Our partner

Depression and Suicide

Open Discussions about how Mental Illness affects your life.
*****PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE POSTING HERE*****

When posting on Psychforums.com please try to pick the forum you think best fits your post. If your post would fit in a specialized forum (there are more than 100 forums here) then please post there rather than in the "Living With Mental Illness" forum. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. Moderators could move your thread without notice if they feel it is fitting better into another forum.

The Mod Team

Depression and Suicide

Postby seanetal » Sat Jan 24, 2004 3:43 am

Last Thursday, January 15thm 2004, I attended a presentation of In Our Own Voices by NAMI Greater Seattle.

I spoke briefly before the presentation and an older Russian gentleman picked up my card, I'll call him Jim. Jim called me on Sunday and asked for some help for his friend, another Russian man whom I'll call Tom. Jim told me that Tom suffered from depression and was having a very hard time with life. I told Jim to pass my information along to Tom and I would see what I could do to find him some help.

Tom called me about 20 minutes later and we spoke for more than an hour about his situation. I took his information down and told him I would get back to him with some information.

On Monday I called Tom back and left a voice mail with the phone numbers for the local NAMI chapters and the local crisis lines. I asked him to call me or call someone at the numbers I had provided.

Jim called me this evening and told me that Tom had purchased a gun and shot himself on Wednesday January 21, 2004.

I did what I could, and Jim did what he could... but it wasn't enough.

Six years ago I was where Tom was on Tuesday. For those reading this you can come out of depression. It is NOT permanent. Yes it is hard and takes more work that most people can imagine, but it can be done.
seanetal
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1970
Joined: Fri Nov 01, 2002 2:55 am
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 4:03 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Depression and Suicide

Postby Infinite » Sat Jan 24, 2004 3:55 am

seanetal wrote:Last Thursday, January 15thm 2004, I attended a presentation of In Our Own Voices by NAMI Greater Seattle.

I spoke briefly before the presentation and an older Russian gentleman picked up my card, I'll call him Jim. Jim called me on Sunday and asked for some help for his friend, another Russian man whom I'll call Tom. Jim told me that Tom suffered from depression and was having a very hard time with life. I told Jim to pass my information along to Tom and I would see what I could do to find him some help.

Tom called me about 20 minutes later and we spoke for more than an hour about his situation. I took his information down and told him I would get back to him with some information.

On Monday I called Tom back and left a voice mail with the phone numbers for the local NAMI chapters and the local crisis lines. I asked him to call me or call someone at the numbers I had provided.

Jim called me this evening and told me that Tom had purchased a gun and shot himself on Wednesday January 21, 2004.

I did what I could, and Jim did what he could... but it wasn't enough.


Sean,

I am very sorry to hear this. You did what you could, and that was that. I believe that one's death is solely responsible within the hands of God, and God only. May his soul rest in peace.

seanetal wrote:Six years ago I was where Tom was on Tuesday. For those reading this you can come out of depression. It is NOT permanent. Yes it is hard and takes more work that most people can imagine, but it can be done.


Stay strong my man. I concur, depression is permanent if you let it be.

Although very sad news, thanks for sharing.

-camilo
"A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results." -Wade Boggs
Infinite
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2003 11:53 pm
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 11:03 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Suicide

Postby Helen » Sat Jan 24, 2004 5:22 am

:( Sean I am very sorry to hear that this has occurred. The consequences to those left behind when a suicide occurs are very devastating. You knew this man for a brief moment in time, yet are deeply affected by his death. I have known a couple of people who killed themselves, as did my paternal grandmother ... it stays with those left behind forever.

There is nothing you could have done -- as you say, you did all that you could. There some resources for the family and friends of those who kill themselves. It is unfortunate that our society does not provide the resources to those affected by serious mental illness, which Clinical Depression is part of. Just the Wednesday, I was told that the World Health Organization has predicted that within the next 5 to 10-years that Depression will move into the number two spot causing death in the United States.

Please continue to take care of yourself during this time of loss and impact.

Helen.
Helen
 

Postby zapatron » Sun Jan 25, 2004 9:53 pm

thats freaky, but altogether not very sad for tom or whatever. probably sad for the people around him, but why stay trapped somewhere you don't like? if you hate your job, find a new one. dont just start taking pills to cope with it. i bet he's happier now. why do all you kooks go looking on the pessimistic side of things?
zapatron
 

Postby Infinite » Sun Jan 25, 2004 10:19 pm

zapatron wrote:thats freaky, but altogether not very sad for tom or whatever. probably sad for the people around him, but why stay trapped somewhere you don't like? if you hate your job, find a new one. dont just start taking pills to cope with it. i bet he's happier now. why do all you kooks go looking on the pessimistic side of things?


I see you are a 'guest' here, and not sure if you intent to become a member either.

Cooks? You're easy with calling others what might be your insecurity, which in this case being a cook? I see. Remember, you took the time surfing and finding a mental health forum. Why automatically stereotype on somehting you obviously have no bearing?

Opinions are constantly floating around in this forum, but I nor other members appreciate your vague attitude. We do try to keep it as positive as possible. We share our comments all differently. We all have own style at whatever we are triggering, mental health.

Get educated.


X:Infinite
Camilo Gonzalez
"A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results." -Wade Boggs
Infinite
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2003 11:53 pm
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 11:03 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby seanetal » Mon Jan 26, 2004 1:41 am

Zap,

Thanks for being a perfect example of the stigma associated with mental illness. You obviously don't understand much about the way Depression affects different people. Calling anyone with a mental illness a "kook" shows how small minded you really are.

Committing suicide because you are depressed is like committing suicide because you have the flu. Both are very treatable and temporary illnesses. Depression may last longer than a typical bout with the flu, and the effects are more emotionally devastating, but the fact is with treatment you can overcome the illness.

As for us "looking on the pessimistic side of things" how is telling someone they can recover pessimistic? In my opinion your sad view that he is better off dead is the pessimistic one.

I for one would appreciate it if you did not darken the doorsteps of my website again unless you can be more civil and understanding.
seanetal
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1970
Joined: Fri Nov 01, 2002 2:55 am
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 4:03 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby MSBLUE » Mon Jan 26, 2004 2:45 am

Sean,

My feelings go out to you. I've been there, and I fortunatly was lucky that all worked out.

It is horrifically hard to try to help someone who is destined for the worse. You did more than many people would ever have even considered. So many don't understand and don't want to get involved. When someone cries for help, it is FOR REAL. I've learned never to ignore it.

I lost my best friend in 96, and 2 cousins in 97. No one knew the pain they felt. They saved my life tho. They are now my angels , for they died not in vane, but to open my eyes to the illness more, and to dedicate my life to helping others and myself. But when that time comes that I cannot make a difference, I have to accept the pain this person must have felt, and realize that only one person can stop it, and that is the painful soul.

I hope this (your) story helps many people, and I pray that you are not permanently scarred by what you could not control. You did all you could do. I praise you.

Thank you for all you do.
Image
MSBLUE
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1807
Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2003 5:19 pm
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 5:03 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

I'm so sorry

Postby sweetngentle » Tue Jan 27, 2004 12:54 am

Sean,
I'm sorry about the death of this man. I can relate....

For the past 4 years I have e-mailed and "chatted" through mic's on yahoo with a young man who had schizophrenia. He was of great help to me. He helped me to understand sz and that was of great benefit since I am working with my 20 yr old son. He lived in Australia and planned a visit to the states (he knew quite a few people in the states)...he planned to visit this summer.

We would chat several times a week and he and my son , Dan chatted also. In mid November Dan & I became very concerned about him. He was never on-line and none of our e-mails were returned. So we thought he had most likely had a relapse and was in a p hosp. A couple of weeks later I received an e-mail from his mother. She told me that he had lost his battle with schizophrenia and had taken his life. He cut a piece of garden hose, fastened one end to the exhaust pipe outside his care and the other end inside. The fumes quickly did their work. His mother passed along his "good-bye" letter to her to me in the e-mail.

It's strange that you have had this same thing happen. It has caused me to see that I somehow have to get over the death of my friend. I have a lousy habit of just getting busy and think that it's over when it's not. I know that because as I have been typing this tears have flwed to my eyes...and I still feel the shock and grief that my friedn of only 26 yrs old took his life. If only he had e-mailed me....said he needed to chat...if only I could have known how down he was. And how does his family cope with the death of a 26 yr old man.

I feel like I let him down....but also that he let me down too. He didn't give me a chance to help him in his most desparate hour of need. Now he is gone....just GONE...and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.

And now I know I need to work on this whole issue morebecause I am still devastated.

I know i've digressed from the thread here...I'm sorry.

Sweetngentle
PS)sean...please don't blame yourself you barely had time to help him.
Blessed are those
who can give without
remembering, and take
without forgetting.
sweetngentle
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 830
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2003 8:45 pm
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 6:03 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby Infinite » Tue Jan 27, 2004 9:25 pm

I experienced grief on my part when I found that my friend Jeff had committed suicide last year. I was in New York at the time. I saw him a month before I moved up there. He had taken Oxycontin overnight, and never woke up. He left a letter to his family telling how the death of our older friend, Gio, who died in a car accident in high school had really scarred him and that he was just hating life obviously stating all of his depressive moods. Experiences like this made me stronger. After loosing my best friend, Ryan, in '94, I was 12 at the time....death came to me easier. I was able to control my depression, and this is why I'm here today I would say. I can easily go on with names of close friends and family whom I have lost.

Stay strong. :idea: :arrow:
"A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results." -Wade Boggs
Infinite
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2003 11:53 pm
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 11:03 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby AnnieX » Fri Jan 30, 2004 3:00 pm

zapatron wrote:thats freaky, but altogether not very sad for tom or whatever. probably sad for the people around him, but why stay trapped somewhere you don't like? if you hate your job, find a new one. dont just start taking pills to cope with it. i bet he's happier now. why do all you kooks go looking on the pessimistic side of things?



I find myself equally amused and offended by people who make stupid assumptions and stupid remarks regarding something they've likely never experienced and have not even a passing knowledge of. Depression and unhappiness are NOT the same thing. Depressed people do NOT kill themselves because their relationships aren't working or their jobs suck.

So what brings you here? Your job sucks and you don't know what to do about it so you thought maybe you could make yourself feel better by pissing on someone that you perceive as being smaller and weaker than you feel? Perhaps you are a depressed person in denial.
AnnieX
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2004 9:14 pm
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 5:03 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Next

Return to Living With Mental Illness Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 46 guests