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Debilitating inability to even start "complex" tasks

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Re: Debilitating inability to even start "complex" tasks

Postby abstractinfinity1 » Sun May 13, 2018 12:25 am

quietgirl2538 wrote:
My problem is more like I do see what I care about and what has meaning but I feel my issue with energy/focus gets in the way and my emotional dysregulation. So in this way I lack meaning too. But I also find meaning in the struggle and especially in the emotional dysregulation as weird as that sounds - it feels like my brain and mind is trying to get somewhere with it. I hope I get there one day.


I hope you find answers and solutions. Keep at it. Keep trying to find help/solutions.


Thanks. I think the help I need the most currently is a way to keep focus on the goals I did slowly determine and thus switching to a mode where I'd be elaborating on small concrete steps and then actually going and doing those. I'd need someone to talk to me regularly enough about this, letting me talk it through with them and then they should show attention towards whether I am actually taking the determined steps. Hmm, dunno, 3 times a week for such talking and then me doing steps between the talks would be great.

I tried to use online counseling sites before, it didn't work because I didn't even see my problem back then, now I do, but now the problem is I don't have the kind of money I did before to spend on this. I wonder if I could put up some thread here about this where I'd ask for this help and I'd offer my own help in turn too, I'd let them talk to me too and I'd help them think too about whatever they need help with.

Feasible? Can I do a thread here about that? Or is it against any rules here?
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Re: Debilitating inability to even start "complex" tasks

Postby abstractinfinity1 » Mon May 14, 2018 2:47 am

Hm nvm this... apparently I can't gain positive motivation anymore like I could before to work through the pain and negativity and finish projects. I'm not sure what happened, why I'm like this. I just feel like, there is a lot of the pain and negativity and I feel averse to feeling positive motivation. That's kind of new, to explicitly feel averse.

What's that, deeper in depression? :shock:
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Re: Debilitating inability to even start "complex" tasks

Postby quietgirl2538 » Mon May 14, 2018 5:49 pm

I will PM you.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

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Re: Debilitating inability to even start "complex" tasks

Postby abstractinfinity1 » Mon May 14, 2018 8:46 pm

quietgirl2538 wrote:I will PM you.


Thanks!
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Re: Debilitating inability to even start "complex" tasks

Postby Clive1 » Fri Aug 03, 2018 12:30 am

Hello all. Remember me? I am the OP and it's been a long time since I posted to this thread, with apologies.

As I know is the case for all of us, life can sometimes get in the way. That is a pitiful excuse to my being so absent on this thread, but a lot has happened in the last few months. But I did want to report some very encouraging news.

Late last year, my psychologist suggested one last shot at medication. As you may recall from the early parts of this thread, I had pushed back for a long time, having been through a whole range of medications, with results varying from no obvious effect (in either direction) to very poor. So, it took a lot of discussion for me to try anything again.

I finally decided to give Duloxetine (generic Cymbalta) a shot. The results were tremendous.

I was put on an initial dose of 30mg, working up to 60mg after two weeks. But, within a couple of days I had a MAJOR impact in my ability to focus and concentrate. There were (and are) some challenges about the type of work I can do well, but the before-and-after is amazing.

The first two weeks knocked me back in terms of making me very tired, to the extent I called my doctor. He suggested I stick out out and, sure enough, in the third week things started to improve. Now I have no such issues.

Since I generally dislike taking medication but I had seem radical improvements, I suggested to my doctor that I stay on the 30mg i.e. a half of the full dose. He agreed and 8+ months later I am still at that level.

As I say, I still have my challenges but can work around most of them, with a little creativity and pragmatism about the work I do. In March I left my job of 20 years and so I am now working on my own business, which helps me "design" my work day and patterns. I take lots of rests and my overall productivity is markedly down from the best of my working years. But I feel empowered again that life is back in my control.

Again, my sincere apologies for taking so long to report this. Of course, I wouldn't suggest this bright outcome is the answer for others. We are all so different in how we react to medication. So my message is less about the medication and more about not giving up hope that there's an answer out there.

One final part of the story is that my 23 year old daughter has herself faced many of these issues and, after much discussion (and a lot of soul searching), went on Duloxetine too, earlier this week. Although there may well be a placebo effect here, she's feeling MUCH brighter and more optimistic i just the four days since she started taking it (that is much quicker than is normally seen with this drug, hence my wondering about placebo effect).

I wish everyone their own success.

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Re: Debilitating inability to even start "complex" tasks

Postby Holodeck » Fri Aug 03, 2018 1:48 pm

I'm glad it's working for you! :D
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Re: Debilitating inability to even start "complex" tasks

Postby abstractinfinity1 » Wed Dec 19, 2018 3:43 pm

Hey all. Cool that OP returned and that he found a solution. @Clive1 - if you are reading this, I'm glad the Duloxetine is working for you, I hope it's still working. I guess if it has been working for 8 months then it's a stable enough effect and life for you. I once had a try with Wellbutrin specifically for motivation, and it was an awesome and nearly immediate effect for that but that for me lasted 4 days before its effect was reversed by a negative happening. I haven't found anything since then that could combat these things chemically in a strong enough way (even if in the right way), just a supplement once but that was also not enough on this own. Maybe it was a placebo for the Wellbutrin sure, I dunno, I doubt it though because I observed certain good effects that couldn't have been just a placebo.

When I did try other medication this year (SSRI related and other ones), it would either just give me side effects or reduce my motivation further so forget about focus issues, if I don't even get as far as trying to go and do work or whatever other tasks then there's of course no focus issue because I don't even get as far as that lol.

Anyway I no longer have focus issues, I've worked enough to bring to my awareness the emotions that were blocking my focus. Now if I can't immediately start work I can pretty much directly feel whatever emotional issue it is that's taking my attention. Then it can be managed directly, even if it takes some bit of time. Then have focus again... I'm not sure why it took me so long to make the emotional awareness fully working but it's working now. I still have to work through a lot of $#%^, I can do work alright, I just have to manage my energy carefully i.e. how much work I can take and give myself enough rest too, after I almost ran myself into burn-out by the time summer arrived. Maybe that's no surprise to anyone who was reading my earlier posts...

As for the motivation issues I wanted the Wellbutrin for... same thing, the emotional awareness and management of the emotional issues, working through them and resolving them is what seems to be the answer there too. :o

So my goal is work through all the negative emotions and the issues behind them, fix the situations related to them, and be back on track for a normal and fully functional life again. The emotional awareness I developed did give me a sense of control back so that's really good. I just have to be patient with the process...

I'm suggesting this to others too, maybe that's the real long term solution though by no means a quick and easy one... It really really takes time and hard work. And a lot, a LOT of emotional pain has to be faced and tolerated before it can be worked through. I'll be glad to report back later again as to whether it got me to my goal of being fully functional again...

Let me know if anyone's still reading this thread. :)
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Re: Debilitating inability to even start "complex" tasks

Postby abstractinfinity1 » Wed Dec 19, 2018 4:03 pm

(The pain and pressure I was speaking of back in May, I've got through that too, i.e. I made it more accessible to my awareness as real feelings, so it's manageable that way. My access and awareness has become more flexible over time, so it's all less extreme now. It's like... like my brain learned a more refined way of dealing with all this... and with relationships too, at the same time (not accidentally though). And I did have to "relearn" how I used to focus on tasks, but that part wasn't too hard to do. No more mental pain either since I scaled back on the workload.)
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Re: Debilitating inability to even start "complex" tasks

Postby abstractinfinity1 » Wed Jan 09, 2019 2:39 pm

I'd like to hear from anyone, it was nice talking earlier

@Clive1
@Holodeck
@quietgirl2538
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