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Wish this is good place to post

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Wish this is good place to post

Postby plmnb » Sun May 24, 2015 11:29 am

Hello,
At first point , let me excuse if it's wrong thread...
I have got problem. I can't stop thinking furthermore can't completely focus on the things i want to...
It doesn't seem to look weird ,right?
No matter what I do, I always comment something in my brain. It's like endless speech...
Before i created this post i was thinking what I'm going to write here and also possible answers from you...
When I go somewhere I unconsciously drop my eyes on the road and "teleport to thoughts"
It started one year ago. I was working at nights it was very boring and monotonous work. I was thinking to fasten my shift... After few months i noticed that no matter what i do , i'm thinking+ teleporting most of my consciousness to thoughts.
There is a game. Game which requires a lot of focus. When i'm playing it same thing happens.
I feel like being in two places at the same times. Sometimes i'm so in "thoughts" that i almost can't react what's going on on my screen. As i know it's often called mind wandering ,but for me it gets even worse because it happens when i'm talking with someone. I very often ask "Can you repeat".
Back to that game. Most people ,when playing that game are using "Muscle memory".
When i'm playing + thinking at same time i'm not able to use it at all. I have to control my hand manually. So my mind is in few parts. Playing + thinking + control my hand consciously.
I try to force my focus on game ,but it's most likely like fight. Focus game focus, then brain forces "it's thoughts", then i have to focus to not let my brain stream it's thoughts ,but when i focus on not focusing then i'm not focusing on game at all. Same thing happens to any task...
Often it pisses off me so much that , if my brain was real person i would kick it's ass , i'm extremely angry.
+ Total anhedonia, but I don't feel like being in depression.
I went to psychiatric... Paid 50$ for visit (30 min) , no test at all. She gave me some drugs(anti depression) . It didn't help me at all.
Still constantly thinking whenever doing something.
plmnb
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Re: Wish this is good place to post

Postby impromptu » Sun May 24, 2015 8:19 pm

hello plmnb, welcome to the forum.. i'm going to move your post to Living With Mental Illness forum so you can get more response but i'll also leave a shadow in Specific Diseases so it will appear in both places. good luck
fminorless life is a living death
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