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Feeling lonely - Review of my current life

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Feeling lonely - Review of my current life

Postby pepous » Sun Feb 18, 2018 7:45 pm

Hello,

I am new to this forum. I would like to describe my life becouse I am not sure what to do to improve my life.

I think my problem is loneliness. I feel well around "older" or somehow "weaker" people usually.

I am sensitive, suffer from anxiety often. I overeat at night when "bored". I have up and downs.

So my typical day:

My job: I am freelance and I basically resell articles or sell my own articles from my website through email.

- So I wake up and either I work from home or I go to coworking centre (at home I am alone and in coworking centre I go with people to lunch or nothing and otherwise I feel isolated aroud those people) I need usually to work just about 3 - 4 hours daily
- Than I usually go to some sport (boxing or gym)
- Than I go home where I am alone

When I dont exercise I start to feel exhausted.

I have no girlfriend and live with my mother. I dont to with her much. I dont like to talk to her. In few months I will move to new flat and I will live alone.

I know I can feel better becouse for example when I was helping bricklayers I felt much more connected and generally I felt better. Maybe becouse it was all so new for me.

So the question is how to have more meaningfull connections either in job or outside job. Sport is great but not sure if it is good idea to exercise for example twice daily?

In job I feel disconnected. No family. What would you recommend? I really crave contact but I feel easily defensive or something like that becouse of my anxiety or something like that.

What would you recommend to me? My ideas are:

- girlfriend
- group theraphy
- more exercise or new collective sport but this would be almost exessive I think
- job for "fun" - something I would enjoy and connect with people like warehouser or something outside PC with people
- job in marketing with where are good and older people (but hard to find)
- School or learning language or something

What do you think? What should I do according to you? What do you think about my life?
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Re: Feeling lonely - Review of my current life

Postby rms18 » Mon Feb 19, 2018 4:59 pm

Seems like your self esteem is quite low to me. Have you spoken to your doctor about the way you feel about your life?
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Re: Feeling lonely - Review of my current life

Postby josh0745 » Mon Feb 19, 2018 7:35 pm

Don’t forget volunteer work. You can help others and meet new people.
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Re: Feeling lonely - Review of my current life

Postby pepous » Mon Feb 19, 2018 8:56 pm

What do you think about method EFT?

I think I suffer from low self esteem and general uncertainity about myself. That is probably why I speculate about my life so much. That is becouse i dont do exactly what I want becouse of fear of peers and competitors.

That is why I speculate so much about if my job is good. If I am good. If my hobbies are good etc. :)

Thank you
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Re: Feeling lonely - Review of my current life

Postby acronymaholic » Wed Feb 21, 2018 4:04 am

I am also a writer and I don't have any friends. I live very isolated and I have found that getting on successful people's email lists takes away my loneliness. One of those people whose list I am on is an internet businessman name of Tai Lopez. I took his 67 steps program and have listened to some of his online talks. One of the things Tai talks about is developing your mindset. And one of the ways he does it is he thinks of himself in terms of being an experimenter. He sees everything that happens to you as an experiment. And if it turns out ok it was a good experiment that you learned good things from. But Tai says that when an experiment goes bad, we should quit doing it. He says the only bad experiment is continuing with an experiment that went wrong. I advise you to think about your life as an experiment. And then try different things to see how they make you feel. If they seem to be turning out bad, just quit doing them. But if you learn something from anything you do, it become a lesson learned. And you can either take that lesson and walk away and do something else. Or you can continue learning about that experiment if you think you are learning something worthwhile. The whole point of life in my opinion is learning and developing yourself, especially your mind. When you develop your mind, you begin to think better of yourself.And when you think better about yourself you know you have something worthwhile to give to others. /so you can choose who you want as a friend, good luck
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Re: Feeling lonely - Review of my current life

Postby pepous » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:58 am

acronymaholic wrote:I am also a writer and I don't have any friends. I live very isolated and I have found that getting on successful people's email lists takes away my loneliness. One of those people whose list I am on is an internet businessman name of Tai Lopez. I took his 67 steps program and have listened to some of his online talks. One of the things Tai talks about is developing your mindset. And one of the ways he does it is he thinks of himself in terms of being an experimenter. He sees everything that happens to you as an experiment. And if it turns out ok it was a good experiment that you learned good things from. But Tai says that when an experiment goes bad, we should quit doing it. He says the only bad experiment is continuing with an experiment that went wrong. I advise you to think about your life as an experiment. And then try different things to see how they make you feel. If they seem to be turning out bad, just quit doing them. But if you learn something from anything you do, it become a lesson learned. And you can either take that lesson and walk away and do something else. Or you can continue learning about that experiment if you think you are learning something worthwhile. The whole point of life in my opinion is learning and developing yourself, especially your mind. When you develop your mind, you begin to think better of yourself.And when you think better about yourself you know you have something worthwhile to give to others. /so you can choose who you want as a friend, good luck


This is very intersting and generally is the topic I think about. Basically I think I crave for:

1. Mental work (to be satisfied that I use my potential)
2. Sport - I feel good about it. I like it.
3. Manual work around people idellay that calms down anxiety etc. (this is the think I lack in my life)

So the question is how to fullif my need for manual work, my ideas:

1. Fitness trainer
2. Massages
3. Manual work like Bricklayer etc.
4. Volunteering (but dont know what to do in Czech)

Everything is somehow complicated from my point of view.

What do you think?
pepous
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Re: Feeling lonely - Review of my current life

Postby acronymaholic » Thu Feb 22, 2018 8:43 am

The question is not what do I think ... but what do you think? Only you can live your life, Everyone has to make their own decisions, Everyone has to choose what they think is best for themselves. And when you choose to make your LIFE a Life Invested in Finding Experiments to test, you are creating a life for yourself instead of just merely existing and expecting someone to rescue you from yourself. Good luck!
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Re: Feeling lonely - Review of my current life

Postby pepous » Sun Feb 25, 2018 8:06 pm

acronymaholic wrote:The question is not what do I think ... but what do you think? Only you can live your life, Everyone has to make their own decisions, Everyone has to choose what they think is best for themselves. And when you choose to make your LIFE a Life Invested in Finding Experiments to test, you are creating a life for yourself instead of just merely existing and expecting someone to rescue you from yourself. Good luck!


True. I just read something about separation anxiety disorder. I think that is partly my problem. I usually dont have this problem and usually I dont feel lonely.

But when I for example exarbarate myself or something stress me out alot I than have anxiety for many days. Usually something like 7-10 days.

In those days I feel lonely, I have tendency to overthing everything, I have separation anxiety at nigh etc. I cant sleep.

I just think about it. My problem is also that I look queite good and when feeling well I tend to attract nice girls. But when feeling bad I become anxious. I have social anxiety, I become dependent and that is thing gilrs hate the most. So they leave me.

So I think I need to find someone who has also strong need to be in connection with someone. I know it is not a good think to be codependent and that it is better when 2 individuals have its own lifes etc.

But anxiety is not curable. It can be just managed. So if I want to be happy I think I should look for "weak" girls that tend to be dependent.

What do you think?

People usually recommend to find someone who is "stable" etc. to compansate my instability. But I think that that will make me feel unsecure about these people which dont need that much connection like me.

What do you think? I know that it is my life but usually from my experience what is generally known fit for me well and I dont need to do mistakes which did people in the past.

Thank you :-)
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