I just hate work

I just hate the fact that we have to work so bloody hard in this society to make ends meet.

I hate it so much that for now, I'd rather be unemployed and live with my father than financially independent.

Of course eventually I need to find a source of income, whether it's disability or welfare income, or job income, it's just very difficult for me, I've got a lot barriers.

I've had various menial jobs over the last 10 years, but it seems like I'm getting more sick of work as I go on, not less.

The last job I had was at the bottom of the barrel, the absolute lowest of the low, in terms of dignity, but at least it was asocial and fairly easy, but that's no longer an option for me anymore, really, unfortunately.

I have a lot of barriers besides performance anxiety, I'm indolent, unambitious and unmotivated when it comes to money, material things and even hedonistic pursuits, and I loathe the pace at which society moves, and how it not only demands you to do a satisfactory job, but to do it with a smile on your face, and to do it fast.

Everything's rush rush rush, with these people, makes me sick.

I've always been this way, always, since I was a boy.

I don't just blame myself, i'm full of anger and hostility for society, why can't these people just slow the frig down, why do they have to drink so much coffee, and sacrifice so much of their health/leisure for their job, it makes my blood boil?

Why must we compete so much with one another, we should be cooperating, why is the game of life rigged to frig the little guy in butt?

Oh, sometimes I have anti-establishment feelings and thoughts, I've done some criminal things in the past too, all because i loathe work.

My parents were too soft on me, they coddled me, did not prepare me for the work force, but i can't blame it all on them, i didn't prepare myself either, too busy procrastinating, playing video games and so on, youtube, mindless entertainment and impractical research.

I have few regrets though, at least at this point.

I should've been a little bit more like this or like that, but I'm glad i didn't end up a consumerist automaton (as I see it) like so many, and went my own way.

I'm just so full of hate, when it's not directed inward at myself in the form of shame, it's outward at society, with an impulse to destroy.

Can anyone else remotely relate to the feelings I'm experiencing and the life you've lead, because if you can't at all sympathize, i'm not even sure if i'm interested in talking to you, although maybe i should because that's how growth often happens, even if i ultimately end up disagreeing, it might help to know the perspective i'm disagreeing with, better.

I'm a minimalist, that will probably never change, i'm only interested in doing the bare minimum to get by in this world, and then using my free time to pursue my hobbies and interests, and live my life however i see fit, but lately i haven't even been doing that.

It's only a matter of time me and my father part ways as he and my mother are poor, and they can't afford to be helping me out forever.

I might even end up on the street if i can not find a job suitable to my personality or disability or whatever.

I relate to your situation as if it was my own...because it very closely is.

I even took steps to buy land and try and create a sanctuary for people to escape the system, and it was toppled by an angry psychotic Bible thumper with guns and a propensity for violence; he answered my ad, set up his camp, then started a war with nearby neighbors resulting in gunfire, numerous sheriff visits, and my selling of the remaining parcels of land to he and his father so I could get the hell out of there.

Why am I telling you this?

Because America has MANY built in fail safes which are designed to destroy free thinkers such as yourself. Whether it's county or state zoning regulations and rules, or the culture of people itself...people who try and escape it, or transcend it, end up attacked on numerous levels.

It's no small feat.

I'm not saying a person cannot find a comfortable situation...or luck out, but credit reporting agencies, laws and codes, the dependent infrastructure, mass hypnotic media, chronic violence, excessive real estate costs, jobs designed to enslave...are all formidable impediments to emancipation.

Most end up taking on their corporate controlled job and watching Netflix before they check in for another low wage subsistence shift with next to no benefits. Real estate costs, medical debt, student loans, 9$ hourly wage all add up to slave's wages. We are all serfs serving the feudal lord on his wide palatial manner.

This book might be helpful:

http://microcosmpublishing.com/catalog/books/2336/

Beautifully spoken, Arc Angel!

Indeed; the palatial everglass of worthless, meaningless endeavors ultimately, meticulously, through thousands of years of evolution pillaged and designed to serve the wealth and fancies of a particular elite who have seized, through tyranny long ago, the earth's resources.

Often people possess a very particular naivety when they buy into the narratives of social constructs that only glorify the systems and nauseatingly deformed depictions of history to perpetrate the agenda. On one hand, we are often told that our particular country's "master" is a benevolent, even if absurd, servant and conductor of divine grace, strength, and justice—and that the remaining world pales comparatively purely of their own idiocy and imperfection.

For years and years, minds spin in hamster-circles around the contemplative nature of government and the world in some sort of strange, open field of possibility and mystery—dangerously oblivious to the nature and prevalent preservation of power. Much of the wars and passions of the past have resulted in feudal discoveries of exploitation and manipulation at its finest; rather than these madhouses destructing, they typically sustain their self in endless formations and transformations.

The power structure of the earth today is not so different than in the past; same bloodlines, same mental frameworks, same beliefs, same spiritual shrines ... They may change faces with the human element of death and all, and they may change clothes with the fashions of the times—but they rarely relieve or invest in humility, equality, and subsequence ... And if they do, it is has another agenda for the amassment and procurement of power, delinquency, and delusion for the glory of, again, the earthly "masters" who have wickedly divorced themselves of the human condition.

This being said, even newer nations such as America are really just reinvented republics and simply wind up laborhouse smokescreens of supposed democracy for whatever filthy bastards have utilized economics, fame, and psychology to play a not so friendly game of house and Risk with very real spirits that do not belong to them.

Enter you—another soulless face in a sea of "rotten" faces for the kingsmen and their agendas. To prevent cataclysmic revolt, slavery usually only changes faces and language until the victims wakeup to what's actually happening. The average person is perfectly oblivious to the enslavement and deceptive structure of politics ... Terms like "fast-paced, competitive environment", "team-players", "full-time", "good, hard work ethic" and the like ring with an accusatory, unholy proposition across the sales-ploys of the earth while free spirits, like us, quiver to know, inside, truly, that these terms and efforts are typically exhaustive, menial, unrewarding dog-eat-dog gifts from the claws of thieves designed to keep the earth and its peasants in perfect harmony with worshiping and serving the whims and desires of, 99.99% of the time, some band of bandits at the top who are having faaaar too much fun at our expense.

Acedia Tristitia wrote:Can anyone else remotely relate to the feelings I'm experiencing and the life you've lead, because if you can't at all sympathize, i'm not even sure if i'm interested in talking to you, although maybe i should because that's how growth often happens, even if i ultimately end up disagreeing, it might help to know the perspective i'm disagreeing with, better.

To a large extent, I share the same sentiments. And I dare say many people with libertarian tendencies do. Despite the fact that most people would reject the notion of “wage slavery” it is still very much a useful concept and gives a needed historical perspective to the dissatisfying conditions of contemporary work. Actually the modern concept of work is a hopelessly narrow one and neglects many value-producing activities. (Only those with a wage or a business are considered to be “working”.)

Heinz Duthel writes: “--- responses of [early industrial] workers to the experience of wage labour is important to show that capitalism is by no means “natural.” The fact is the first generation of workers tried to avoid wage labour is at all possible as they hated the restrictions of freedom it imposed upon them. They were perfectly aware that wage labour was wage slavery -- that they were decidedly unfree during work hours and subjected to the will of another. While many working people now are accustomed to wage labour - while often hating their job - the actual process of resistance to the development of capitalism indicates well its inherently authoritarian nature. Only once other options were closed off and capitalists given an edge in the "free" market by state action did people accept and become accustomed to wage labour."

Duthel, H. Anarchism – II. 2013.

Thanks Antago...

And reading the words Antago, El Nino, and even Acedia (since he/she got the thoughts rolling) I can see that I've come to the right place. For years I've been trying to voice to others what you all have written so eloquently and knowledgeably. I'm glad that other very deep thinkers exist, who have thought about and analyzed the systems and methods people around me seem to accept without question. I NEED that in my life, and consider me an attentive reader of your works.

(end of fan letter)

I agree with the sentiment expressed here.
There seems to be no solution that does not require extreme bravery and going without.
To become even a 'street' person now entails having a certain wage
I have spent many years trapped in the system, suffocating and experiencing an irreversible annihilation of all creativity and ability to derive joy from simple pleasures.
One cannot even readily escape into nature without encountering signs such as 'trespassers will be shot''...'private property only''
It enrages me that wealthy people can 'own ' large chunks of beachfront or river front...etc...making it inaccessible for the people who really appreciate it and need it.
No wonder Mental health issues are snowballing in society.
It is a horrible world and the mental exhaustion of trying to get off the thread mill and find a way to survive on social welfare' whilst dealing with it's endless paperwork ( designed to wear one down by attrition ) is almost as bad as working for a nameless, soulless company , with people who are brainwashed ....as I have discovered having taken 9months out.
I now have to re-enter the 'heart of darkness' and work to pay off debt which has accumulated from having had time out
This means I must stay on and perhaps double my dose of antidepressant to endure it.
I feel i have done my time...paid my dues...but it is never enough. Retirement age has been increased to 65yrs.. .
If i do not escape long before that age, I shall end it all.

You're not alone because there are a lot of people who hate their jobs and the daily grind of life, hence why movies like Fight Club & Office Space are so popular even today because a lot of people can relate to this feeling of meaninglessness in their lives.

The simple truth is that not everyone is cut out to find satisfaction from a daily 9-5 cookie cutter lifestyle. Doing a bunch of meaningless tasks as if the crap was really that important just to earn some sub-par wage so you can pay some bills you're not even sure why you pay. The problem isn't necessarily a matter of laziness but a matter of priorities as in what you find to be a meaningful use of your time versus all the crap life demands you do as part of the daily grind !

There are probably a few people who are lucky enough to wake up everyday and do work they actually love to do & find meaningful plus get paid decently enough to live off of. However there are far more people who are just stuck in the meaningless daily grind of life who wake up everyday and wonder why they even bother.

All societies have some form of rigidity to them but honestly compared to other countries the US is probably only moderately rigid. I mean S Korea has the worlds highest suicide rate cause of all the expectations that society places on it's people to succeed. Still yes compared to some countries in Europe where people have more off time the US is really a work till you die kind of country and just mentally contemplating that is depressing.


However back on point I think the best case scenario is to find something that you are passionate about that's like food for your soul ! Finding something that brings you a real sense of accomplishment and happiness is a lot more meaningful than just being another drone in the ant colony. It's not so bad to work hard when you are working towards a dream or goal you are passionate about rather than just working hard just to get by with no end in sight and no light at the end of tunnel.

In general I think blaming the establishment is utterly pointless as your happiness and sense of satisfaction is something you have to find for yourself. That's not to say there are not plenty of things to gripe about in our society, there are plenty and they SUCK HARD !! I just don't see how raging against the machine like an angsty teen is going to change anything. The whole of society is not going alter itself just to suit your personal needs so rather you have to find a way to alter your reality to find something that is meaningful to you.

Well that's just my take on it.

Acedia Tristitia wrote:I'm just so full of hate, when it's not directed inward at myself in the form of shame, it's outward at society, with an impulse to destroy.

Hello Acedia Tristitisa
What do you feel ashamed of?
(if I am not being too indiscreet..)

Ifeelya wrote:In general I think blaming the establishment is utterly pointless as your happiness and sense of satisfaction is something you have to find for yourself. That's not to say there are not plenty of things to gripe about in our society, there are plenty and they SUCK HARD !! I just don't see how raging against the machine like an angsty teen is going to change anything. The whole of society is not going alter itself just to suit your personal needs so rather you have to find a way to alter your reality to find something that is meaningful to you.

Well that's just my take on it.

There is little incentive or encouragement for artistic people to indulge in what they are passionate about. Society is depriving itself of many a great writer, painter, muso etc...because it is just tooo hard for them to survive financially.
There was a time when such abilities were encouraged.

for those with mental Health issues , there is no consideration given regarding the kind of productivity they could engage in. They either have to confine themselves to the fringes of society or live in abject poverty.

Individuality is not encouraged but ostracized.

I know most people 'live quiet lives of desperation'..and yes of course to find something we are passionate about even if wages are low , is the ideal...
I think More can be done to embrace / accommodate / integrate people who do not fit the norm.
Society's approach is to force a square peg into a round hole when it could quite easily with a little imagination and care for the individual create something different.
Profit has become the key goal rather than the welfare of an individual.