crotch looking problem: Psychological help please.

It is so nice to see other people who have exactly the same thing I do. Not that I wish anything bad for you but it is comforting to see other people have exactly the same as I do.

The embarrassment of this thing is terrible! I have had this for over 40 years. It first started when I think I was 21. I think maybe it started because I was trying to improve my grades which meant I had to study more and party less. I was not always glad to see people because I thought they were interferring with my studying. In retrospect that may have been a big mistake. It is hard to study once this thing kicks in with a lot of anxiety. In high school I had been concerned about sweating since I guess I tend to be nervous but I no longer am worried about that.

Here are a few things that I have found very helpful.

1. We often feel that due to this thing that we make other people very uncomfortable. We feel bad about that. The truth is that most people could probably care less. People do notice that we are uncomfortable for some reason. If I imagine that I am talking to someone like myself, I really would not mind at all. In fact, our affliction will make many people feel better about themselves. So we are actually doing some good! We should at least recognize that and feel a little better about ourselves and recognize that we really don't bother most people at all.

2. I noticed at a party I went to lately that if I simply maintained a friendly attitude that the thing just went away. I am not sure that will work consistently but trying to maintain a friendly attitude is not hard to do and I think it helps quite a bit. I try to just be ready to smile and listen or say hello.

3. Relaxing does help. The holosync thing is good. I think any kind of meditation is very good not only for us but for everyone. For one thing it makes me realize it really isn't that important.

4. I have found something that really helps me. I have been taking Phenibut lately. Bulk powder. Phenibut is an over the counter supplement readily available without need for prescription. Man, a half teaspoon or, when I dare, a teaspoon of that and anxiety is gone out the window for the next day. I also add some nootropic powder such as aniracetam, pirecetam, or pramiracetam which I also buy as a bulk powder. Mix it with orange juice. It is sour but for me very effective. I can still work fine if not better than normal. I become much more sociable, and am able to have more fun. I think the main problem with this thing is it can take the fun out of life. Phenibut,for me, puts the fun back in.

5. Finally, exercise is very good and relieves stress. I have my own routine called Peak 8, which can be found on the Internet. However, any exercise is good several times a week.

After dealing with this for over 40 years, these are my suggestions. Good luck. It is very nice to find people like myself. I wish I could meet you and talk about it with you. I would be very curious to see how you appear so I would know a little better how I come across. My guess is probably not nearly as bad as we usually think.

Regards.

Wow, thank you god, at least I know I am not alone,not meaning anthing by that, but I to have this problem and felt people were talking about my problem and made me feel worst, I do also think it does come from anxiety, because I never had this problem in High School, I am heterosexual, but for some reason I look at people's crotches especially when they wear jeans not sure why, it's not sexual because I don't feel any sexual tension when this happens, at first I thought I was gay but further notice that I don't even think about guys, what should I do, it comes and goes over the years, It also made me antisocial, we really are the creators of our own demise if we let it, as far as this condition, if this helps, I also had a staring problem with people, it would go something like this,I would star at peoples eyes and my eyes would get big, and I had told my wife about it after being ashamed for a while and she help me conquer this , how you ask?Well, she said when I talk to people that not to star in there eyes rather focus between there eyebrows, so I did and poof just like magic and went away, well not right away but it went away after couple times, so I think we have to change out psyche on this, and I am stump on this???I think if people are sincere enough while talking to them they wouldn't think of anything of it.

I have this problem too, and have been previously diagnosed with OCD. It is my worst obsession and I wish I could return to some of my more emotionally painful ones to avoid the shame that comes along with this one.

However, I think -- at least for myself -- I may have found an answer. Usually when I do this it is because I am so conscious (yet still somehow not in control) of where I am looking. I remember a time, which seems so distant now, when where my eyes were directed was the last thing on my mind. It's like when you begin to think about your breathing or blinking and as a result you begin to control when you do so, but for some reason it's so much harder to forget about where you are looking. But I know I am not truly in control, as even now as I type my eyes seem out of whack. In any case, so as not to ramble, my exact problem is that when I normally intend to look someone in the eye I mentally must avoid looking somewhere inappropriate first before I look them in the eye and I usually fail. My eyes go down, and then up to meet their gaze. Because this is actually the problem I have decided to focus on looking at someone's nose or something else below their eye instead of their crotch, at least whenever possible. If you can begin to think "nose" instead of "crotch" when looking someone in the eye you may be able to make them (and yourself) feel much more comfortable. Admittedly I just came up with this idea and have no idea if it will work, but my hope and belief is that it will. I have been practicing on the pictures hanging up in my room and it seems to work well. (I am also delusional, so looking at a picture of a person is like looking at a real person.)

I think this will be a lot harder to put into practice, but it may be possible. Good luck to everyone!

I wouldn't like to think this it's an issue.
Main tips if you feel absolutely prevailed, wear
I doubt they will assume you are looking at their crotch, they will most likely assume you are looking at their belt, trouser's pattern or shoes..

When we're in a conversation with someone, we don't maintain constant eye contact. That is probably just as taboo as staring at someone's crotch. We tend to meet the other person's eyes, look away, look at them again, and all the time we're doing that we're taking in aspects of their appearance, their non verbal communication, and their posturing. It's all a part of the subliminal communication that happens in a conversation. Usually, this is done subconsciously and if for instance we look at the person's hands, we don't notice that we're doing it. Occasionally our eyes might fall on their crotch, especially if the person is sitting down and wearing trousers that reveal it. This is not done in a sexual manner, it's all a part of the common observances that we make during a conversation. Because the crotch area is so taboo, we suddenly become aware that we're looking at it, and then become embarrassed in case the other person has noticed, and has misinterpreted our glance. Now that we're aware, we become fearful, and no matter how hard we try not to, we find ourselves looking there. It can be rather similar to trying not to stare at a huge zit on someone's nose. The more we try not to stare, the more we do it. It's all very different to blatantly ogling someone. We have all seen people who ogle, and they're usually very blatant about it, and not at all embarrassed. They project any embarrassment onto the person who has been ogled. The chances are that the other person hasn't even noticed if there has been no bad intent, and they're probably embarrassed too because they might have found themselves staring at a piece of spinach that is stuck on our teeth!

OP, if the people you're staring at have a problem with what you're doing, they'll let you know in no uncertain terms.

I don't find a crotch anymore interesting than toes or ears (unless it's mine of course ), but I am often interested in the clothes people are wearing, and how they fit. It's interesting, the reactions people give me when they catch me checking out their various hemlines. With pants hems, people mistake the floor level study for some kind of sadness, and ask me if I'm ok, or tell me to cheer up. If they catch me looking at their cuffs, their assessment of the situation will be closer to catching what I'm actually doing, and they'll start telling me interesting family heirloom stories about the rings or watch they're wearing. (I actually prefer that over my boring hem assessments sometimes )

There have been times when a person sees me looking at a jacket hem. Since the men I talk to wear jackets more often than the women I talk to, any misunderstandings about where my eyes are become an excuse for dude to get all flustered and walk away, or for him to start hitting on me. If they see that my eyes are focused on something close to their privates, there's no polite ignoring. They react--unmistakably, and sometimes harshly.

So OP, don't worry about it. If you'd offended anybody you'd know.

*Edit: I didn't realize that this was a resurrected post. The OP's probably long gone by now. I'll direct my advice to the newer commenters who see their own eye contact problems in this post. Again, don't worry about it. People will usually let you know if you're annoying them.

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