and emotional, powerful yet indescribable sensation. It's not real describable with words as I said, but it's definitely strong.
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Re: I get this feeling... Does anyone else?

Postby Dnester » Sat May 19, 2018 1:31 am

Yeah perhaps a body memory associated with some kind of trauma.
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